Downtown Taylor Brown....Never Stop Smiling

It's not very often that we meet someone who you can say had an impact on your life in the most positive way possible. Unfortunately, it's in extremely hard times that we are reminded of these instances and sure there are things that we can all do to change that but rather than focus on that right now I would like to take this post and dedicate it to a dear friend of mine, Taylor Brown. I met Taylor back in 2004/2005 through one of my closest friends and it goes without saying that we had one of the best summers ever that summer in New Orleans. Whether it was hanging out at the Villa, driving slightly recklessly in The Disco or visiting the Abita brewery in Abita Springs, Louisiana, the three of us were having the very best time and most importantly - smiling at every moment in every day.

When I got a call the other day from my friend who I had unfortunately lost touch with over time - which we all know happens - it was with extremely sad news. Our very dear friend who we both hadn't seen in years was very sick. My heart broke listening to her on the phone explaining his situation. Cancer. 29 years old. If it wasn't the worst news I'd ever received over the phone - it was close to it. In the midst of wanting to cry, get on a plane to Chicago to give my friend who I haven't seen/hardly spoken to in a couple of years and just give her a hug because I was so sad, I couldn't help but picture Taylor's signature smile. A smile that would be the same had you told him he won a million dollars or if you told him someone slit his tires at an LSU football game. Not a thing in the world could bring Downtown Taylor Brown down. And his current health situation is no different.

As soon as I heard of his situation, I was told of a website that was created in his honor - for him and his fiance, Donia: http://helpsavetaylor.com/ Unfortunately I have never met Donia, but from everything that I have heard from my friend, and everything that I see her doing at this incredibly hard time in her life, I only wish I could meet her to tell her that I think she is one of the strongest, most amazing people that I have never even met. Without knowing her, I know that she was brought to Taylor for a reason and I say that not being religious or spiritual in any way.

When I asked my friend to tell Taylor that I said hello and give him a hug for me, she told me that when she went to see him and said 'Erin says hi' - he immediately said - 'Jersey!!!' That's what he's called me since day one. The only person ever to give me a nickname that wasn't related to my last name. And I can just hear him saying it to me right now...with the biggest grin on his face.

Taylor...if I could come and visit you now in Houston I would tell you this:
I have never met anyone like you. I honestly don't think I will ever meet anyone like you. You have a smile, a personality that can change the mood in any room for the better. So many memories with you over the course of such a short amount of time and I'm so very thankful for all of those times. So very thankful. And if I know you, I know that you are still smiling now, every day and I hope you continue to do that. Cause if I know anything about you, I know that you will fight through this...and smile every step of the way. So much love to you and Donia. Miss you to pieces.

Love always,
Jersey

Facebook Therapy

This is really something to talk about.. I think. If not, then I am completely going nuts and am in the process of turning into a cynical bitch in my older age. And by old age I mean the ripe YOUNG age of 28. But I am noticing this more and more and thought it'd be wise to get it out in the open so that we could all either agree, disagree.. or agree to disagree.

Now everyone has a friend or two who are in somewhat unhappy relationships. This could be for any reason at all - I won't even bother to name specifics - but you know who I'm referring to. And obviously, this is not something that I am trying to draw attention to in any positive way - but more bringing to light a point and that is: why on Earth would you go on Facebook.. the world's most frequented and abused social network to confess your undying love for your significant other - who any of your real friends knows is driving you f'n crazy?!!??!

Is this because the percentage of people in your friend pool doesn't really know what's actually going on in your life and is rather following what's going on with you strictly through Facebook? Meanwhile - the rest of your friends...this is your actual friends now...are all sitting around hanging out wondering - why the F did so and so post on their status today that they have never been happier in their life.. when just last night they were texting you about how much they can't stand so and so.

This type of text would lead you to believe that there is a sense of unhappiness in the air and the type of status update I just referred to is relatively unwarranted. What is the point then??! Why broadcast to the entire world that you are living this life that is not true? I don't get it. And I mean I've been in really bad relationships...I guess it just worked out for me that they were all before Facebook. I'm so lucky... I know.

What do we think about this? Am I crazy? I find a much better place for this type of banter is on blackberry messenger status. At least that's a little bit of a smaller audience than the more than 500 million active users on Facebook. Just an observation.

Please share..

Let's Fight

After so many years of being single and watching friends...some closer than others.. go in and out of relationships...stay in wonderful relationships and everything in between - I have come to one gigantic conclusion: people genuinely enjoy fighting (this includes arguing, pouting and anything of the sort). This probably sounds like the most ridiculous statement but I can honestly say that I used to be like this. Way back in the day when I used to be in college...I was in a long distance relationship and well.. what other reason to fight than absolutely no reason at all. And looking back now I just don't get it.

The irony in this now is that I have completely removed myself from this scenario all together by choosing to be single...until the end of time. Just kidding.. but for the past year or so...and I have witnessed more of the 'college Erin' behavior than I'd like to admit. And as I always do - I'll resist mentioning names and speak entirely in generalizations. What the FUCK is wrong with all of you??? And to be honest - I can't even lie and say that it's equally as much the girls fault as it is the guys'. No. It's ENTIRELY the girls' fault. Why do we all act like this?!?!? Sure it could be insecurities. It could be attention whoriness (definitely a word). It could be their friends ultimate unhappiness which results in severe projecting...never a good thing. I mean the possibilities are endless.

But seriously - what is the point??!?!! Why is it that we all have a problem just being happy with our lives the way they are?!?! It's sickening to me. And even though I am a complete hypocrite saying that - I am going to say it anyway and leave you all with some advice.

As long as you are with someone who makes you happy...you make them happy and you both genuinely enjoy each other's company...you're good to go. So lock that shit up and stop picking fights. It's annoying and pointless. You can be spending your time doing much more important stuff...like going to Chipotle...or something.

Night night.

Sex is the Worst Thing...If it's the Only Thing

How's that for a title after not blogging for MONTHS!!! I'm constantly amazed at how long I can go without writing anything down. More often than not it explains my snappy attitude that comes out every now and again (more often than not lately at work) but it truly is therapeutic for me to write so I am going to make a conscious effort to start this glorious blog back up again.

So that no one is confused - I will still be writing about things I read (?), things I hear about, witness, want to witness...etc. in hopes that they are all along the same lines as what everyone else is experiencing and hence the foundation of a pretty decent conversation. I figure it's the least I can do when society is forcing us to speak in acronyms that are only known by the youth of America but being misused by our parents...some of them I should say. By no means am I referring to my mother here - the Facebook guru. She can do no wrong now that I have moved out of the house and want nothing more than for her to come visit me every day.

As usual - I have gone off topic. Sex. Yes. And casual sex at that. What in the hell is up with this topic? Never in my life have I heard more conflicting stories. But I'll tell you what - they are all GREAT stories which is why I figured this would make for a phenomenal blog.

I've taken it upon myself to compile all of the stories, the woes, the juice and everything else in the middle that pertain to this topic and summarize it in one sentence: Sex is the worst thing if it's the only thing. Great title for a blog post if you're looking for one. While casual sex has it's place in this world.. and I truly do believe that.. I've decided it's ultimately evil. Even when people I know have had what they describe as 'amazing sex with this guy on a regular basis but have no actual ties to' - they almost always come back to me with - 'Oh.. I haven't heard from him' or 'Oh...he asked if he could Facebook my friend.' Unless both parties involved have no interest in emotions - permanently - it really can only end badly. Or..if one of the parties involved has nothing but emotions but doesn't think they know what they want and therefore proceeds to act really awkwardly and off-putting in an effort to curb their immature ways..it's just bad news bears.

Regardless of the fact that I am now... finally.. living on my own in Red Bank...I have absolutely no desire to get involved in these shenanigans. I'd much rather go out and WALK to any of my favorite places and watch all of the madness unfold so that I can continue to come home...yes..alone...but to write about all of the wackiness I see during my adventures. You can all thank me some other time for keeping you entertained.

I would love to hear if you all have differing views. If you've had amazing casual relations and absolutely, in no way would you lead someone away from this glorious path. Just keep in mind - I'm not taking that bait. Just simply trying to make for a nice conversation. Can't wait to see what my mother has to say about this.

It's good to be back...

Emotional vs. Sensitive

Every day people spend time analyzing the differences between men and women. When you really think about how much time we all spend trying to figure out why he took what I said the way that he did or why she reacted the way that she did - all to find out that nothing was wrong in the first place. That's what I'd like to call - over-analyzing. It's f'n exhausting.

That of course is not the purpose for this blog. Today at work a very young, enlightened mind said to me, "We decided today that men are much more sensitive than women and women are emotional." My response was - I will write my blog about that tonight and here I am.

I'm very interested in this concept because I feel like it couldn't be more on point. Generally when people hear words like emotional and sensitive - there is almost always an assumption that the person/people in question are women. Which makes sense - women generally express themselves more regularly, have unnecessary emotional outbursts that could probably be avoided with a hint of self confidence or trust for that matter. It is for that exact reason that I am confident saying that women, more often than not, let their emotions get the best of them.

Men on the other hand, have a little something stronger that tends to get in their way and that is their ego. I firmly believe that most men (sorry for the blanket statement) let their egos get in their way more often than not- rather than just admitting to a whole slew of things - being wrong, trying to get their way when it's really no big deal, doing something they don't want to do - necessary - and putting up a bit of a fight to try to get their way...all of these things are what drive everyone crazy - including the guy who is involved in the conversation. And I truly believe that a negative effect of the male ego is extreme sensitivity. They don't want to be wrong. They don't want to be told what to do - whereas most girls would rather be told what to do - or at least that seems to be what people think. I say this with absolutely no success stories on dating, on guys or on anything I guess so I'm talking right out of my ass.

I do find that if you are truthful with a guy and it is something that he see's as an insult, a personality flaw or a stereotype - he is not going to be happy with you. And that right there is sensitivity. Sensitive to certain topics - maybe that's a better way to put it. The point is - more often than not - if you say something to a man that can, in some way, be taken as an negative characteristic that he might have - this is not going to be received very well - UNLESS - this man in question is magically willing to understand the fact that we should all be working hard to better ourselves on a daily basis. While that may come across as an incredibly lame statement - I'd say now, more than ever, that's something that I'm sticking to - so please go ahead and deal with the lameness.

So what do we think of these generalizations? Am I crazy...or just absolutely right?

I'd love to hear what you think - as always.

Have a good one..

This Brings Me to Online Dating...

I don't know what it is lately with the blog...but I just am not making time to write down anything that goes on in my crazy mind every day. Not sure if it's been too much going on to pinpoint things to actually write about or something that I just can't think of all together.. but I'm gonna write something and hopefully it's interesting if nothing else.

If you remember back in the day when I started Blindfolded it was because I had been on what is still the worst date I have ever been on. Well believe it or not I am STILL SINGLE and have taken the apparently inevitable leap into online dating and do you want to know what it has taught me so far - maybe I'm not ready for dating. Here's the thing with online dating - it's completely superficial which is 100% the opposite of my personality. I mean just the other day I got up the balls to send my first 'inmail' on eHarmony and do you want to know what happened???? I got an email saying that so and so had 'declined' my request to communicate. HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ME and I'm still being rejected. Christ! If that's not a blow to the self esteem I don't know what is...oh wait.. I can think of plenty of things that are a blow to the self esteem but I'm not that angry or bitter to go there.

But seriously - sure people can read your profiles and really get to know how good of a bullshitter.. I mean person you are - but how honest are people being? If you want my honest opinion - eHarmony...you are sending me nothing but slop. No offense. That could very well be what these people think of me but I'm just not convinced that this is for me. I feel like every inch of my heart and soul has faith that there is still hope in meeting someone the old fashioned way.. at random, through a friend, never through a family member...you know.. the old fashioned way. And you know what - that's bound to work out sooner or later.

I'm not sure what the pressure is all about to start dating someone - or maybe just date in general - but what I'm doing right now is a hell of a lot of 'hanging out.' My mother will certainly attest to that. I'm never home and that brings me to another realization - maybe I'm not at a point where I want to be dating.. or proactively thinking about dating. Because if I was- I probably wouldn't be going out every night and not logging into my different accounts to see what guy with a bizarre username thinks of me. It's all so strange still.

And so the point of this post is the following - if you are not at a point where you are ready to invest beyond emotionally ...but invest your time...into online dating...it isn't worth your time or money. Ultimately everything is about timing anyway so it's either going to work out like this - you'll meet someone when the time is right or you'll be at a point in time in your life when you have the time to find someone.

I'm thinking I still need some me time.. but we'll see how that works out.

Happy hunting!

And Here's to Papa John

It's safe to say that losing a loved one is one of the most difficult and emotionally trying events that any individual has to go through. On top of that - depending on your personal affiliation with that person - you very often think about how others are going to react to the same loss - just from a different point of view. I think this is something that we all struggle with on a regular basis - not the sheer act of losing someone but rather interpreting how another person - probably another friend or family member - is going to react to the situation and determine from there any next steps or precautions in the name of mourning.

This was the exact situation that me and my close to 20 very best friends have been faced with over the course of this past week. Coming off of the marriage of two of the greatest people I have ever known - we were all confronted with the very sad news that my great friend John's father, Mr. Stapleton, had passed away. All of this news in the midst of spending a week on the same said friends' honeymoon in the Bahamas...aboard the Carnival Pride.

You can imagine our immediate disbelief in the situation when John shared the news; however, the tonality in his voice was one that his father would have been extremely proud of and I will not be the first or the last to tell him that.

Mr. Stapleton was quite possibly one of the most honest, fun-loving, caring, diplomatic and just genuinely happy people I have ever met. Having a son who just happened to have more than 10 best friends that had to be around at all times was probably not the ideal situation for any parent - which eventually lead to the infamous...'Get to the back of the line you little...' - anyone who needs to know the ending there will....and that's fine. The point is - we are all so very lucky - eternally lucky to have had the opportunity to be a part of Mr. Stapleton's life and for that I am forever grateful.

I don't know that there is another person who I think of and the first thing that comes to mind is the shiniest face, the puffy cheeks and the kind of smile you can only wish to see on your father's, your husband's, your dad's, your brother's, your nephew's, your cousin's or your very best friend's face on a regular basis. But that was him. If he was there - good times were to be had and that is honestly the best way to summarize Mr. Stapleton.

And with that, I leave you - Papa John - with a little note:

There are not many people who come through my life - outside of my friends that I've had forever it seems at this point - who I can say have made me the type of better person, more confident person that I strive to be every day. And you did. You were always so proud of all of us and happy to have us around because you knew we were just genuinely good kids and I will love you forever for that. Thank you for being exactly the way you are. You will be terribly missed.

Rest in peace, Mr. Stapleton.

With nothing but love,

Erin