As I mention from time to time, Blindfolded is not always directly related to my personal life - and for good reason. It's not that interesting. However, I recently decided that there is a topic that I have yet to address, not only on this blog, but in life in general and that is the idea of blue balls for women. Now, clearly that needs some fine-tuning. Which is why I went to my always reliable Facebook friends to get some insight into what I am about to say, but I would like to take a moment to explain my thinking.
Blue balls. Everyone knows what this is when referencing the male sex, right? Since this blog is about to be as blunt as it can be, let's just say for argument sake that this is when girls (we will call them teases) butter up a guy and then leave him hanging before he gets to fully enjoy himself. Enter blue balls. Being that I am a female, I can't imagine what this feels like...but then I take that back. You see, women actually experience the same level of frustration, and very often I might add, only we do not have a protruding body part to peg the feeling to. Ooooooo No. That's all on the inside...making it even worse.
This may bother some of my readers...hell...this post may very well turn you off of my blog, but this is a serious issue. Say you are hanging out with someone you're really interested in...not even dating. And you go through the exact same motions as I mentioned above...the guy gets you all excited, rubs your back, does the cuddling thing, and even some other crazy moves I don't even know about...and then he pulls the move. This can actually be one of two moves. 1. He very non-challantly puts his hand on your head and slowly but surely gives you the signal that he's ready for you to take it downstairs. 2. He either gets on top or pulls you on top because he's feeling like taking the night off. All legit, right? Hmmm. I'm gonna go with no (at least 60% of the time:).
Here's the problem...and I really do want feedback on this because it happens ALL THE TIME. How often is the giving and receiving of...hmmm...this is awkward...I'll call it coloring so as not to make this a really naughty post. How often is the giving and receiving of coloring a two way street? Sure..there are people who exist out there...hell...maybe even couples...who really want the other to be as satisfied as he/she is. But what about the other 95% (generous) of people out there? Where do they fall in?
I'll tell you where - into the same category as all of those girls out there who have ever left a guy hanging with blue balls (seriously...no pun intended). And after polling Facebook, we will dub the female version of blue balls as 'purple puss.' Sounds awful, right? That's because it is.
There were a whole slew of other fantastic recommendations for that name, but after long, hard consideration (try not to get aroused by those adjectives) I have chosen purple puss. And so I ask that we all start using this term in every day speak. It will catch on..maybe we can soon become a fan of it on Facebook, who knows? It could get WILD!
And so here is what I ask of this post. I would like you all to share with me your own personal experiences with these situations. Please feel free to be as detailed as you would like..within reason. I'm being 100% honest in this post and I will always ask that you all do the same.
For comedic value, and a possible future polling, I will post the other suggestions for 'purple puss':
Moldy Mitten
Angry Beaver
/juice Box / Full Juice Box
Blueberry Pie
Slippery Snatch
Moist Muff
Crazy Clit
Thirsty Twat
Voracious Vulva
Marriage
Tenacious twat
Hot pocket
Squirrel
Hair pie
Fur
Blueberry pop tart
Jaeger bomb
I look forward to what I hope to read in the morning. Night Night all.
how about the "lack of thunder down under?"
ReplyDeletegirls actually achieve orgasm? wow. who knew?
I really liked "hot pocket." Purple Puss sounds so gross. Not that this situation isn't AWFUL, but the puss thing is just too much haha. Brilliant blog, guys have no idea what we go through with this! So selfish fellas...lol
ReplyDeleteI'm really sorry to hear about your "friend's" plight. I think I might have an interesting perspective from what I've learned here. For any type of relationship to work, give and take are necessary elements. Would you let your co-worker repeatedly take your work, slap their name on it, and submit it to senior management only to receive accolades? I think not. So why would you let this happen while "coloring". You're allowing your co-colorer to borrow your crayons, draw a beautiful, sometimes mind-blowing picture on your paper, show it to you, tease you a little with it, and then bounce.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to flip the switch and regain mind control without being obvious then I have a tip for you. I only know this because I've fallen victim to this on a few occasions and was a very willing victim at that. So once you get your man hot and ready, just before you anticipate the move being pulled, pull him close and tell him what you want him to do to you. I fall for it every time. If it's in your nature, be hot, nasty and graphic. If it's not the just be suggestive. It can work either way. You'll be without a purple puss, hot pocket or any of the other names you have for it. I'm sure your partner will be so hot for you that he'll do a good job and you'll want to even the score. What's better in a game of coloring than I tie score in the end.
~Anonymous
I like your comments, Anonymous, but not so anonymous. Thanks for the perspective. I'm hoping to take this idea and write a book eventually...being that I have quiet the experience with this. I'll keep everyone posted on that as it develops. Thanks for commenting.
ReplyDelete