We have all experienced this moment. If you haven't then you have either been living a sheltered life or are regretting that you haven't experienced this awkward moment in single life. So as we all know, I have been enjoying the single life for just about a year now. All in all...I have no complaints. Certainly I cannot admit to have had the best luck dating. For whatever reason my overwhelming personality does not translate into the dating world. I can't quite figure it out but I will and report back.
One thing I noticed tonight got me thinking that this exact situation happens to me quite often while I'm out and I don't seem to know how to fix it so I am looking to all of you for advice. So imagine this scenario:
You are sitting at the bar with a friend..doesn't matter guy or girl...and that person gets up to go to the bathroom. So now you're there by yourself. You inevitably dig for your phone and either pray that you have received a text from someone who you know will be a good distraction for the next five minutes. This would be the avid texter who you know is good for say 3-4 back and forth texts. Even if you don't have a text you will just stare at your phone and scroll through your pictures if you have to in order to pass the time until you are no longer alone.
Now...at the same moment that you (and when I say you I mean me too. I just did this tonight for crying out loud.) are sitting there rudely scrolling through your phone...you happen to be sitting directly next to some semi-attractive people at the bar. In the rarist of instances this person will go as far as to speak to you (gasp!!). Tonight's conversation went like this:
Guy: 'Excuse me...what kind of beer do you have there?'
Me: 'This is actually the Belgian Witbier.'
Guy: 'Is it good?
Me: 'Oh yeah. It's actually really good. If you like white beer.. very similar to Hoegarden.'
Guy: 'Oh really? That's cool.'
And then my friend came back from the bathroom and that was over. I don't think I even looked in his direction again. I mean to be clear here, this guy was not overly attractive and could have been a sophomore in college for all I know. That's not the point. The point is, I'm outgoing in every other aspect of my life. Even at work nowadays! I'll basically say whatever it is I'm thinking and that's not to say this is a good thing but I am not afraid to speak my mind the way I used to be. Why is it that this is not easily transitioning into my non-existent 'game?'
Can all of my loyal readers explain that to me because this single lady needs a clue...or a date. Either way, I'm interested.
Yours truly,
The shy bafoon
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I don't see anything wrong with what you did. You answered his question, elaborated with an analogy. The truth is he was probably just as nervous, if not more so, than you were. And when your friend came back, it inadvertently signaled to him that conversation was over. No one's fault really.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, if you had bought him one and sent it over to him, that would've been money.
I love Saul! He is right, buying the guy a beer would have been a great opening and you are only out a few bucks if he is a dud. Nothing to lose, everything to gain. I say strike up that conversation with the guy at the bar that is semi-attractive and in your age range. I don't think "sophomore in college" is it though, but he could have just looked young.
ReplyDeleteI think the buying the guy a drink is a good move...and thanks for the tip...but I was sitting directly next to him so I'm not sure that applies here. Now it's awkward that I bought him a beer and am not speaking to him because I'm busy batching up with a friend I haven't seen in a month or so. It's definitely a good move if you're across the bar I think. And I also think I'll try that next time. Good call.
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