Blue Balls, I'd like you to meet the female reproductive system.

As I mention from time to time, Blindfolded is not always directly related to my personal life - and for good reason. It's not that interesting. However, I recently decided that there is a topic that I have yet to address, not only on this blog, but in life in general and that is the idea of blue balls for women. Now, clearly that needs some fine-tuning. Which is why I went to my always reliable Facebook friends to get some insight into what I am about to say, but I would like to take a moment to explain my thinking.

Blue balls. Everyone knows what this is when referencing the male sex, right? Since this blog is about to be as blunt as it can be, let's just say for argument sake that this is when girls (we will call them teases) butter up a guy and then leave him hanging before he gets to fully enjoy himself. Enter blue balls. Being that I am a female, I can't imagine what this feels like...but then I take that back. You see, women actually experience the same level of frustration, and very often I might add, only we do not have a protruding body part to peg the feeling to. Ooooooo No. That's all on the inside...making it even worse.

This may bother some of my readers...hell...this post may very well turn you off of my blog, but this is a serious issue. Say you are hanging out with someone you're really interested in...not even dating. And you go through the exact same motions as I mentioned above...the guy gets you all excited, rubs your back, does the cuddling thing, and even some other crazy moves I don't even know about...and then he pulls the move. This can actually be one of two moves. 1. He very non-challantly puts his hand on your head and slowly but surely gives you the signal that he's ready for you to take it downstairs. 2. He either gets on top or pulls you on top because he's feeling like taking the night off. All legit, right? Hmmm. I'm gonna go with no (at least 60% of the time:).

Here's the problem...and I really do want feedback on this because it happens ALL THE TIME. How often is the giving and receiving of...hmmm...this is awkward...I'll call it coloring so as not to make this a really naughty post. How often is the giving and receiving of coloring a two way street? Sure..there are people who exist out there...hell...maybe even couples...who really want the other to be as satisfied as he/she is. But what about the other 95% (generous) of people out there? Where do they fall in?

I'll tell you where - into the same category as all of those girls out there who have ever left a guy hanging with blue balls (seriously...no pun intended). And after polling Facebook, we will dub the female version of blue balls as 'purple puss.' Sounds awful, right? That's because it is.

There were a whole slew of other fantastic recommendations for that name, but after long, hard consideration (try not to get aroused by those adjectives) I have chosen purple puss. And so I ask that we all start using this term in every day speak. It will catch on..maybe we can soon become a fan of it on Facebook, who knows? It could get WILD!

And so here is what I ask of this post. I would like you all to share with me your own personal experiences with these situations. Please feel free to be as detailed as you would like..within reason. I'm being 100% honest in this post and I will always ask that you all do the same.

For comedic value, and a possible future polling, I will post the other suggestions for 'purple puss':

Moldy Mitten
Angry Beaver
/juice Box / Full Juice Box
Blueberry Pie
Slippery Snatch
Moist Muff
Crazy Clit
Thirsty Twat
Voracious Vulva
Marriage
Tenacious twat
Hot pocket
Squirrel
Hair pie
Fur
Blueberry pop tart
Jaeger bomb

I look forward to what I hope to read in the morning. Night Night all.

When Former Friends Struggle to Be Acquaintances

Speaking of struggling, I seem to have a hard time believing that these types of situations can't work out for the best...or better for that matter. This same topic can be applied to former boyfriend/girlfriends, but I find it much more interesting in this very second to focus specifically on former friends.

Rather than sugar coating this and making up a hypothetical situation that very closely parallels the real-life situation that is the sheer inspiration for this post, I will just come out and say it (with no names of course).

Back in the day (Erin at 4 years old) I became friends with these two girls...turns out they're twins. Great. So we become great friends and fast-forward to high school. There were a couple of periods of falling out of friendship - almost entirely because they wanted to be friends with people in the class above us because they thought that would make them more popular...and then when those people got sick of them, they would always come crawling back to me and my group of friends. Any time I would have people over, they would conveniently come over after seeing all of the cars parked outside my house. Whatever. This happened a series of times and then we all went away to college.

Didn't really keep in touch in college, but when we would all be home on breaks, they made it a strong point to ask really random questions like- well what was your GPA? Who the shit cares what my GPA was? Not me...that's who. Needless to say...I have not been real friends with them for some time.

Now fast-forward to Facebook. I held off on the Facebook movement for quite some time. But, as most people do, I fell head first into Facebook and really use it for pictures more than anything else. I don't really look for people to be friends with...or care how many friends I have for that matter, but it's a lot of fun to keep in touch and see what people are up to who I normally wouldn't have the faintest idea about.

Being that I don't care how many friends I have on Facebook, I can say with 100% honesty that I don't always accept friend requests. This could be for any number of reasons. I find it creepy that people who I don't know or never really knew that well are interested in seeing what I'm up to when I haven't spoken to them..well..ever. And then there's the case of these two girls. The one friended me one time and I ignored it and she left it at that. Apparently the other is slightly looney.

At this point in time she has friended me 7 times on Facebook. And no...you did not read that incorrectly. 7 TIMES! PLUS...she has brought this up to my friends when she is at parties with them when I'm not there...making a huge deal out of it. Now, I know this has been a long post, so let me just recap..I have not spoken to these girls in years. They have never meant well and were never good friends to begin with. Always talking badly about people...you get the point. Why on earth would I want them to know what I'm up to? Of course the one girl thinks I hate her...and I really don't. I don't want to be friends with her though. Is there a way to do that?

The first time she see's me after me having ignored her friend requests for months she interrupts a phone conversation to be like - Hey Erin...are you ever going to friend me on Facebook? I proceed to just laugh and be like.. well I guess not. She then calls me psycho. Yeah. This is who I want to be friends with.

Well I literally have explained to people who find this story interesting that while I don't hate either of these girls...that I have no interest in them knowing anything about what's going on in my life. If they want to know something..well then speak to me like a normal human being- like we used to have to before there were stalker sites like Facebook.

To conclude, I just ran into this whole family at the supermarket and the mother and other sister (there are 3 sisters total)...we will call her the non-twin...both say hello while the other two do not. I said hello to everyone. And that is my case in point.

While I do not find it difficult to have many acquaintances in life, if you are genuinely not a nice person...this will be quite the struggle.

Sorry for the rant. I had to get it all out though. Happy Sunday!

Impressions VS. Impressing

While both of these appear to be the same word, albeit the last couple of letters, they are in fact very different. I was recently hanging out with some new and old friends...always a nice mix...and the whole idea of first impressions was brought up. What happened was, I was at my house with a couple of people.. some who knew my parents.. some who didn't. At one point my father walks out onto the porch and says hello. Greetings are exchanged and some one says something to him like - oh..you have to impress the old lady (meaning my mother). He proceeds to say...yeah.. after 30 years I really need to impress her (insert sarcastic facial expression here).

Anyway, while this thought pissed me off momentarily...It helped me to tap into a very common misunderstanding. People often say that first impressions are everything. But when all is said and done, how often are you yourself when you're making a first impression? If I had to venture a guess I would say 60% of the time every time (sorry...that was too easy). Why is this?

Me personally, I don't think I have an off button...period. I have more energy than most third world countries...but that is neither here nor there. My advice to you...do not sugar coat yourself upon first meeting people. You have to believe that people genuinely want to get to know other people. That becomes increasingly difficult as you get older but you have to maintain a positive outlook.

And now...in order to tie this into the grand theme of this blog, we have to talk about impressing. Again...while these are pretty much the same word.. it's amazing how completely different they are.

I'm going to make this very easy.

Impression= the real you (one would hope) with no BS.
Impressing= Often times playing the part of who you think the person you're meeting would want to meet and therefore acting like someone completely opposite of you.

And here is the moral of this story...and this is completely original here:

"Rather than wasting your time impressing people, make it a point to make a good impression."

The Awkward Run-In

My rare outing on a Wednesday night has enlightened me to a point, but moreso allowed me to ask my valued readers a very important question. What is the appropriate strategy or game plan even when you are out with a friend or a couple of friends and some one comes up to your table who you would not, in a million years, be interested in speaking to...but you know that you know them or know that they know that you know them?

It's a tough situation...and I'm sure the confusing nature of that last sentence didn't help much either, but seriously? Talk about an awkward situation, right? Well what do we do in these situations? I always try my hardest to engage them in conversation. I'm not interested in anything they're saying...and that's just me being honest. If I was interested, maybe we would have been friendly in high school back when I knew you. Being that that was almost 10 years ago at this point..yeah...I have no interest in anything you're saying to me right now. But I'm gonna go ahead and think that this is an OK situation in which one can be fake and it's socially acceptable. Am I wrong?

How do we approach these people? And then....to add more fuel to the fire...what is the deal with these non-friends always inviting people that you actually DON'T know from a homeless person on the streets of DC to sit down at your table. PLUS...this person has a question mark tatoo on his neck!! What the hell am I supposed to say to this guy? Not a clue.

If you have any suggestions, I would love to hear them. Clearly this is not one of my favorite positions to be in, but I do like to be prepared at all times.

Thanks for the help.

And So She Asked Him

Since I've started this blog, I have received my fair share of dating advice (mostly from my mother but that's why I love her) and I have come to certain conclusions of my own. I'm going to make this short and sweet because I think my posts can be lengthy and let's face it -- people are lazy nowadays and won't read something once they have to scroll down.

And here you go. My lessons learned up until this point in Blindfolded.

1. Blind dates are awesome. Whether they go horribly wrong or show signs of a match made in heaven - they are awesome. I have no experience of the latter but I'm assuming that that's a good thing.

2. Men are just as afraid, if not more afraid, of rejection as women. This is fact, not fiction here, people. How can you expect to meet that special someone if you're afraid...of anything. Suck it up.

3. Guys need a hell of a lot more alcohol to loosen up. Again...fact, not fiction. Who are the drunkest at weddings? Guys. That could be for any number or reasons. Open bar is the greatest thing since dry humping and because marriage scares the shit out of them. Either way...they need shots, beer, jaeger bombs, and more beer. That combination = a good time at the wedding.

4. Us girls need to suck it up and ask whoever they're interested in out themselves. I mean who really cares if he doesn't respond? Who cares if you go out and it turns out you have nothing in common? Like I said in #1 -- it's going to be either an awesome time or an awesome story.

And there you have it. Those are my lessons learned up until this point. So I have to ask the guys who read along...what would you think if a girl asked you out for a drink? And girls...would you ever do this or is that too unconventional for you?

I'm always interested. And that's the truth.

My First Run-In With a Hater

I know this will come as a shock to all of my readers out there, but last night was a first for me and I felt the need to share it with the world (eehh hemmm...my loyal listeners). Last night I decided to take it easy. I had made plans with a friend to go to a nice little restaurant bar on the water and then some other people were meeting up later. Sounds simple enough, right?

Well then came the after party (after party is a little strong but it's just for dramatic effect). My friend wanted to stop by another restaurant bar right down the road to visit with her brother, sister and friends who had gathered for her brother's birthday. Sounds harmless PLUS I hadn't seen her brother or sister in so long that I thought it would be nice to see what they were up to.

Upon first entering the spot they had claimed outside in the corner, the only word that comes to mind is AWKWARD! Just to help everyone visualize this, there were probably 8 people there...6 of which were people I knew and maybe 3 were people who I knew better than others. 1 was a girl I played field hockey with in college and she was the one who broke the ice (thanks so much). Only it wasn't sincere in the least, but she was the least of the problem.

At one point I looked down to my right to see this girl who I went to high school with and she is just texting away. Doesn't look up once to say hello, but that's fine. I mean at this point, no one really said hello so it's not like she was the only one going out of her way to be rude. So I think nothing of it and my friend and I decide that we're just going to leave. This hang out is going nowhere- clearly. So we walk to my car and my friend proceeds to tell me that her brother had been texting her saying how much this girl (text girl with the head down the entire time) hates me so much. Of course my first reaction to this news is laughter. I mean what else can you do at this point?

Some girl still hates me from high school? WOW. For what reason? I have no clue. I will not begin to explain the type of person I was in high school because I am the same person today only slightly more physically fit and funny (and that's because my guy friends really gave me hell for the longest time for not being able to tell a joke...so I've worked on it). But seriously, what could I have possibly done in HIGH SCHOOL (yeah...I didn't studder and yes that's 8 YEARS AGO) that still has this girl hating me?

No clue, but as a wise lizard once said, "Not my chair...not my problem."

Enjoy and have a great weekend!

You Might Want to Keep That to Yourself

I realize that I recently wrote about how I semi-believe that honesty is the best policy. As my mother (ie my biggest fan) pointed out, there are certain exceptions to this rule and while she was more than likely referring to the fact that my louder than ever and slightly overwhelming personality can be...well..overwhelming upon first meeting - I am going to take this post down another road.

Have you ever been involved in what you perceive to be a very simple, low-key conversation with someone who you don't know particularly well but who seems to be pretty interesting so you try to get to know them a little better? And yes, I realize that was a long sentence. I'm okay with that. Well I recently embarked on this journey - without even realizing it - when I asked someone what it was that had created such a fantastic mood for her. She responds by looking down at a printed picture she has of her boyfriend (or what have you) and just awwwwing. I respond by saying, "I thought you never really got to see him...how does that work?" Enter pseudo angry person.

"Well what the F does that matter? People who are married F'n hate each other and never want to see each other anyway so what does that matter?"

At this point I'm thinking, "WOW. Not really expecting that kind of reaction so I think I'll get the hell out of here."

How are you expected to be able to hold a reasonable conversation with another human being with that kind of attitude? Here's how - you're not. The entire act of 'jumping down someone's throat' should be eliminated from all activity. There must be.. scratch that..there always is a way to show enough respect for someone where they are not at a loss of words after you utter a mere sentence or two.

So what's the moral today? Try to relax a little bit. Chances are - lightening up will feel pretty fantastic.

Have a good one.

How Would You Describe Confidence?

To be honest, this is the best example I can think of off the top of my head and to be honest...I think this is a great example of confidence. Good for her though. You go girl.

Regardless, I am truly interested in this topic. I am certainly the case study for someone who appears to be extremely confident but who has some minor/major set backs and head case-type situations that are questionable. That's neither here nor there...this is about YOU. My loyal readers (I hope).

In your opinion, what is your idea of confidence? You can certainly take the personal road on this and tell me what makes you feel the most confident. For me, this is easy. Any social environment. That's cute, right? No, but seriously I really do just like being out and about. Case in point: Live Band Karaoke on Thursday nights at The Downtown. I don't even sing and I have the best time of my life every time I go (which has turned into every Thursday if any of you readers want to join me this Thursday. I'll be there). Between the non-stop air guitar and the non-stop rock and roll music...it doesn't get better than that. But that's just for me.

What about you? Are you the type of girl who enjoys dancing around in your underwear in your room when no one is home? If so, you should get this checked out because if you're over the age of 12 (and that's generous) that's just weird. Completely joking. Rock it out.

And guys? Do you feel like the man when you go to the gym in your wifebeaters and your new haircuts and dead lift over 400 pounds? That sounds awesome right? If that's your thing, then great. That's terrific. I always encourage people to do what makes him/her happy. However, if you take the time to watch that clip I would just like to make one comment: if anyone ever spoke to me like this I would have some serious words to say to him. And I promise it would be worth hearing.

Help me get to you know you better..and maybe even yourself in the process (moderately corny--> yes. Am I worried about it --> no. And that's confidence.

Goodnight all :)