Sometimes Interns Find Their Way into your Home

Tonight's post comes at the 'request' of some friends..and/or years of listening to and living through experiences similar to those that I will write about. Hopefully everyone reading has had prior interaction with interns at work that will help in understanding this post; however, I can say up front that the women reading will more than likely appreciate this far more than the men, but it's still an interesting observation.

I will preface what I am about to write with a little *This post is in no way, shape or form meant to hurt anyone's feelings, but rather shed light on some interesting topics. Interns in a work setting play a very valuable role in the every day activities of an agency. Their commitment and work ethic has the capability of truly enhancing an agency's quality of work. However...and this is a big however...every now and again you get a couple of doozies. These interns will be the focus of this post.

I'm not quite sure how this happens, but every time I have had to work with interns, there are always a couple who are just not as motivated as I would like them to be. Maybe that's me being unrealistic, just simply a bitch, or too demanding, but...all I'm asking for is a little enthusiasm for the profession that you SEEM TO THINK you want to get into. Well here's what happens with these ones. You give them an assignment that is very well-explained, detailed and always always always say to ask questions if you have them. The final product in this instance is sub-par (to be generous). In no way is this the assignment you have given and you have to now spend your time re-doing the entire project. WHAT A WASTE! I often ask myself why I don't just do these assignments on my own.

And that brings me to my next point. This type of behavior often finds its way into relationships, whether they be live in or not (but more than likely live-in) and I'm finding it borderline unacceptable.

Despite the fact that we are living in the 21st century, there seems to be some preconceived notion that women have certain responsibilities and men have others. I'm not, in any way, going feminist on this post, but just bringing up a point. Why is it that women are more prone to clean, cook, do laundry, and men...more often than not...find their way out of these activities? I'm going to tell you why. Because when it comes down to it, women have little to no patience for things being done in a way that is in any way less than her standards. And so here's what happens. A woman/girlfriend...whatever... will ask her husband/boyfriend to maybe clean the bathroom or vacuum the house. Seems simple enough, right? Of course not. Nothing ever is.

Here's what happens. At the same moment that you have asked your whoever to clean the bathroom and vacuum the house....you are doing something else in a cleaning capacity (laundry, dishes, dusting, etc.). All of a sudden you hear some yelling from the bathroom, "Hun...what do I use to clean the toilet?" Response: "Toilet bowl cleaner." Very slow and unwilling to learn man in the bathroom, "Which one is the toilet bowl cleaner?" Response: Under your breathe, "Are you f'n kidding me?"

And here's where I say...and never to myself because I get too frustrated to hold it in, "It's okay hun...I'll clean the bathroom. You just sit down and relax." Why on EARTH would I want to sit there for an hour, answering questions, walking in and out of the bathroom to see what all of the commotion is when I can just do it all myself? Are we getting to the moral of this story?

Men are like interns. While they can (and do), from time to time, serve a very valuable purpose, they also very often will do things wrong or just in an awful fashion all together so that they are never asked to do them again. It's very sneaky, I know.

I would like to know how this is acceptable and if anyone has any stories they can share that will maybe change my opinion on this complete generalization I am making here. I always love to hear what you all have to say.

Thank you and goodnight!

Hurry Up and Wait

Now I am pretty positive that both men and women do this to each other on a regular basis, so no one has to go ahead and assume that this blog is sexist in any way. I certainly hope that's not the consensus but I never know. I'm very misunderstood.

So imagine you have made plans with your significant other, acquaintance, anyone...and you set a time and a place to meet. Or even better, you plan to meet up at that person's house. Now you're ready to rock and roll when you get there. Hell..nowadays, you're lucky if the person gets out of the car to come to the door to get you (this is obviously more of a date situation) as they are more likely to text you from the car to come outside. Real romantic, right?

Let's pretend for a minute that you go to the door and knock to get the person you're waiting for and they come to the door in their pajamas. Yup. That's right. They have taken zero time and put in zero effort to be ready on time and now you have to wait for them. Awesome. Just what I wanted to do tonight. Sit around while you ask me what you should wear, where are we going, do you really want to go there? I want to stay in. Let's just watch a movie. Ugh. It all makes me sick. And I would imagine this makes most people very angry and leads to things like road rage, violent behavior, the single lifestyle.

Why does this happen? Is it laziness? Uninterest? Boredom? I have no clue because I would like to believe that I would never make someone wait around for me. Or ever encourage sitting around and doing nothing unless it's cold and raining out. Sitting around when it's cold and/or raining out is fantastic and there's nothing better. But any other time. Awful.

And so here is my advice. Take it or leave it. I recommend taking it if you have even the slightest interest in making someone happy. Just be ready on time. Take the time to get your shit together and go out and have a good time. Everyone will benefit in the long run and it's the right thing to do. So just do it.

Thank you and good night.

Just Say So

While I may not have the resume to back up what is to come in this post, I am feeling the need to make a statement about being honest and upfront when you are casually seeing someone, actually dating someone or anywhere in between those two. When I say that I don't have the resume in this situation, I mean that I haven't dated around enough to probably make statements like this, but this is pretty much common courtesy so I'm not worried about it.

Why is it that it seems near impossible for a guy (or girl) to be honest with the person they're involved with on any given day? At this age, and yes...that is at the ripe age of 26 that I make this statement, I would HOPE that we are all mature enough to just say whatever it is we're thinking. If that hurts someone's feelings, tough shit. People have their own ways of going about handling given situations and let's just be honest and say that they will get over it eventually.

And this common courtesy I'm referring to doesn't have to involve someone you're even 'involved' with. That could be too strong and we know how guys can get (sorry...I'm sure girls can get this way too but most likely not) if you refer to your status with him as anything other than friends at best. God forbid. That's not even the situation here though. What I'm talking about is this:

You start talking to someone and you realize you have something in common. Super. So maybe you hang out a couple times, text, talk on the phone (blasphemy) or exchange IMs through Facebook. I mean the forms of communication are endless which only further emphasizes my point. Now clear out of the blue all communication ends. No explanation, no phone call, no text, no Facebook message, tweet, nothing. With all of the mediums out there in which to do so, it absolutely baffles me how difficult this is and yet they made an entire movie out of it. He's just not that into you.

If you were seeing someone else at the same time that you were talking to me, who the hell cares? Do you think this is going to put me into therapy that I can't afford because my insurance won't pay for it? God no. These types of things only matter if you're in an actual relationship and even then it seems guys have difficulties being honest. I'm hopeful that marriage brings out the honesty in people, but even that is up for debate at this point.

Regardless, here's what I think. Why bother wasting anyone's time in the first place? I've heard all of the excuses in the book at this point - even with my bleak resume. Hell...I've had a guy tell me that I was too good of a person for him. Are you friggin kidding me? So what does that make him? A bad person...very good. These are all ways of dancing around the obvious: you're just not interested anymore...never were...never will be and yet you continue to waste my time providing just enough humor and physical chemistry to keep me mildly interested.

Moving forward I ask that anyone reading this blog, or passing this blog along to friends to read because it's just that entertaining and useful, abide by the following dating/relationshipping rule: If you, at any moment in your dating, relationship, what have you, find yourself uninterested, losing interest or doubting your interest in general, open your mouth and say so. Don't make us beat it out of you. That's extra effort that we could be putting to good use on someone who might actually be interested.

Let that sink in over the weekend and let me know what you think. And share stories - as always. I love to hear them.

Happy Day.

When Bad Things Happen to Good People

This post is a direct result of my current illness, but I am feeling the need to vent in some way, shape or form. It just so happens that I'm sick...yet again...this coming off of having pneumonia about a month and a half ago...and it couldn't come at a worse time. When I was sick most recently, it was during a week when I had plans pretty much every day. Some will say that it is for that reason that I got sick in the first place (my mom, my dad, some friends) as they say that I am wearing my body down by partying too much. Partying is a bit strong, but I do like to go out when I can. I feel that it keeps me young and energized and allows me to experience things that I may have not been doing for the past couple of years...for whatever reason.

Needless to say, I was so pissed when this happened. I had plans to visit girls I used to work with at my old job - who I haven't seen in several months. I had to miss Live Band karaoke...which at the time, had become (and remains) my favorite thing to do every week. And to top it off, a friend was having a BBQ that I had been looking forward to for the past couple of weeks. In summary, I was missing out on a lot of good times.

And now we move to present day. I start to feel awful on Tuesday. Can't breath because my smart ass decided to run 4 miles at noon on a humid day when I never ever go running to begin with and apparently caused inflammation of my chest wall and rib cage. Awesome. I had to leave work early and miss a movie night with a friend. Fine. Next day, I have the pleasure of being my mom's biggest cheerleader as she speaks in front of 500 people at PNC Bank Arts Center, and after arriving at work around 10 I realize that I have uncontrollable shivers. I leave work early again to get home and find out I have 103.6 fever (highest of my life) and I will have to cancel dinner plans and an evening of comedy at The Stress Factory because I'm practically dying.

Turns out I have some random virus and will be fine; however, I will be missing karaoke YET AGAIN this week (and that was after taking off the past 2 weeks). You can imagine my frustration. AND..my friends are having a BBQ that I have been looking forward to since I got the Facebook invite more than a month ago. All I wanted to do was play volleyball all day and now I will be doing nothing of the sort. So pissed!

So what's the moral of this story? No matter how nice of a person you are, you are still prone to unfortunate events and bad timing in general. I know, I know. This isn't fair and you more than likely feel angry and hurt when situations like this make their way into your life. I say to just shake them off. You can't help how sick you get...unless you are actively not taking care of yourself, eating like crap and doing some sort of crazy drugs that will lead you down this path. These things happen. All you can do is get better and hope that you don't get sick again for a very, very long time.

Thoughts, comments, suggestions? I'm all ears everyone.

I Want It All

Sounds greedy, right? Or it sounds like an AWESOME Queen song. It turns out I'm referring to none of the above. Shocking, I'm sure. Being that I'm not the greedy type, in the least, it may come as a surprise that I would write a blog like this; however, someone recently said something to me that sparked my interest (or disgust) and I am feeling the need to write about it.

Ever since becoming single, I have had the esteemed pleasure of attempting to date, meet people, be a normal 26 year old woman. To my own displeasure, this has not worked out in a big way (of course there has been some good randomness in there to keep me guessing, but nothing that would lead me away from writing this post). And for what reason?

I have people telling me all the time - Erin!! You're so much fun, so out-going, the life of the party, you love sports, you're sarcastic..blablabla. And then I have the same people telling me that I'm also intimidating, overwhelming, loud as hell and just all together quite the handful for the average male. Well. What is someone who is all of these things to do about this predicament?

You could tone it down a notch. Try playing the semi-reserved card so that you don't send men running scared when they see you out on the dance floor sweating like a fat kid at wrestling camp and playing the air guitar like Slash.

Enter me. How about no. Here's how I see it and I'm not saying this is the end all/be all of dating because I am not a poster child for success here...I am single. But why should I ever change the way I act in public, or in private for that matter, because it makes someone feel threatened, or afraid to approach me. If a guy is that much of a massive 'P' word...chances are it wouldn't have worked out anyway. As long as you're not being blatantly inappropriate (the subtle motor-boat is allowed in my world) then I see no reason to sensor anyone.

And so I ask: Who is right in this situation? Should we all give people a glimpse of what they're going to get if a date is to follow? Or show them the real thing so that by the time they take you home they're not having a heart attack when they see that you've brought rope and duck tape in case things get really wild and crazy? That's a joke..by the way. If you're going to bring rope, don't forget some sort of cloth. That shit burns.

Please share your thoughts. As always, I'm VERY interested.

Timing Really is Everything

With another fantastic weekend under my belt, which includes sleeping for about 12 hours last night, I am left confused as usual about my never-ending struggle with timing. Because I have chosen to make this blog as anonymous as possible so as not to offend anyone or 'blow up any spots' as the kids are staying these days, this post is going to be a bit difficult, but I will make it work.

Have you ever been interested in someone...I would say moderately interested (nothing serious) and things seem to be going completely fine and then it's as if a rug gets pulled from underneath your legs? That's a bit dramatic, but it's really just to try and put the situation into perspective. So let me be a bit more specific. You have hung out a couple of times, talk, text, whatever...on a regular basis, eventually hook up (nothing crazy) and then they fall off the face of the earth. Weird, right? I'm aware.

But then, clear out of the blue, someone else who did the exact same thing say 2-3 months ago- showed interest, maybe you even hooked up, but never heard a thing- at that exact moment that you have semi-met someone interesting - that other person miraculously pops him/herself back into your life with zero explanation.

Now, none of these above-mentioned situations are ground-breaking. Christ, at this point in my life, it would take a very high-level magnitude earthquake to be considered ground-breaking with the way my love life has panned out to date; however, it did make me think about how wise the man/woman who first said 'Timing is everything." If I cared enough, maybe I would look that up for all of my readers so that we could give credit where credit is due...but I won't.

I will ask that you share with me an instance in your life that seemed like it could be fun, exciting, new...whatever, and it didn't work out because of timing. Maybe you were moving in a week and had just met who seemed to be the man of your dreams. Or, you find the love of your life and you've already been married for 6 years. These things happen on a regular basis and what are we to do?

So help me out. I know what I do....but what about you?

I'm interested in knowing...so please find the time to tell me ;)

Blue Balls, I'd like you to meet the female reproductive system.

As I mention from time to time, Blindfolded is not always directly related to my personal life - and for good reason. It's not that interesting. However, I recently decided that there is a topic that I have yet to address, not only on this blog, but in life in general and that is the idea of blue balls for women. Now, clearly that needs some fine-tuning. Which is why I went to my always reliable Facebook friends to get some insight into what I am about to say, but I would like to take a moment to explain my thinking.

Blue balls. Everyone knows what this is when referencing the male sex, right? Since this blog is about to be as blunt as it can be, let's just say for argument sake that this is when girls (we will call them teases) butter up a guy and then leave him hanging before he gets to fully enjoy himself. Enter blue balls. Being that I am a female, I can't imagine what this feels like...but then I take that back. You see, women actually experience the same level of frustration, and very often I might add, only we do not have a protruding body part to peg the feeling to. Ooooooo No. That's all on the inside...making it even worse.

This may bother some of my readers...hell...this post may very well turn you off of my blog, but this is a serious issue. Say you are hanging out with someone you're really interested in...not even dating. And you go through the exact same motions as I mentioned above...the guy gets you all excited, rubs your back, does the cuddling thing, and even some other crazy moves I don't even know about...and then he pulls the move. This can actually be one of two moves. 1. He very non-challantly puts his hand on your head and slowly but surely gives you the signal that he's ready for you to take it downstairs. 2. He either gets on top or pulls you on top because he's feeling like taking the night off. All legit, right? Hmmm. I'm gonna go with no (at least 60% of the time:).

Here's the problem...and I really do want feedback on this because it happens ALL THE TIME. How often is the giving and receiving of...hmmm...this is awkward...I'll call it coloring so as not to make this a really naughty post. How often is the giving and receiving of coloring a two way street? Sure..there are people who exist out there...hell...maybe even couples...who really want the other to be as satisfied as he/she is. But what about the other 95% (generous) of people out there? Where do they fall in?

I'll tell you where - into the same category as all of those girls out there who have ever left a guy hanging with blue balls (seriously...no pun intended). And after polling Facebook, we will dub the female version of blue balls as 'purple puss.' Sounds awful, right? That's because it is.

There were a whole slew of other fantastic recommendations for that name, but after long, hard consideration (try not to get aroused by those adjectives) I have chosen purple puss. And so I ask that we all start using this term in every day speak. It will catch on..maybe we can soon become a fan of it on Facebook, who knows? It could get WILD!

And so here is what I ask of this post. I would like you all to share with me your own personal experiences with these situations. Please feel free to be as detailed as you would like..within reason. I'm being 100% honest in this post and I will always ask that you all do the same.

For comedic value, and a possible future polling, I will post the other suggestions for 'purple puss':

Moldy Mitten
Angry Beaver
/juice Box / Full Juice Box
Blueberry Pie
Slippery Snatch
Moist Muff
Crazy Clit
Thirsty Twat
Voracious Vulva
Marriage
Tenacious twat
Hot pocket
Squirrel
Hair pie
Fur
Blueberry pop tart
Jaeger bomb

I look forward to what I hope to read in the morning. Night Night all.