Completely Tasteless

I will keep this short because I'm pretty tired, but I cannot go without expressing my completely disapproval and in all honesty, my disgust with a certain company that is advertising on Route 35 in Hazlet, NJ. Because of my long commute every day, I tend to notice things that the normal commuter may not notice, but this is just uncalled for.

Today I saw a billboard that just pushed me to my limit with anger. How far will companies go to make a pretty penny? Apparently pretty far. There is a certain company that goes by the name of Shore Point Funeral Home that will now be known as the most tasteless, unsympathetic group of people I have ever never met (try to follow that).

This company has had two billboards up in the past two months. The first one read: 'We don't want to be your designated driver.' Inappropriate. The second one, which I saw today, said, 'Pretty...not pricey!' SERIOUSLY?!?!??!?! I cannot express in words how much I want to call these lunatics and tell them that not only are their billboards lacking in all things decent and general sympathy to an almost always difficult situation, but what funeral home really needs to be advertising on a billboard? HELLLOOOOOOOO!! The natural life cycle pretty much keeps you in business- so why spend money on advertising? We have all heard of yellowpages.com at this point and can find you if, god forbid, we need to.

At this point, I'm so disgusted thinking about this that I cannot possibly say anything else other than I hope everyone in Monmouth County is now banning your facility because of your lack of decency. May God have mercy on your soul.

The end.

Erin

Social Media is Pretty Anti-Social if you Ask Me

Being that I am writing on my very own blog, which is in and of itself a form of social media, I am already off to a rough start with this entry, but I'm determined to make a point. Of course the arrival of social media has been terrific for most industries and if your company hasn't benefited in some way, shape or form- get with the program. It's free for crying out loud.

Anyway, I celebrated yet another lovely birthday today and now that the day is coming to a close, I cannot help but comment on how social media such as online networks (not naming names but FACEBOOK comes to mind) are truly destroying any real attempts at actually keeping in touch with people- the old fashioned way. Of course this is hypocritical because I love Facebook -- not as much as those who have been on since it first started, but I do participate nowadays and enjoy it -- but I must say that being that this is my first birthday with Facebook, it has been a truly eye-opening experience. I have had people coming out of the woodwork- as I like to put it- to wish me a Happy Birthday. I have thanked all of these people on multiple occasions- or in one swooping status update- but still- it is greatly appreciated.

H-O-W-E-V-E-R

There is one small detail that these commentors (not sure if that's a word or not but let's just go with it) are more than likely unaware of. That is the fact that I am probably the biggest birthday lover of all time. This year I have pulled the 'annoying girl who celebrates her birthday for more than just the one day but the full week' move and had parties on the weekends before and after my birthday. I attribute this solely to the fact that this year's bday falls on a lame Wednesday and I mean how much partying can you do on a Wednesday?

Anyway- I'm getting off track. I have a real issue with the lack of personalized birthday wishes- or hell- birthday wishes that resort back to archaic times of sending people regular snail mail, birthday cards and -- dare I say it -- actually picking up the phone and spending the two minutes that it takes to wish someone a Happy Birthday. Where did all of that go?

Now I know that I am playing the forever optimistic- I live in my very own Fantasy World- girl, but seriously. Why has this routine gesture become obsolete? Most of my friends know that I have always been notorious for remembering people's birthdays every year- even before Facebook (if you can remember that). That's not saying that I'm some kind of supernatural being who can only be seen at your local movie theatre every third month, but really. Why has everyone become so accustomed to sending birthday wishes on Facebook or sending emails and texts as opposed to putting in the extra time? The answer is that I do not know.

I will admit, as I did when I first started here- that I am partially guilty of everything I have written about in this entry. But the fact of the matter is, I think we all reach a point in our lives where we have limited our phone conversations completely and we save most, if not all of our socializing for the not so often reunion or seasonal holidays that bring everyone together more naturally.

Again, please do not misunderstand anything I have written here. I truly am very thankful that I have the friends that I have who were nice enough to wish me a happy birthday...I just am always hopeful that the old fashioned birthday wishes will resurface some day and we can all go back to having super cool birthday parties like we did when we were 10 year old. PS- My parents sang Happy Birthday to me when I got home tonight after 10 and we ate oreo cake that my mom bought at the store. It was the most adorable thing ever and I love them for appeasing me for yet another year.

Goodnight everyone!

Please keep in touch...preferably before my next birthday :)

Love,
E

Will the Real You Please Stand Up?

And no, this is not an ode to Eminem. I wouldn't give that clown the air time on this prestigious blog if he paid me. I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine, who will remain nameless for this entry, but we were talking about a former friend of hers that is the epitome of every girl's or guy's worst nightmare (I cannot confirm but only assume that this type of behavior is equally as annoying with guys as it is with girls).

The situation goes like this. You become friends with a person and they seem perfectly normal. They are always down for hanging out and seem to get along with your friends pretty well. What could possibly be the problem? Apparently this person has had a difficult time 'discovering' themselves. This is a completely unforeseen occurrence. Usually when this happens- you think that he/she is just being nice by always agreeing to go to see the movie that you want to see, do things that none of your other friends would never do with you. You almost always think that it's your friends who are sucking. Before you know it, this person starts talking like you, dressing like you (hopefully more common with girls than with guys) and just all together getting on your nerves. How does this happen?

After you stop calling or returning calls, this person almost always finds another person who has not found a problem with their very high levels of imitation. Little time goes by when your best friend is calling to tell you that they're out with 'what's her name who is now the most annoying person you have ever met' and they are just having the best time! You get on the phone with annoying girl and she is talking exactly like your best friend, the next time you see her she is dressing like your best friend and she is all together acting completely different than when you and her were hanging out. What the F is this all about?

Unfortunately I have had this happen to me. A girl who I thought I was friends with blatantly tried to swoop in like a bat out of hell and befriend my best friend while simultaneously trying to end my friendship with my best friend. Luckily that didn't work out, but it's still an extremely upsetting part of my life that I would rather not think about.

To that end, I have a few choice words for people who are like this. End it. It is so beyond annoying and unnecessary to try this hard to be friends with people. If you are hanging around with someone who doesn't enjoy your 'actual' personality- you probably shouldn't be friends. It's not worth your effort and the other person's time to get to know the person you're pretending to be, so don't bother. This sort of behavior should be grounds for minimal torture or maybe these people should all be put into a room together so that they can all act like each other and not confuse the rest of us.

Anyway, has anyone experienced this type of situation? Please share.

Thanks,

E

Having Trouble Getting Noticed? Sounds Familiar

As I have gradually entered into the dating world, there are a couple of things that have become apparent to me.

1- Men are even more afraid of being turned down in a bar than women are; and women (for the most part) are very often waiting for the man to approach her. What does this result in? Frustration on both ends -- probably moreso the woman's end because she goes home over-analyzing every waking moment of the encounter while the man is more than likely already onto the next women.

2- Men seem to be intimated very easily. How often have you heard a girl tell you that a guy was intimidating? And I'm not referring to Gossip Girl. Probably not that often. I hear guys say that girls are intimidating all the time. What does this even mean? Does that mean that she is too outgoing and fun for you to handle? Or that she might bring more to the table than you do? Is she too loud, or what? Aren't these all redeeming qualities that every guy should look for in a girl? I would think so. Apparently not. This makes no sense and if anything, has left me so frustrated when situations like this come up because I hate to sway toward stereotypes, but I get the impression that guys are happier with arm candy than someone who you can actually bring home to your family and they won't think that you picked her up at Spring Break.

I recently came across this article on Cosmopolitan that talks about how to meet 'hot' guys. Let me just be clear about this- this magazine makes me sick. The fact that girls need to be thinking about meeting hot guys is just utterly embarrassing. From my experience, hot guys are always severely lacking in categories that are of extreme importance to me: desire to participate in group activities, motivation to step outside of their comfort zone, and just over confidence that is nothing shy of obnoxious. None of which is appealing.

Why aren't we encouraging people to look for someone who is interesting, intelligent, can go out and have a good time without blacking out and conveniently 'losing' his cell phone the next day. In my opinion, these are the types of things that I am looking for in the opposite sex and that's not to say that I have anything figured out. I've spent the past seven years in unsuccessful relationships -- the most recent left me on the non-receiving end of a sweet plasma TV that I am still bitter about. I won't go into that though.

As I always say, I want to hear your thoughts on this...so please speak up!

Mwah!
Erin

Talk Much?

Now this could go so many ways with a title like that, but I'm going to take the most literal definition here: verbal communication. I will be the first to admit that I'm a huge fan of text messaging, and hell.. even Facebook messaging now, but that does not mean that I have thrown all of my verbal communication etiquette out the window because all of these new technologies have made their way into my life. And this brings me to my latest frustration: people's general lack of communication in every aspect of their every day lives.

Over time I have realized that while I have tons of little pet peeves and things that just irritate me to no end, I have discovered where my greatest frustration lies: rudeness. I myself have a very difficult time being rude to people..period. And beyond that, nowadays, you have an opportunity to be rude to someone through a number of portals: cell phones, in person (which rarely happens because people are so afraid of other people), Facebook, email, voicemail. I mean seriously, if you think about it- how often are you avoiding a conflict by sending a text message? It's sickening!!! I even think that nowadays you can go directly to someone's voicemail because you don't want to talk to him/her for some reason (*which...PS- if anyone knows how to do this, please let me know.. thanks.). But when you take a situation like that- why are you calling someone if you hope they aren't going to answer? It's very strange indeed..and when it comes down to it- rude.

In our lives, we will obviously go through very good and extremely bad situations with people. In the end, though, there is no reason for all of these miscommunications because that is probably where the problems stemmed from in the first place. He sent me a text and then I called him back and left a voicemail, so he wrote on my Facebook wall. I mean it makes me nuts!!!! When was the last time someone simply asked you to go out and grab a coffee? I don't know if I have done that since college and I didn't even drink coffee in college. But people just don't seem to have time for other people which is why I think we are all taking such advantage of these advanced technologies like text messaging, Twitter, Facebook and whatever else is going on out there in cyberspace that I don't know about yet.

While I am guilty of several of the above-mentioned shannanigans, I can certainly say that I do my best to keep in touch with as many people as I possibly can- whether that be the occasional lunch or dinner, emails, texts, whatever. I also firmly believe that most communication problems would magically come to an end if people would shy away from their cell phone every now and again and actually drive to their friends house and surprise them. Wouldn't that be crazy?

I seemed to get lost in translation up there, so let me bring this back to my extreme disgust for all things rude. Some tips or just general guidelines that will lead to more successful relationships -- whatever kind you choose that to be:
1- If you are the type of person who chooses text messaging over other forms of communication then you should respond quickly. What is this days going by type of response rate? Think about that- if it took you days to get to a simple task at work, you would be fired. So pick up the pace.
2- Emails seem to be the easiest way to keep in touch with the people in your life who you don't see all that often- so save the attitude for in person. At the same time, that's pretty talented to give someone an attitude in an email; however, this is just wrong, unnecessary and RUDE. Now I'm keeping with the theme again.
3- When you are meeting someone for the first time, try not to be a bitch. I mean aside from that making absolutely no sense, how does that even happen? How are you rude to people you don't know? Very strange. Fix it. This is real life now, not The Hills.

There are so many more things to mention, but I will leave those up to you to provide me with. What are your thoughts on this? And if you're going to tell me that I'm living in la la land because I expect people to show some common courtesy...you can just go to hell. Just kidding...keep reading the blog!

Much love,
Erin

So happy you bought this bottle of luuuuuuuuuuuuube!

Now I understand that that is a bit controversial, but wait until you hear about the past 24 hours I’ve had in Canada. As you may have heard- I busted my ass real bad on the mountain yesterday- so much so that I didn’t go snowboarding today. Instead, I decided to do some laundry and some sightseeing. First off- I tried to do this laundry last night, but I could not figure out the washing machine in the condo I am in. For starters- there are no numbers…anywhere on this machine. But the main knob used to simply push in, turn and then pull out to start the water- is not working at all. It is not pushing in or pulling out at all. Sounds a lot like a bad sexual experience if you ask me (I thought about not saying that and then I thought about the day I have had and figured what the hell). I had the maintenance guy out here in no time and he was like- yeah I have no idea what’s wrong with your washing machine. Super. Thank you for nothing, pal.

Now I wake up the next morning, tailbone still in shambles and I am off to the hotel to do the laundry that I can’t do at the condo. I find the laundry room…no thanks to the lady at the front desk and I do not have the correct change to use the washing machine. I now have to go back upstairs to get all ones- and yeah- ones here in Canada are coins and then go back down to the washing machine. Keep in mind that I am having a horrible time walking. So I have both loads of laundry going and I’m reading Eclipse..my new favorite book and YES it is the Twilight series. I love it. I notice that the one washing machine has stopped and the other is still going. I think this is odd because I started them at the same time – why wouldn’t they be done at the same time? Whatever. I put the one load in the dryer and just keep reading. 30 minutes goes by and the other washer is still not working. Now I’m just getting mad because so far things are just not working out. I walk back up the 3 flights of stairs and tell the front desk and they say they are sending someone down. A lady comes down and asks if I’m in 1064. I say yes and she says – the maintenance lady went to your condo and nothing is wrong with your washing machine. I’m ready to bang this woman’s head against the wall because I’ve just stopped ringing out a couple pairs of clothes from the broken washer. She see’s what I’m doing and says that they will give me money to run them in the other washer. So I do that and then put the wet clothes in bags and go back to the condo to use my own dryer. Again- this dryer has no numbers or instructions, but I figure it out and it’s running.

Now I’m on my way to the mountain to meet up with my brother for lunch. I get off at the wrong stop on the shuttle bus and have to walk FOR-EV-ER up a cliff it feels like since my back is in excruciating pain. We have lunch – the burgers are crappy but whatever. We decide that we’re gonna go and rent a couple movies and hang out. Zack and Miri Make a Porno and The Rocker were are two choices and we go back to the car and nothing. The key will not turn in the ignition. We’re both like- are you kidding me? So we’re texting our mom cause it’s her car, she’s trying to give us tips on how to fix this ‘glitch’ that seems to be very common in Nissans and nothing is working. I call AAA and Nissan roadside assistance – meanwhile thinking- how is all of this b^&*ls&*t happening to me right now? AAA says they will be there in an hour. Nissan calls me back to say that they will have to charge me $101 just to get it to the dealership and oh yeah- that has to be cash. I tell them not to bother. AAA shows up and the guy does not speak English. No worries. He tries the same thing that everyone else has told us to do- turn the wheel as far left as you can and shake the key with your foot on the break. That doesn’t work. Then he whips out a can of WD40 or some type of ‘lube’ and sprays it into the ignition. He then picks up a wrench and hits the ignition and then turns the key and POOF! It works!

Michael and I look at each other and I say to this man, “All it needed was some lube?” Luckily he didn’t realize how incredibly inappropriate that was and I’m just LMAO-ing. So now we’re on our way back to the condo and the conversation went like this:

Michael: “I can’t even believe how ridiculous that was. It just doesn’t even make any sense!!!”
Erin: “I know. I was ready to go to the Inconvenient Store and get myself a 40.”
Michael: “You could have gotten a 50!”
Erin: “Yeah I know. And it would have been 50% alcohol content.”
Michael: “I can’t wait for mom to get that text message: ‘We’re good. AAA lubed the ignition and it worked!’
Erin: “LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL” LUUUUUUUUUUUBE!!!!!!”

I hope you enjoy that story as much as we did. And oh yeah.. I never did any sightseeing.

In Canada...they do things a little differently

As most of you know, I'm spending the week in Canada at Mont Tremblant -- what I can only deem as the greatest place to go snowboarding on the face of the earth. An over-statement, I'm positive, but that's how I feel at the moment so I'm just gonna go with it.

Here's a little background information: I'm on vacation for a week with my brother, Michael -- who might be the exact opposite of me except for the fact that we are brother and sister. I'm much more of the social butterfly, loudest person you will ever meet and my brother would be perfectly happy for the rest of his life never having to speak to another person face to face and operate strictly through text messaging. Regardless of our different personalities, we get along extremely well. Well enough to spend an entire week together in a foreign land (hey...they speak French out here...that's foreign enough for us). I thought I would recap some of our funnier moments thus far. Please keep in mind that my brother and I find the most ridiculous things funny- so while we may have spent several minutes laughing our asses off at this stuff...you might not even find this remotely interesting.

The Drive Up: Otherwise known as the longest drive of my life. We woke up at 3AM so that we could hit the road at 4. This was extremely unnecessary because this only made us tired enough that everything else the rest of the day was 10 times more difficult. Highlights from the drive: We stopped at almost every rest stop to use the bathroom, the rest stops in New York look like they've been taken directly off of a baseball field in Middletown or are coming off of an Indian reservation. Very strange. Oh- and entering into Canada would have been more exciting if it didn't look like the entire place had just experienced a serious fire. There were no trees...nothing but barren fields. Regardless- we were in Canada and psyched!

The French: Ok so I have had a pretty bad impression of the French ever since I was 14 and in Cannes and I was robbed while I was sleeping in my hotel room. This did not leave a great taste in my mouth and I guess I haven't gotten over it. But our first experience with the French was the grocery store: Metro. I'm not sure if it was because it was crowded or what- but this place was so confusing. We couldn't find cereal to save our lives -- only to realize the next day that that's because it was in the same aisle as the toilet paper. Not sure I see the connection there but whatever. And the strangest thing- when you go to pay- you cannot take your cart through with you. You have to leave that on the one side and they load your bags into a completely different type of cart. I'm not sure I see the logic in this, but again...we are just gonna go with it.

Dinner the first night: After an awesome day on the mountain...and by awesome I mean that this is by far the most fun I have ever had snowboarding in my life...we are ready to go out and get some dinner. Now it's a Sunday night and probably around 8PM. We go into the town that we are staying in and my brother suggests going into a place that has a massive sign on the outside that says Pizza, Beef Steak, and a whole bunch of other random foods. I'm like- yeah I'm not eating here. So we try to go to a place that I saw that said Pizza and Cle- this place was closed. We try to go back to the place he wanted to go into- that place is closed. We park across the street from a place that looks very open, put one foot in the door and hear a woman singing at the top of her lungs and not well and we turn around and leave. Michael didn't even walk in. I had one foot in- heard the noise- and left. Now we're just laughing hysterically thinking- where the hell are we gonna eat? So we drive back to a place we passed on our way into town and it's still open. Super. So we go in, we're the only people there other than 3 french women. We sit down, order, and the lady barely speaks English. While we are sitting there, we realize that these 3 ladies are just straight chillin', drinking wine and eating their dinner. Totally unphased by the patrons (us). Regardless, our server comes over and tries to make small talk with us and she is having a hard time with the English. To the point where she says- you know...I no speak good English...and I have the wine...and yeah. She just laughs and me and Michael just laugh. She was wasted and we loved it.

And then there was Monday: So we're back on the mountain for Day 2 and just feeling great. The only soreness I have is from sleeping in the twin bed that is hard as a rock- but that's fine. Our condo is adorable! We decide that we're going to spend the majority of the day learning to ride switch. For those of you who don't know much about snowboarding- this just means that you ride with the opposite foot in front that you would normally ride. My brother is clearly a natural at this- and has been doing it longer- so this looks effortless to him and for that I hate him. I am doing relatively well. Surprising myself at how well I'm doing in fact and then BOOM! I catch an edge and hit the ground so hard...which is always followed by me playing Peter Griffin for a good minute with the 'OOOOO...AAAAHHHHH...OOOOOOOO ....AHHHHH' Hilarious! Only not. I was in so much pain I thought I was going to cry. And my brother is just like giving me the thumbs up or down. I want to throw rocks at his face for that I'm in so much pain (just kidding about the rocks). So yeah. I proceeded to fall again down that run and I was in excruciating pain. So much pain that I'm not snowboarding today, but that's okay. My A%^ can use a day off.

And there's the recap. I apologize for the long entry but I've been away from Blindfolded for a couple of days and was really missing it so I thought I would bring the A game.

I hope all is well with everyone in Jersey. I miss you all terribly and hope to have more stories as the week goes on.

Until next time....