Can Things Really Be Casual?

After a couple of radio shows and conversations today, I felt the need to write this down. I'm sure everyone can assume what I'm referring to here in this title, so I will not go into much detail; however, I did come across an interesting article (well I don't know how interesting the entire article is because it was way too long to read the entire thing and I was able to get everything I needed out of the Tracey Cox video) that caused me to continue to think about this: is it possible to have successful casual relations (whatever those may be- again...I am not implying anything here) with someone in your life?

According to Ms. Cox, as long as you are both of the right mindset, this is actually a fantastic idea...which is why I have dubbed her my new best friend (clearly kidding). Seriously though, I wonder about this all the time because I have never partaken in this type of behavior, but I think at some point in everyone's life- you need something...or are just trying to shake things up for the sake of shaking them up. So is this the solution?

I'm not sure, but it's definitely worth some looking into :)

Enjoy your evening and please let me know what you think. I'll accept any case studies or success stories that you might be able to share. Thanks!

You Think Who's a Loser?

Not so sure where I'm going with that title, but I'm feeling it so it's gonna stay like that.

A friend of mine recently sent me this great article she read on CNN and I'm pretty sure (I would say 83% sure) that she wanted me to disagree with the article, but I am going to have to not.

Take a peek. According to this article, women typically will consider a man/guy she is dating/sleeping with/having relations with...whatever... a loser if he does not live up to her 'standards.' Her idea of the 'perfect man' or the 'really really good listener.' As this guy plainly put it, the truth of the matter is that these types of girls are losers as well.

Here's the way I see it. If a guy and a girl are not into each other or go on a couple of dates and one or both of them realize that it's not going to work out or they're just not interested..that's just okay. End of story. There really is no reason for all of the hate or whatever goes on when people date and can't be friends. I mean that's not to say that it might take a little while -- but the name calling and saying horrible things when you run into their friends? Come on now...who's the loser now with that BS? That's just silly.

But to bring it back to the article, it really is hysterical that girls...or even guys because we can't just make this one sided even though it is clearly more often than not that girls are the ones with these types of issues...believe that there is someone out there that will fulfill all of their fantasies when it comes to being the perfect mate. And who wants that anyway? I find that I get along with a ton of people who I don't really have a lot in common with. I think that's what makes it interesting....or keeps it interesting...whichever way you want to look at it.

So the moral of this story? Lighten up. Everyone is a loser in his/her own rite...and I'm just gonna go ahead and say this: That's what makes them awesome.

Stay classy.

What's the Right Thing to Say?

After several weeks have gone by and zero blind dates or even just regular dates have not occurred, I figured I would write something in search of some answers. I had a good conversation with a friend today about the appropriate way to approach someone while out for a night of fun. I explained that the only thing that happened over the weekend in terms of meeting guys was that some guy said to me (while I was at a bachelorette party) "Damn girl...you look good!" Very nice...just not my thing.

So my friend asks- what would have been the right thing to say in that situation? You look good...can I buy you a drink? And the answer is...as always...that I don't know the answer. Here's the thing- I like to write about this sort of thing, but being the single 26-year-old that I am- I clearly don't know the first thing about successfully meeting people out at a bar. I do know what my problem is though..

Despite popular belief, I am more on the shy side when it comes to approaching people when I'm out. I think, just like everyone else- guys and girls the same- I'm afraid of being rejected. This of course makes no sense because what should I care what a complete stranger thinks of me? The truth is everyone cares- for the most part. For the sake of arguing we will say that everyone cares. And when it comes down to it, guys and girls are just as afraid of being rejected. This of course has a couple of exceptions. One large one being those people who have no doubt that what they are about to say is in no way, shape or form going to have a positive outcome- but they say it anyway. At the end of the day I like these people. Even though there are times when they whistle and make very unnecessary remarks- there is a small portion of me that really enjoys their sense of confidence. I hope to establish that level of confidence some day. It's going really well. Right.

But in all honesty- what would be the right way to approach someone out at a bar? You figure- you can't hear much as it is- so you can't have a full blown conversation- so what's the first step. I'm thinking the- I wanna buy you a drink. Not in a T-Pain kinda way, but in a- I just want to buy you a drink. Or even a little more friendly- Hey...how's it going...can I get you a drink? And then you start talking from there. Best case scenario, you end up dancing, getting a little crazy and who knows from there. I leave that up to my loyal readers to fill in because let's face it...we all want different things at that point.

I really am curious though- I know you have all attempted to talk to the opposite sex, or the same sex for that matter- and you are so afraid of being shot down that you more than likely never go up to them at all. I'm encouraging myself to make this dirty habit a part of my past and make more of a valiant effort to talk to people when I go out. I figure it can't hurt and I have reached a point where I don't care AS much what people think of me- in terms of strangers- so what do I have to lose?

Any thoughts? I sure hope so because I'm relying on you guys to help me out here.

Talk soon.

Bulletproof? Not so much.

As most of you know, I do a TON of driving every day. To and from work adds up to about 100 miles and so that gives me lots and lots of time to listen to the radio and/or CDs that Jaimie burns for me. As it turns out, I have been listening to Taylor Swift a lot lately and despite what you think about her, I have to say, this 18 year old has been through some serious s$%t for what she sings about. I commend her for her honesty and wanted to bring to light one of my favorite songs: Tell Me Why from the new CD Fearless.

At the beginning of the song she says, "You might think I'm bulletproof, but I'm not." This got me thinking about something completely different than what she is actually singing about- which is boys, of course because apparently at 18 and you sing country music, you have one of two things to sing about- rain and love. It's weird but that's the conclusion that I've drawn. So anyway, this got me thinking that there are a ton of perceptions out there about certain people, I use myself as an example because this is my blog, and it's just funny because I think 9 times out of 10 they are misconceptions.

People probably see my loud, ok..very loud mouth, over-excited personality that is overkill for surrounding audiences most of the time and think...wow- she must really have her shit together, be really confident and/or she's just really really ridiculously annoying. Yeah...no. I'm actually super self-conscious in a lot of situations and have had little to no success in the dating world - to bring this back to Taylor's idea of the important part of life - and it just makes me wonder (side note: if I REALLY wanted to sound like Carrie Bradshaw right there, I could have by saying- 'I couldn't help but wonder...' but I didn't and I'm very proud of that): why don't people take more time getting to know people before the 'jump' to conclusions?

Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure I do this all the time. I do happen to think that I'm relatively good at reading people, but I get things wrong all the time. And girls are NOTORIOUS for assuming things. Chances are, if a girl walks into a bar and you are out with some of your guy friends you immediately check her out and pray that whatever you have on looks better than what she has working..because if not - that won't work for you and you hate her. It's unfortunately the truth. Girls are bitches and I'll be the first to admit that...about other girls. Not myself of course :)

I truly believe that everyone would get along a hell of a lot better if they asked more questions and actually took the time to get to know people for who they really are- rather than who they think they are. I'm pretty sure that I've made a lot of friends this way. I mean there's this guy I work with - no names of course - and he is, compared to me, on the quiet side. Well..instead of pinpointing him as a complete shy guy who brings little if anything at all to the table, I remained open minded and come to find out..he's really funny. Who knew?

So there's my two sense (cents- you decide on that one) on that. I'd love to know what you think and if you have ever been a victim of these assumptions...because you know what people say about assumptions, right? It makes an ass out of you and mptions. Got that?

Goodnight :)

Chicago: Land of Heavenly Meals

After just returning from my 3rd or 4th trip to Chicago, I have noticed one or two things. The most important of these being that this city has the best food I have ever had the opportunity of eating. I mean every corner you turn down there are just tons of great places to eat and I'll tell you what- no one likes to eat as much as I do (and my stomach can attest to that after this weekend). But seriously, we went to this fantastic place for lunch called Lux Bar and drank our faces off to some heavenly mojitos and bloody maries; neither of which seemed like a great idea when we went out later on that same day...but it sure was fun at the time.

So this brief post is simply dedicated to all of the fantastic restaurants that make up this city. Over the weekend I visited Harry Carey's- which is right outside of Wrigley Field. FYI- it has been my dream to go to Wrigley Field and even though I still haven't gotten inside- I have to say that the stadium itself is worth taking a look at- even from the outside. Anyway- this place: FANTASTIC burgers. In fact, they had one of my favorites- a Burger Bar. This is where you have the opportunity to select every aspect of your burger. Brilliant. And Blue Moon for only $3.50!! Can't beat that!

And finally, we had a lovely birthday dinner at Coast. Not only was the sushi here delicious- but the service was absolutely stellar as well. And...to top it off..this was the scene of what will go down as the greatest birthday cake of all time. For that, I would like to give a huge shout out to Bill- Victoria's husband. You done good.

If anyone has the opportunity to visit Chicago- I highly recommend all of these places- in addition to any other place you might come across while on your way through the lovely city.

Good night!

What's the deal with Eye Contact?

After my first ever salsa lesson I think I have figured out one of my biggest problems when it comes to the opposite sex: eye contact. The entire time during my lesson, my instructor, Julio, kept asking me if I liked his shoes because I was constantly looking down. If anyone knows me, they know that I do not look down when I dance..if anything I look straight ahead, into the crowd, or at the ceiling- for whatever reason. I decided last night that the reason that I had a hard time with the turns in salsa was because I had to be right up against Julio and I wasn't comfortable with that. I mean I did just meet him a hot second ago. But we would do the turn and I would take a step back and I was supposed to take a step toward him.



Which is when I had my epiphany...Eye contact is at the root of all of my problems. I have an EXTREMELY hard time looking guys in the eye. I mean there is so much to be interpreted, either correctly or more than likely incorrectly (hence the term mixed signals, missleading, etc.) and who wants to be put in that situation? Not me. But here's the thing...why is it this way? Why is it that looking someone straight in the eyes is so difficult?



Here's what I think. Please feel free to disagree or agree..if you feel so inclined. I think there is so much natural sexual tension between the ladies and the gentleman that eye contact just intensifies that sexual tension even more so and it's really hard to avoid that feeling- at least for me. Now, please do not mistake that statement for meaning that every guy I look in eyes...or don't...that I'm experiencing a serious case of ST. That's not it. It's hard to identify the exact moments that this happens, but I just know that last night at salsa, I did not want to look at Julio for fear that he thought I would want to be more than his one-time student after those rates he showed me (almost $400 for just 5 LESSONS!!! SERIOUSLY?!!?!?). It's almost as if looking someone in the eyes means that you're flirting with them and I don't know why that is? Maybe it's that everyone is always looking for someone to be interested in him/her. Or maybe everyone is just really horny...who knows? All I know is that this is something that I seriously need to work on and I'm up for suggestions on how to overcome this horrible phobia of eye contact.



Before I sign off to go watch Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist and eat mounds of Ben & Jerry's ice cream, I would like to add that this particular 'problem' could be due to the fact that for me, a guy's eye color is the first thing I notice and usually the most attractive feature on that person....for me. It's a personal preference and it's kind of a big deal (not really but that just felt right).



Anyway....help me out!! And thanks for reading.

Tweens + 26 Year Old = WOW

After one of the greatest weekends in my young adult life, I have a hell of a lot to say about the youth in America right now. Or as I will refer to them from this point forward -- Tweens. These are kids between the age of I guess 13-16..to be honest with you I don't really know what the specific age is for this category but these kids are who I was most exposed to this past Saturday and Sunday and boy did they open my eyes to a whole helluva lot.

First off- and on a completely separate note- I have to say a huge CONGRATULATIONS to the newlyweds- Mr. and Mrs. Kevin Keller. They are currently on their honeymoon in Antigua but their wedding will go down as one of the greatest days (2 days) of my life and I am just beyond happy for them.

Alright- enough about that...my weekend continued with Lady Gaga on Saturday. Now I'm sure most of you who read this are thinking- what the hell were you doing going to see Lady Gaga. Well first of all- she's awesome. She might dress like she just fell from outerspace and then rolled around in some tripped out fairy tale, but she can sing, dance and play the piano with 4-inch stilettos. That's talent. Anyway- the concert was obviously filled with these little tweens. Little girls who will honestly try to push their 40 pound 4 foot off the ground bodies through massive towering objects like myself. I found this funny and frustrating all at the same time and contrary to popular belief- I don't start fights with people. If anything, I am very reserved and respectful of people who are blatantly ruining a concert that one of my great friends got me tickets for (THANKS AGAIN!)..but that's beside the point.

So we have established our standing room only space up against a balcony. Perfect view and I'm standing further back because I'm towering over the little tweens in front of me. Towering. But I'm not going to worry about it. I can see just fine. Well these little girls try to start pushing me out of the way and finally I had to say- Excuse me- is there a problem? And it went on until I called them silly. Real mean- I know, but seriously? This girl couldn't move me if she tried and she was legitimately starting a fight with me. It was funny...and short lived.

The night progressed with some other floosies who I can only assume were drunk who were falling all over me in my massiveness! I just can't believe how rude these people are. Good thing the concert was fantastic otherwise it would have been a complete wash. The night was complete with some great hangout time with a friend who up until this point I was convinced lived in a secret lair with nothing but honey wheat pretzels to snack on...and maybe a 6 pack of beer.

And now comes Bamboozle...in the rain. For those who are unaware- Bamboozle is an all day concert whose main target audience- not all, but mostly- are tweens. These are punk, pop, ska, rock, heavy metal bands who are either completely not mainstream, on the way to becoming mainstream, want to sort of not be mainstream but might become mainstream anyway, and then No Doubt. All in all, the bands we saw were awesome, but these kids...I mean I have never seen such filth!! People were yelling out things like- "If I had swine flu I would give it to you!!!" SEriously? I mean you would wish swine flu on a complete stranger? Weird. People were throwing clothing...and not just like jackets. I'm talking sweat pants, flip flops, sneakers, socks, stuffed animals...CDs...bodies... I mean this was a complete $hit show. And to top it off- it was pouring all day!!!

This left me very concerned with the youth in America these days and I just have to ask: What is going on with either parents nowadays or schools or something?!?!?! These kids legitimately have no morals, goals, ideas about not having sex until you're old enough to know what could happen...and all kinds of other things. I have never seen so many piercings in my life!!! Some kid had the back of his neck pierced! How can that be comfortable while you're sleeping?!?!? I mean it just makes no sense. I also saw some person holding up a sign that read: "Let's play a game. Guess my gender." Really? You took the time to make that sign? That's pathetic.

I think these kids need to lay off the drugs, stop having sex and stop saying things like I wish you had the swine flu. I think we would all be better off.

So I would love to hear what your thoughts are on this. How can we help these kids to not be such hot messes? It's scary and I'll tell ya- it was a real eye-opener.

Well have a good night. I'll write again tomorrow. I promise!