Honesty Honestly

Due to recent occurrences and/or me just noticing more about myself lately, I am feeling the need to address a topic that I'm sure the majority of people struggle with on a regular basis: honesty. The fact that this is something that people struggle with is a topic in and of itself...but for another time.

I'm sure this is more geared toward the ladies...being that we are more inclined to take offense or at the very least..express/feel emotions after someone says something to us that we may or may not agree with...but that is besides the point. That is more relatable to friendly relations anyhow...hanging out in small groups, shopping trips, slumber parties...whatever it is that people are doing nowadays that involves discussion and opinion of some sort. There is always the small chance of that one hint of honesty ruining the evening. But why? Why is it that everyone is so afraid of the truth?

You know what? I can't even say that I don't struggle with this on a regular basis. Anyone who knows me...or will after I say this...knows that I don't like diamonds. Never have. Never will. Well guess what that means? Every time one of my very good friends shows me her engagement ring, I'm not going to tell her that I don't like it because I don't like diamonds. That's very rude and I would never do that. Instead, I find happiness in the simple fact that she is getting married and her excitement excites me and that's what I love about the ring. I rarely love the ring (sorry ladies...I truly mean no offense when I say that).

But now bring this to the workplace. I can NEVER EVER EVER say what I really want to say at work to people who I think need to be put in their place...because I would be fired. But seriously...what the hell is wrong with some people? I swear some people wake up in the morning and say to themselves...how can I make 'insert the name of the person they like the least at their office''s day awful? You wanna hear a story? I once stopped on my way to work and bought bagels for my office. No big deal. I love that type of thing. I figure this is my way of helping people who may not be morning people...start their days off right. Super. So I get to work, send out an email saying that there are bagels in the kitchen and then I head upstairs to set everything up. As soon as I get up there (now keep in mind...this is well before 9AM) this woman walks into the kitchen. She says to me, "Erin..did anyone ever tell you that you're the nicest person ever?" I obviously just look up at her and say...thank you. Immediately following this very nice, and unnecessary compliment...the same woman proceeds to say (still before 9AM), "Now Erin...I have to tell you something. I hate to be a pain...but YOUR VOICE is SO LOUD. It carries ALL THE WAY DOWN THE HALLWAY. You REALLY need to keep it down."

Talk about honesty. My goodness. Here I just brought this lady breakfast and that's what I get? Of course...I do not have it in me to say something like, "You know what...my voice may be loud but at least whatever it is that's coming out of my mouth is positive in some way. You...on the other hand...may in fact be the most condescending person I have ever met. Try to keep your thoughts to yourself...unless you are capable of saying something nice. Thanks." See...I never said that...and I will always wish I did.

Whether you are in the work place or out with friends, you should always, always, always say how you really feel. Regardless of if it is something he/she actually wants to hear, if they are any type of friend or colleague, they will benefit from knowing the truth. Just to make myself COMPLETELY clear..this point only holds true if what you are being honest about is truly genuine. Otherwise, it is a moot point.

So let's hear it. How often are you honest with your friends? And when you're not...why weren't you?

Think about it and tell me tomorrow...Please.

Goodnight.

Such a Slap in the Face

I think the average person who knows me would say that I'm the happiest...or craziest person they know. Of course, I agree with this...for the most part at least. I would not classify my every day activities or behaviors as crazy. In fact, my mother just told me this morning that I'm 'high on life.' This was in reaction to two weeks of people at LBK asking me straight up if I'm on drugs. One time I didn't even know the person. Real nice.

Anyway, the slap in the face. Yes. Here's the thing. While I'm very happy...and have been for quite some time. Years in fact. But single life has made me happier than I ever thought I could be. There is just this one thing that's missing. Sex. Being single, at least for me, has been lacking sex on any sort of regular basis. Which is fine. I've been lacking consistent good sex for pretty much my entire life (ouch) but that's fine. The real kicker is this....

Every day I have a routine. I wake up, I make my bed and then I take a shower. After I get out of the shower and get dressed and what not, I go to my dresser and I take my trusty bc pill. If you can't figure out what that is, you're slow. And every morning when I take this 'precautionary' pill, I am reminded of the fact that I'M NOT EVEN HAVING SEX! And who needs that reminder every day?

It's bad enough that a couple of weeks ago...when I was in the Emergency Room twice in a three-day period...I had the idiots ask me to take yet another urine test after taking one 2 days prior and their reason being, "We need to confirm that you're not pregnant." I said (while in excruciating pain in my LUNGS).."Look. I am not taking another one of these tests. I did this 2 days ago and I can go right ahead and tell you that I'm NOT pregnant...so let's not talk about this anymore. " It was quite comical.

So I guess this is what I get for having nothing else to complain about for the most part. A reminder, every day, that while single life has been great...any sort of dry spell is not. At least I know that when things pick up again...hopefully soon...that I'll be prepared.

Lot of information in this post. I hope everyone can handle it. Enjoy the rain this weekend.

How 'That Guy' Can Ruin Your Night Out

Please do not take this as some angry, hate blog as that is never my intention with Blindfolded. I would rather this blog be used as some sort of insight-haven or rather a crap shoot for meaningful occurrences that happen in every day life. Tonight's activities can be summed up in two words: creepy men.

Why is it that they are more likely to come up to you at a bar than someone who you might actually be interested in speaking to and .....oh my....even possibly going out on a regular date with? What the shit is up with that? And these people aren't just regular creepy. They want to come up and hover over you while you're trying to have a normal conversation with friends. What kind of a first impression is that?

First off - you're being very rude interrupting a good conversation. Secondly, are you kidding me? Why, ON EARTH, would anyone in their right mind want to speak to someone who says (in a creepy, serial killer kind of voice), "I just wanna come over and say hello." And then awkwardly stand there after I politely say hello back and try my best not to say something along the lines of, "Are you kidding me right now, buddy? Do I seem uninterested? Because I am."

Fortunately for these lunatics, I don't have it in me to be rude to people. I'm not sure why, but it's just not one of my talents. My beautiful friend Nicole on the other hand...has and always will tell it like it is. So she says to this guy, "Hey. Could you not touch us or talk to us while we are here? We are trying to have a good time and you're really creeping us out." Gotta love the honesty.

And so I ask...as I always do...why is it that this type of man has no shame when going up to a girl who he knows 100% of the time she is going to either ignore him, try to ignore him or just get up and leave where he is now sitting and guys who know how to behave like normal human beings on a regular basis cannot seem to muster up the balls to communicate with females in a coherent fashion? As if that sentence was coherent.

Just think about that and please get back to me.

Goodnight!

Living Life to the Fullest

Tonight's entry was going to go in a completely different direction until my ride home just now. I spent a lovely, romantic evening with my friend Adrienne....walking along the beach and having a nice meal watching the sun go down at Dockside in Sea Bright. All very cute...I know. As we start our trip home, we decide...of course..to blast Kings of Leon. This is the 'all of a sudden they are the coolest band in the world so now Monaco doesn't like them as much' big summer band. Anywho...we are listening to their latest CD, 'Only By the Night.' Very good stuff.

So we're listening to my favorite song on the CD, 'Be Somebody' and I'm rocking out like the ship's about to go down...all while driving, yes. It's fine. When you have as much energy as I do, these things come very naturally. So I'm rocking out...singing into my always faithful cell phone microphone...when a Jeep pulls up to me and honks their horn. I can't look to the side to see who it is, so instead I continue my jam session. Adrienne looks over at me and says- was that Dan and Christina?? I look up at the Jeep that's now in front of me to see that it is in fact Dan and Christina. He had just taken her out to dinner for her birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS)...what a nice guy.

Well we pull into the jug handle to get onto Leonardville Road back to my house and I notice that I have a text message from Christina. I open it up to read, "HAHA Dan was just like look at that girl in front of us...she's rocking out. its probably Bijas." And it was!!!

How hysterical is that? I laughed the rest of the way home. When I got home to tell my mom that story the only thing that she could do (besides laugh and probably think to herself...christ my daughter is crazy) was say that that reminded her of The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. One point that he made, which really speaks to my overall viewpoint on life...

"President Cohen, when I told him I was going to do this talk, he said, please tell them about having fun, because that’s what I remember you for. And I said, I can do that, but it’s kind of like a fish talking about the importance of water. I mean I don’t know how to not have fun. I’m dying and I’m having fun. And I’m going to keep having fun every day I have left. Because there’s no other way to play it."

So there you have it. At this very moment in my life I can honestly say that I have mastered the art of living life to the fullest. And that is with close to zero dollars at most times and just a ton of really awesome friends. I encourage you all to do that same and be that person the next time someone pulls up next to you in your car while you're rocking out. I guarantee it puts a smile on your face.

Goodnight.

My Only Addiction

I decided to change things up a bit with this post. For the most part, I tend to write about observances or just interesting occurrences that I think people would, for the most part, be interested in reading about. In the interest of keeping things new and fresh, I'm going to share something with my loyal readers that they may already know...but maybe not.

For the past couple of months I have truly had an amazing time...all the time. There is one activity that I have made a habit and that is Live Band Karaoke. Some like to call it LBK but I'm not sure that that's catching on...ever. Anyway, when I say that this is a great time, that is a complete understatement. Live Band Karaoke has become my one addiction in life. It combines my favorite things: singing, dancing and rocking out. What more can a person ask for?

While karaoke leaves me with an overwhelming sense of joy and rockstardom, it's also an opportunity for me to enjoy my other favorite thing in life: watching other people have a fantastic time. See...I am very lucky. I was blessed with this amazing ability to have fun no matter what I'm doing. Just the other day at Live Band Karaoke, I had a guy come up to me and say, "Are you on drugs?" Shockingly enough I didn't smack this clown in the face, but rather told him no and walked away. Always taking the high road....

Just a little known fact: I DO NOT drink when I go to karaoke...for the most part. The last few times I have spent zero dollars. Some may say that's incredibly strange and probably dumb. I just think it's awesome. Enough about me though...back to the point of this blog.

Karaoke seems to bring out the best in everyone. I've never seen people have more fun than when I'm at The Downtown on Thursday nights. There is no judgment, no nasty looks (or maybe I can't see them because my hair is spinning around my body and covering my face cause I'm a heavy metal rockstar) and no BS. It's a guaranteed good time and I will even go as far as to say that it is the one after work activity that everyone can do and doesn't have to worry about anything. No matter how shy, scared or awful you are at singing, Live Band Karaoke promises a good time...even if you're just watching. I seem to struggle to stay in my seat, but I know plenty of people who go and just watch other people have good time. It's incredible.

So there you have it. A little something about me. My one and only addiction is Live Band Karaoke and the reason: because there is nothing better than watching people have the best time of their lives. Exaggeration? Maybe. But maybe come by this Thursday and see for yourself. I always promise people a great time.

See you Thursday!

Sometimes Interns Find Their Way into your Home

Tonight's post comes at the 'request' of some friends..and/or years of listening to and living through experiences similar to those that I will write about. Hopefully everyone reading has had prior interaction with interns at work that will help in understanding this post; however, I can say up front that the women reading will more than likely appreciate this far more than the men, but it's still an interesting observation.

I will preface what I am about to write with a little *This post is in no way, shape or form meant to hurt anyone's feelings, but rather shed light on some interesting topics. Interns in a work setting play a very valuable role in the every day activities of an agency. Their commitment and work ethic has the capability of truly enhancing an agency's quality of work. However...and this is a big however...every now and again you get a couple of doozies. These interns will be the focus of this post.

I'm not quite sure how this happens, but every time I have had to work with interns, there are always a couple who are just not as motivated as I would like them to be. Maybe that's me being unrealistic, just simply a bitch, or too demanding, but...all I'm asking for is a little enthusiasm for the profession that you SEEM TO THINK you want to get into. Well here's what happens with these ones. You give them an assignment that is very well-explained, detailed and always always always say to ask questions if you have them. The final product in this instance is sub-par (to be generous). In no way is this the assignment you have given and you have to now spend your time re-doing the entire project. WHAT A WASTE! I often ask myself why I don't just do these assignments on my own.

And that brings me to my next point. This type of behavior often finds its way into relationships, whether they be live in or not (but more than likely live-in) and I'm finding it borderline unacceptable.

Despite the fact that we are living in the 21st century, there seems to be some preconceived notion that women have certain responsibilities and men have others. I'm not, in any way, going feminist on this post, but just bringing up a point. Why is it that women are more prone to clean, cook, do laundry, and men...more often than not...find their way out of these activities? I'm going to tell you why. Because when it comes down to it, women have little to no patience for things being done in a way that is in any way less than her standards. And so here's what happens. A woman/girlfriend...whatever... will ask her husband/boyfriend to maybe clean the bathroom or vacuum the house. Seems simple enough, right? Of course not. Nothing ever is.

Here's what happens. At the same moment that you have asked your whoever to clean the bathroom and vacuum the house....you are doing something else in a cleaning capacity (laundry, dishes, dusting, etc.). All of a sudden you hear some yelling from the bathroom, "Hun...what do I use to clean the toilet?" Response: "Toilet bowl cleaner." Very slow and unwilling to learn man in the bathroom, "Which one is the toilet bowl cleaner?" Response: Under your breathe, "Are you f'n kidding me?"

And here's where I say...and never to myself because I get too frustrated to hold it in, "It's okay hun...I'll clean the bathroom. You just sit down and relax." Why on EARTH would I want to sit there for an hour, answering questions, walking in and out of the bathroom to see what all of the commotion is when I can just do it all myself? Are we getting to the moral of this story?

Men are like interns. While they can (and do), from time to time, serve a very valuable purpose, they also very often will do things wrong or just in an awful fashion all together so that they are never asked to do them again. It's very sneaky, I know.

I would like to know how this is acceptable and if anyone has any stories they can share that will maybe change my opinion on this complete generalization I am making here. I always love to hear what you all have to say.

Thank you and goodnight!

Hurry Up and Wait

Now I am pretty positive that both men and women do this to each other on a regular basis, so no one has to go ahead and assume that this blog is sexist in any way. I certainly hope that's not the consensus but I never know. I'm very misunderstood.

So imagine you have made plans with your significant other, acquaintance, anyone...and you set a time and a place to meet. Or even better, you plan to meet up at that person's house. Now you're ready to rock and roll when you get there. Hell..nowadays, you're lucky if the person gets out of the car to come to the door to get you (this is obviously more of a date situation) as they are more likely to text you from the car to come outside. Real romantic, right?

Let's pretend for a minute that you go to the door and knock to get the person you're waiting for and they come to the door in their pajamas. Yup. That's right. They have taken zero time and put in zero effort to be ready on time and now you have to wait for them. Awesome. Just what I wanted to do tonight. Sit around while you ask me what you should wear, where are we going, do you really want to go there? I want to stay in. Let's just watch a movie. Ugh. It all makes me sick. And I would imagine this makes most people very angry and leads to things like road rage, violent behavior, the single lifestyle.

Why does this happen? Is it laziness? Uninterest? Boredom? I have no clue because I would like to believe that I would never make someone wait around for me. Or ever encourage sitting around and doing nothing unless it's cold and raining out. Sitting around when it's cold and/or raining out is fantastic and there's nothing better. But any other time. Awful.

And so here is my advice. Take it or leave it. I recommend taking it if you have even the slightest interest in making someone happy. Just be ready on time. Take the time to get your shit together and go out and have a good time. Everyone will benefit in the long run and it's the right thing to do. So just do it.

Thank you and good night.

Just Say So

While I may not have the resume to back up what is to come in this post, I am feeling the need to make a statement about being honest and upfront when you are casually seeing someone, actually dating someone or anywhere in between those two. When I say that I don't have the resume in this situation, I mean that I haven't dated around enough to probably make statements like this, but this is pretty much common courtesy so I'm not worried about it.

Why is it that it seems near impossible for a guy (or girl) to be honest with the person they're involved with on any given day? At this age, and yes...that is at the ripe age of 26 that I make this statement, I would HOPE that we are all mature enough to just say whatever it is we're thinking. If that hurts someone's feelings, tough shit. People have their own ways of going about handling given situations and let's just be honest and say that they will get over it eventually.

And this common courtesy I'm referring to doesn't have to involve someone you're even 'involved' with. That could be too strong and we know how guys can get (sorry...I'm sure girls can get this way too but most likely not) if you refer to your status with him as anything other than friends at best. God forbid. That's not even the situation here though. What I'm talking about is this:

You start talking to someone and you realize you have something in common. Super. So maybe you hang out a couple times, text, talk on the phone (blasphemy) or exchange IMs through Facebook. I mean the forms of communication are endless which only further emphasizes my point. Now clear out of the blue all communication ends. No explanation, no phone call, no text, no Facebook message, tweet, nothing. With all of the mediums out there in which to do so, it absolutely baffles me how difficult this is and yet they made an entire movie out of it. He's just not that into you.

If you were seeing someone else at the same time that you were talking to me, who the hell cares? Do you think this is going to put me into therapy that I can't afford because my insurance won't pay for it? God no. These types of things only matter if you're in an actual relationship and even then it seems guys have difficulties being honest. I'm hopeful that marriage brings out the honesty in people, but even that is up for debate at this point.

Regardless, here's what I think. Why bother wasting anyone's time in the first place? I've heard all of the excuses in the book at this point - even with my bleak resume. Hell...I've had a guy tell me that I was too good of a person for him. Are you friggin kidding me? So what does that make him? A bad person...very good. These are all ways of dancing around the obvious: you're just not interested anymore...never were...never will be and yet you continue to waste my time providing just enough humor and physical chemistry to keep me mildly interested.

Moving forward I ask that anyone reading this blog, or passing this blog along to friends to read because it's just that entertaining and useful, abide by the following dating/relationshipping rule: If you, at any moment in your dating, relationship, what have you, find yourself uninterested, losing interest or doubting your interest in general, open your mouth and say so. Don't make us beat it out of you. That's extra effort that we could be putting to good use on someone who might actually be interested.

Let that sink in over the weekend and let me know what you think. And share stories - as always. I love to hear them.

Happy Day.

When Bad Things Happen to Good People

This post is a direct result of my current illness, but I am feeling the need to vent in some way, shape or form. It just so happens that I'm sick...yet again...this coming off of having pneumonia about a month and a half ago...and it couldn't come at a worse time. When I was sick most recently, it was during a week when I had plans pretty much every day. Some will say that it is for that reason that I got sick in the first place (my mom, my dad, some friends) as they say that I am wearing my body down by partying too much. Partying is a bit strong, but I do like to go out when I can. I feel that it keeps me young and energized and allows me to experience things that I may have not been doing for the past couple of years...for whatever reason.

Needless to say, I was so pissed when this happened. I had plans to visit girls I used to work with at my old job - who I haven't seen in several months. I had to miss Live Band karaoke...which at the time, had become (and remains) my favorite thing to do every week. And to top it off, a friend was having a BBQ that I had been looking forward to for the past couple of weeks. In summary, I was missing out on a lot of good times.

And now we move to present day. I start to feel awful on Tuesday. Can't breath because my smart ass decided to run 4 miles at noon on a humid day when I never ever go running to begin with and apparently caused inflammation of my chest wall and rib cage. Awesome. I had to leave work early and miss a movie night with a friend. Fine. Next day, I have the pleasure of being my mom's biggest cheerleader as she speaks in front of 500 people at PNC Bank Arts Center, and after arriving at work around 10 I realize that I have uncontrollable shivers. I leave work early again to get home and find out I have 103.6 fever (highest of my life) and I will have to cancel dinner plans and an evening of comedy at The Stress Factory because I'm practically dying.

Turns out I have some random virus and will be fine; however, I will be missing karaoke YET AGAIN this week (and that was after taking off the past 2 weeks). You can imagine my frustration. AND..my friends are having a BBQ that I have been looking forward to since I got the Facebook invite more than a month ago. All I wanted to do was play volleyball all day and now I will be doing nothing of the sort. So pissed!

So what's the moral of this story? No matter how nice of a person you are, you are still prone to unfortunate events and bad timing in general. I know, I know. This isn't fair and you more than likely feel angry and hurt when situations like this make their way into your life. I say to just shake them off. You can't help how sick you get...unless you are actively not taking care of yourself, eating like crap and doing some sort of crazy drugs that will lead you down this path. These things happen. All you can do is get better and hope that you don't get sick again for a very, very long time.

Thoughts, comments, suggestions? I'm all ears everyone.

I Want It All

Sounds greedy, right? Or it sounds like an AWESOME Queen song. It turns out I'm referring to none of the above. Shocking, I'm sure. Being that I'm not the greedy type, in the least, it may come as a surprise that I would write a blog like this; however, someone recently said something to me that sparked my interest (or disgust) and I am feeling the need to write about it.

Ever since becoming single, I have had the esteemed pleasure of attempting to date, meet people, be a normal 26 year old woman. To my own displeasure, this has not worked out in a big way (of course there has been some good randomness in there to keep me guessing, but nothing that would lead me away from writing this post). And for what reason?

I have people telling me all the time - Erin!! You're so much fun, so out-going, the life of the party, you love sports, you're sarcastic..blablabla. And then I have the same people telling me that I'm also intimidating, overwhelming, loud as hell and just all together quite the handful for the average male. Well. What is someone who is all of these things to do about this predicament?

You could tone it down a notch. Try playing the semi-reserved card so that you don't send men running scared when they see you out on the dance floor sweating like a fat kid at wrestling camp and playing the air guitar like Slash.

Enter me. How about no. Here's how I see it and I'm not saying this is the end all/be all of dating because I am not a poster child for success here...I am single. But why should I ever change the way I act in public, or in private for that matter, because it makes someone feel threatened, or afraid to approach me. If a guy is that much of a massive 'P' word...chances are it wouldn't have worked out anyway. As long as you're not being blatantly inappropriate (the subtle motor-boat is allowed in my world) then I see no reason to sensor anyone.

And so I ask: Who is right in this situation? Should we all give people a glimpse of what they're going to get if a date is to follow? Or show them the real thing so that by the time they take you home they're not having a heart attack when they see that you've brought rope and duck tape in case things get really wild and crazy? That's a joke..by the way. If you're going to bring rope, don't forget some sort of cloth. That shit burns.

Please share your thoughts. As always, I'm VERY interested.

Timing Really is Everything

With another fantastic weekend under my belt, which includes sleeping for about 12 hours last night, I am left confused as usual about my never-ending struggle with timing. Because I have chosen to make this blog as anonymous as possible so as not to offend anyone or 'blow up any spots' as the kids are staying these days, this post is going to be a bit difficult, but I will make it work.

Have you ever been interested in someone...I would say moderately interested (nothing serious) and things seem to be going completely fine and then it's as if a rug gets pulled from underneath your legs? That's a bit dramatic, but it's really just to try and put the situation into perspective. So let me be a bit more specific. You have hung out a couple of times, talk, text, whatever...on a regular basis, eventually hook up (nothing crazy) and then they fall off the face of the earth. Weird, right? I'm aware.

But then, clear out of the blue, someone else who did the exact same thing say 2-3 months ago- showed interest, maybe you even hooked up, but never heard a thing- at that exact moment that you have semi-met someone interesting - that other person miraculously pops him/herself back into your life with zero explanation.

Now, none of these above-mentioned situations are ground-breaking. Christ, at this point in my life, it would take a very high-level magnitude earthquake to be considered ground-breaking with the way my love life has panned out to date; however, it did make me think about how wise the man/woman who first said 'Timing is everything." If I cared enough, maybe I would look that up for all of my readers so that we could give credit where credit is due...but I won't.

I will ask that you share with me an instance in your life that seemed like it could be fun, exciting, new...whatever, and it didn't work out because of timing. Maybe you were moving in a week and had just met who seemed to be the man of your dreams. Or, you find the love of your life and you've already been married for 6 years. These things happen on a regular basis and what are we to do?

So help me out. I know what I do....but what about you?

I'm interested in knowing...so please find the time to tell me ;)