Here's to Uncle Buck

Let's call a spade a spade and say that this is one of the greatest comedies of all time. Clearly. I think I laugh harder every time I watch it. That magnificent pancake alone makes my day...every day. Now imagine watching Uncle Buck as part of what turned out to be a very nice, first date. How do you think that would turn out? Very well actually.

And such was my evening last night. To keep it short, I had a very nice, traditional date last night consisting of dinner, a movie, some NHL 2010 on XBOX and another movie. All in all - a great time. Laughing hysterically the entire time - this is bound to happen when both parties involved are incredibly funny. Regardless, there was one thing that was obvious about this date that hasn't happened to me in a long time and that was that I could completely be myself and not have to worry about scaring anyone away. Not that you need to worry about that on a first date, but my mother is constantly telling me to tone it down a notch, to sit down for a change when I'm out and about and I'm always telling her that I just can't do that. I can't be someone who I'm not - understanding that my out-of-controlness is more than likely a turn-off for most men but we won't go into the reasoning behind that.

Last night was a relief. Of course this was because we actually have known each other for a long time. A very long time. All the way back to high school. Scary, huh? The funny thing is that neither of us has really changed. We just got reacquainted over a period of a few years and I mean there really isn't much else to say about that. I ran into him - in more ways than one - on Christmas Eve and well we made plans to go on a date. Easy as that.

And when yesterday came along, of course I was a tad bit nervous, but nothing too insane. None of this over-analyzing, what do I wear (lie), what is he going to wear, should I really eat as much as I normally eat or is that disgusting? None of this was a problem. Dinner was great...delicious in fact...and then we went back to watch a movie. No funny business. I got to pick the movie and what other movie to watch than Uncle Buck. Classic. John Candy's greatest performance perhaps. Needless to say - we were both laughing hysterically the entire time. And neither of us thought twice about the fact that we were watching a movie that came out in the early 80s and probably received minimal positive reviews during its prime.

And this is what made the date so much fun. No shame, no worry, no filters. Good stuff. And so here is my concluding thought: while it may be shocking to most that I haven't been on a normal date like this in a long time, I can say that it is my hope that as we all get older and continue to date and be merry - that dates remain this simple and easy-going. Who knows what will happen - if anything - but if nothing else, it was nice to just spend time with a good person who enjoys hanging out and having a good time as much as I do.

Cheers to that...and Happy New Year!

Big NYC Debut

I think it's safe to say that Karaoke has become the relationship in my life. I feel very committed and I truly do not think there is anything that could come in the way of me and my plans to rock the hell out as much as physically possible. That being said, I decided to take my new-found talent on the road. Now just to back up a moment, I have had mostly positive feedback on my karaoking. Let's all try to stay balanced here and understand that most of these commentators are friends and family and would never tell me if I was awful. I know that I can't sing BUT I also know that I can absolutely rock out. So the most common comment is 'Your performance more than makes up for your singing.' Totally fine with this.

So last night I decide that since I 'sort of' have off of work all week' I am going to go and see my favorite (only one I know) live band karaoke band at their home bar in NYC: Arlene's Grocery. What I've heard of this place is that it's a total dump. Awesome. I get a group of girlfriends together and we're on our way.

We go to dinner first. Fine. Head over to the bar and get there a little before 10. Me and a friend sign up to sing as soon as we walk in and the list is already almost filled. Just to keep this in perspective...when the band comes to Red Bank to perform at the Downtown, they have to pry people out of their chairs to sing - or at least wait until they are wasted enough to lighten up. So whatever...we sign up and let the good times roll.

One by one these singers go up and they are just phenomenal. Clearly they are all in the performing arts and me and my friend continue to look at each other and contemplate leaving instead of facing the music. I mean these people were legit singers. And now I'm even more nervous than I was when I first got there...and the guy standing in front of me who is practically shitting himself farting all over the place is not helping to lighten my mood. I'm ready to vomit instead.

Regardless of these nerves, they call the name of the guy who I know is before me. At first glance he appears homeless. Second glance he looks like Gandhi...and cannot sing to save his life. Perfect. This is the ideal situation I have been waiting for because the girl who just rocked out to Led Zeppelin really took the house down. So they call my name. Holy shit. How am I going to get up on stage in New York City and sing in front of these awesome talents?

So as I head up to the stage the only thing I can think about is whether or not I am visibly sweating through my rockstar shirt. As I approach the stage, the lead singer reaches his hand out to help me onto the stage. I grab it...take a large step and proceed to COMPLETELY MISS the stage and smash into it instead...leaving a massive bruise on my thigh (just in time for NYE and my hot dress), a hyper-extended wrist and mounds of humiliation. Nevertheless - I rocked Journey's 'Anyway You Want It' better than ever - according to friends - and had a fantastic time. I would do it again in a heart beat.

Just wanted to share that embarassing moment with you all. I'll keep you updated on my shenanigans as they continue to ensue.

Cheers.

Merry Christmas to All

On what will definitely go down as the most relaxing Christmas ever, I am feeling the need to give a global Merry Christmas to my wonderful friends and family. Most people get very stressed out around the holidays. Too much to do...too little time. Sometimes you're buying presents for people who you would rather not buy presents for. More often than not (which is unfortunate) you're spending time with people who you spend the remaining 364 days of the year avoiding like the plague. The list goes on and on.

Here's where I have a different take on the holiday season in general. If I do get stressed out during this time it's because I never seem to have the kind of money that I would need to buy everyone what I want to buy them. This of course is usually some out-landish (incorrect spelling) gift that no one in their right mind would buy but I know that that person really wants it and that's what it's all about for me. I get such joy and appreciation out of seeing other people happy or if it works out that my actions are what made them that happy - bonus. As many of you know, I have been very blessed to be happy pretty much every day of my life - and that's with credit card debt pouring out of my ass and something like $3000 of inequity in my 2003 Honda Civic. And you know what... I could care less.

I look at every day as an opportunity to have as much fun as possible and learn a little along the way. And that's what I think we should all do around the holidays. Sure you have millions of people coming out of the wood work to buy presents because they feel obligated to do so. And this in turn puts all kinds of aggressive drivers on the road thus creating incredibly angry people everywhere you turn. And do you wanna know what I say to these people? Merry Christmas.

Quick story - I was walking over to Salt Creek Grille with my boss the other day and a car cut in front of us as we were crossing the street and nearly ran us over. As they turned I noticed that they had a New York license plate. So, being me, I scream - OF COURSE YOU'RE FROM NEW YORK!!!!! Normally this would be the end of this story. We would get a couple laughs and go and enjoy some of the best calamari ever. Instead, this woman had to butt her nose in my business as she overheard my blatant outburst and instead of just going about her ordinary day, she proceeds to say to me, "Was that necessary? You're completely mental." So instead of enjoying a funny moment, I had a stranger tell me that I was mentally insane I think is what she actually said. And do you want to know what I said to her? You're very smart. I said Merry Christmas and went ahead and had a phenomenal lunch.

As Christmas of 2009 comes to an end...probably sooner for me since I have been hungover most of the day today...I encourage all of you to really enjoy every day that you can this upcoming year. I went ahead and did that in 2009 and it has been..hands down...the best year of my life.

Merry Christmas to all...and to all a good night.

Is That All There Is?

Due to my recent state of confusion that has come as a result of mixed signals, over-analyzation and just general bsing, I am feeling quite compelled to enlighten my readers on what I will refer to as 'romantic imagination.' And just for the record, I came up with that term on the spot so if anyone has anything that they think fits this blog after reading it, please let me know and I can change it.

After reading my last blog you are probably thinking that I actually stumbled upon a decent guy. Seemed nice, interesting, interested in me, complimentary and we appeared to have everything under the sun in common. How then do you explain the immediate fast-forward to 'let's just be friends.' Sounds confusing, huh? I think I can disect this at least a little bit for you all and then I'd like to know what you think.

What if said person is pretty set on knowing exactly what he is looking for and is solely relying on getting that 'feeling' when he is around his apparent future soulmate? Is this how people are defining relationships nowadays? By the presence of that oogling feeling we all refer to as 'butterflies' or lack there of as the case may be with yours truly? Seems a bit presumptuous, doesn't it? Here's the thing with that approach - what happens if you just take a step out of never never land for a second and think that it is in fact possible to have legitimate, long-term feelings for someone that do not result in butterflies. Aren't butterflies somewhat of a sign of fear that what you're feeling might go away some day? Anxiety that the person you're feeling this way for doesn't feel that way for you? Nervous that you might say something that will throw the other person off their horse? And then it could absolutely be a sign of interest, compatibility and eventual love (heaven forbid). But why put all of your eggs in one basket?

I for one have spent the past year plus of my life truly enjoying myself and while I don't think I needed to spend that time 'figuring out who I was' I have come to some conclusions. While other people might be extremely interested in the whole 'mind game' bit that accompanies dating, relationships and so on, I just can't be bothered. For me, an ideal relationship is one that allows both parties involved to be themselves - completely - and enjoy each other's company at the same time. End of story. I really feel like it's that easy. If you have managed to attain that which I cannot seem to get a hold of but will continue to glide through life as the happy go-lucky, karaoke fanatic that I am - then for that I envy you.

Of course I hope everyone reaches this point in their lives, but after this situation I can only think of one thing to say: Try not to rely on one 'feeling' that will allow you to fall into a relationship...or love if that's how it works out. I would suggest just doing what makes you happy - because if it's right then that will make the other person equally as happy.

Cheers.

Passing Judgment

After a night out, there is not doubt that if you do not reenter the public eye in something more presentable than sweatpants and larger than small hoop earrings, you are going to be accused of committing the ever-embarrassing walk of shame. My question on this dreary Sunday morning when I can't think of worse weather to give my Giants a chance at beating the Eagles this evening is this: Why are we always so quick to pass judgment?

I walked into the pharmacy this morning...in my home town...to see if my prescription had been filled. I was wearing the clothes I slept in, my Middletown North field hockey fleece that says 'Beehas' on it and medium sized hoop earrings because I didn't want them wrestling around in my purse. The pharmacist girl happens to be someone who I went to high school with - graduated one year ahead of me. We both know that we know each other but we are nothing more than polite to each other - which is fine - but I left the pharmacy wondering what on earth she could have thought I had done the night before that left me in this condition.

In actuality, I was at my company's holiday party and happened to be the designated driver - thank goodness- and limited myself to 2 glasses of wine over the 5 hours we were there. Totally fine. Here's what I'm assuming she thought: This girl is a hot mess and probably slept with some random guy she met out in Red Bank the night before and is going to be experiencing a wicked hangover for the majority of the day. Which could not be further from the truth.

So two questions for my hopefully loyal readers:

1. Why is it that we all tend to pass negative judgment on people when they are not looking their best?

2. What would you have thought I did the night before if you saw me in that condition?

I look forward to these responses.

And let's all do me a favor and root for the Giants today. LET'S GO BIG BLUE!!

Pleasantly Surprised

Since beginning my single and dating lifestyle a little more than a year ago, we all know that I have not had many...any successful experiences. That's not to say that it's anyone's fault. Aside from the guy in the very first post of this blog, it was never anyone's fault. We just weren't compatible and that probably happens more often than not.

So let's talk about this for a second. What are the chances of two people who are put in the uncomfortable situation of a blind date actually hitting it off? I'm certainly not looking into that statistic, but if I had to venture a guess I would imagine that it was lower than 35%. Not good. And how can a person get over these slim odds? You could always take the casual relations route. Some hey nanny nanny with no attachments. Although I've come to realize that you always get more information than you're asking for but that's a story for another blog entirely.

Without giving away too much information I will just say that my recent introduction to someone who I would had never met had it not been for me throwing an insane party for my mother's 50th birthday and my aunt being the nosy, eavesdropper that she is. There is no way of knowing where anything will go at this point, but I can say with confidence that the first 'date' was the best I had been on in well over a year. And that's a bold statement - not because I've been on many dates because I haven't..but the extent to which is was different was just unbelievable.

So I'll keep you all posted. And continue to provide you with some random observations that I find interesting and enjoy hearing your thoughts on.

Have a nice weekend...and Let's Go Giants!

Party of the Year!

My disappearance from my blog can be almost entirely attributed to my extreme stress and obsession with what will now be known as 'The Greatest Party of the Year!' I can FINALLY say that my mother's surprise 50th birthday party went off without a hitch and she was more surprised than I could have ever imagined. And this was despite my almost completely blowing it that very morning.

In my defense I had been lying to my mother for THE LONGEST 10 MONTHS OF MY LIFE and it was only a matter of time before I busted at the seams. This is the woman I tell the most to in my life...probably more than she ever wants to hear but that's just the relationship we have. And what do I do? I text her instead of my brother with - morning! did you get a chance to put your clothes in justine's car? And she immediately responds - what? [Picture Erin almost having a heart attack at this very moment] I thought I had blown it. However, it turns out that she is as clueless as I was when I was being thrown 4 surprise parties in my life. That's just one of the many things we have in common.

So after 10 months of planning and being super obnoxious to my brother and father about doing everything I want and when I want it done...the anticipation and stress and nightmares and everything that made me crazy was all worth it when my mom strutted into that party like she owned the place! She see's that there are 90 people screaming 'surprise!' for her and what does she do? She turns to her friend...probably gives her a nice 'holy f'n shit!' and then walks in the room, rips off her jacket and throws it at me and does her runway walk. It was priceless.

And the party just got better from there. To sum it up I will give another, brief speech:

Mom...this party was something that I have wanted to do for you for as long as I can remember and if I could have one thing in return it would be to see you that happy always. I don't think I have ever seen a bigger smile or a brighter glow on your face than I saw that night and it truly made me the happiest daughter in the world. I love you so much.

Thanksgiving Eve is like Christmas..but better

There must be a HUGE preface to this post because this year's Thanksgiving Eve will unfortunately be without the Stapleton-Levi duo and that saddens me. It deeply saddens me but in their honor I will be sure that the ladies take it to the house on the guys for the THIRD consecutive year in the never-ending game of flip cup.

I digress...let's focus on Thanksgiving for a split second. How could any holiday be better than this?!?! It combines two of the greatest things in the world: tons of food AND football. What could be better? Well that's exactly what I'm about to tell you.

I'm very lucky in that I have a very, very close group of friends that I have pretty much grown up with. And even as some have moved away or what not - we still make a point to all get together and let it rip as often as possible. Thanksgiving Eve is the culmination of all of those other 'minor' gatherings. Between Foxworth's rants, Jessica's dancing on chairs, Olson's just being Olson and the occasional 'trash-talking' sessions, this evening provides enough laughs and just utter nonsense that will last the entire year. The real question is this...

How on earth are we all going to make it to Donna B's amazing breakfast of champions on Thanksgiving? Should be interesting.

I'd love to hear what everyone else does on Thanksgiving Eve...maybe we can throw some madness into our evening tomorrow night.

Happy Turkey Day everyone!

Ooo PBR....How I love thee.

After quite the hiatus from my blog, I have decided that I'm coming back with a vengeance. I'm not quite sure what to blame this leave of absence on. Could be the 'give it a go again' with P90X that leaves me so tired that I can barely walk at work. Or it could be my inability to not go out because I have so much fun every time I do that it's actually reached the point where I can't say no. And this brings me to my brief story.

Last night I had a lovely evening out with a couple girl friends. The night began with a very nice dinner at this fantastic Mexican restaurant in Philly called El Vez - which can only be described by saying - best case scenario. Turns out they serve 5 different kinds of guacamole. We order one...they bring another...we have no idea and we get both. All for the price of one. Fantastic. The rest of the food is phenomenal as well. Oh and PS - they have a photo booth in this place. Super. My favorite things in the world: guacamole and taking silly pictures.

The night took an even better turn when we walked down the road to Drinkers. All I had to hear about this place prior to going was that you could get PBRs (that's Pabst Blue Ribbon for the foreign) for $1 if you shotgunned them. What could be better? I love PBR and I love shotgunning. Sold.

Turns out they are actually $2 nowadays...the economy really has taken its toll. Nevertheless, it was definitely worth the extra buck considering I had three and only paid for one. Apparently the people in Philly are not accustomed to seeing a central Jersey girl shotgun a bunch of beers on a random Wednesday night. Who knew?

And what could be better than this you ask? They even had photo hunt. Quite possibly the best bar game of all time. I can't say that my performance there was as strong as the shotguns but I mean I showed up.

So there you have it. PBR may be one of the cheapest, most underrated beers but let me tell you something. This was crisp, frost-brewed and delicious and do you want to know what made Drinkers my new favorite place in Philly even beyond all of these other things? Of course you do. They didn't serve Coors Light. At all. And for that I love them.

Stop by Drinkers next time you're in town. And rock out with the PBR.

Odd Girl Out

I had the pleasure of sitting through a keynote speech the other day at the NJEA Conference - which in one word could be categorized as overpopulated - and I have to say that this woman was a very good speaker. Rachel Simmons was her name and she is a well-known, published author whose first book, Odd Girl Out was a New York Times best seller and later made into a Lifetime movie. For speaking at a conference where I'm convinced most teachers are not in attendance because they use this time as an extended vacation, and where others go to get the free stuff that goes along with having a tradeshow booth...this woman was a breathe of fresh air.

That being said, there are a couple of things I need to comment on about her speech. She was obviously up there to talk about her book and about bullying that occurs between girls, etc. Now this of course has stemmed from a traumatizing childhood that she had with another girl and she has managed to make a living out of this. She travels the world/country speaking to students, teachers, parents, administrators about the issue of bullying and how detrimental it can be to a young girl's life and general upbringing.

Of course I agree that bullying and any hurtful girl on girl behavior is awful and it's extremely serious and needs to be addressed at an earlier stage. The one point that she brought up that really hit for me was how the victims of bullying very often avoid conflict all together for fear that actually standing up for themselves will result in a 'lost' friend or more worry than they are willing to deal with. This, for me, was the root of all of the problems and maybe something that should be addressed more thoroughly.

And here is my five second therapist moment of the day:

If you are in a situation where one of your so-called 'friends' has done something hurtful, something that you don't agree with or just something that has bothered you or caused you to think, and you do not address them because you are afraid that that will cause further problems and that said 'friend' will terminate the friendship -- this is not a true friend.

I have been lucky enough in my life to have amazing friends. And over time we have grown up (obviously) and are perfectly capable of being up front and honest with each other in ways that I'm sure most groups of friends have not reached at this point. Which is why I'm putting this out there. And here is my final profound thought before 10AM on a Sunday:

If you are afraid to confront someone who you consider a friend with a truly genuine statement for fear that he/she might no longer be your friend after that conversation, that is not a true friend and you should really reevaluate the situation.

So what do you think? Should I be given a PhD right away...because I think so.

Have a great Sunday and Go Giants!

When is it Appropriate to Fake It?

Gotcha with that title, huh? For a number of reasons, I cannot go down that road but maybe (hopefully not) at a later date... if all that has become the norm for me remains the same...I will be able to do so.

Good luck with that last sentence.

What I'm referring to here are situations in life that leave you utterly flabbergasted. When you cannot...with all of the brainpower that you yourself possess figure out how certain things have ended up the way they have. When this happens, and it reaches the point where it is completely out of your control and you have several choices but the main ones being 1) Choose to be happy for that person (if that is the given situation....in this case it is) 2) Argue about your disliking of the situation on a regular basis; thus, creating perpetual animosity....what do you do?

I happen to be in this very situation right now. Out of respect I will try to be as anonymous as possible. This particular person...who is extremely important to me...has chosen to surround himself with someone who I have not been fond of since day one. This is not my problem...you say...because its his choice and I should just be happy for him, right?

No. And I cannot, for the life of me, be any more fake to this other person than I have been and that is not saying much. By fake I mean I am as courteous as one can be when they not only have not a thing in common with this person but when the other person in question is generally unfriendly. Unfriendly might not be the right word...anti-social, uninterested. I can't really pinpoint it at this point and it's been long enough where I should have a good grasp on this but MY GOODNESS!!!

No social skills, brings nothing to the table...we're talking barely has a pulse as far as I can tell. What is appealing about this? Not sure and at this point I can't even think about it anymore because it gives me terrible pains in my stomach.

Even with all of this pent up anger and utter unhappiness with the decisions that have been made on the part of this person who I care so much about....I still try as hard as I can to be as nice as possible. I know that's the right thing to do, but for once...JUST ONCE..I want to say what I'm really thinking. I know that may come as a surprise to some of you that I do not always say exactly what I'm thinking but it happens quite often. In some ways I'm thankful of this and in others I wish I would just let it rip and be honest.

When is the right time to say what is probably the wrong thing? Despite the fact that the wrong thing might very well be exactly what you're feeling, it is more than likely hurtful and that should never be your intention. But this particular situation has left me in such a predicament because it pains me to say nothing...but I have said close to nothing to be mindful of people's feelings. I'm sure that's the right thing but it feels wrong.

Please help..and sympathize :)

Would you Say you're Happy or just not Unhappy?

Often times...or better yet on a regular basis...I have people asking me what I'm on. I'm assuming they think I'm on some sort of drug that gives me incredible energy or just keeps me in a good mood, but after 26 years of hearing this, I have come to somewhat of a conclusion: It's pretty clear that most people aren't generally happy, but they would instead categorize themselves as not unhappy. And after this much contemplation, I am still clueless as to how everyone is settling for this.

I had someone ask me at work a while back - 'How do you stay so positive when things are so crazy around here?' So I said, "Well...why would I be negative when I could be positive?" Sounds pretty simple, right? It is and I can't seem to figure out how this seems so foreign to most everyone I come into contact with.

Is it strange that I like to sing 80s songs throughout the day at work at my desk? Probably not to the people who sit around me because it's on a regular basis at this point. Is it strange that I got some of my co-workers to do Journey over the intercom at the end of the day yesterday...at the top of our lungs? No, but only because the big boss wasn't in the office :)

Would you consider it odd that at every wedding I have been to I have had to take multiple trips to the bathroom or nearest 'towel off' area because I am sweating at such a fast pace that my dress changes colors? Hell.. I had a girl who I didn't know at this most recent wedding tell me that I had to be at her wedding. She wasn't even engaged! She says - you are a ridiculous dancer and I want you to be at my wedding. I said yes, of course.

Back to my point...why am I the strange one in these situations? Does that mean that people find it odd that there are other people out there who are just genuinely happy? If that is the case, which I think is true, then that is very very sad, my friends. And I honestly hope that after reading this blog...all 20 of you (and that's generous)...one person turns over a new leaf and starts tomorrow on the up and up. We all know that's what I would do :)

Stay classy.

Can you Ever be on the Same Page if it's Casual?

A friend recently asked me this so I figured I would ask my growing audience. Let me try to set this up nicely for you though...

Imagine yourself a deer.

Kidding. That's from My Cousin Vinny.

It may come as a surprise to some of you reading this that there are girls out there who are interested in what I've deemed 'casual relations.' I could say casual sex which is what most of you will probably think I'm referring to, but that doesn't cover it all. 'Casual relations' is like casual sex on steroids I guess. There is still the understanding that at the end of the night you're more than likely going to get laid, but...sometimes you can throw in some of the unheard of...

- Random trips to Best Buy to play Rockband...for free!
- Batting cages
- Making food...for groups of more than 2

And you get the drift. But...and here is the kicker...it's at this point where it seems impossible for both parties involved to stay on the same page. I'm assuming here that most guys think that all girls want a relationship. No matter what they say, there is no way that a girl doesn't want a boyfriend....or at least a guy who will remain relatively faithful to her. Why though? Why is there this huge cloud over girls that is just screaming with emotions, needyness, whining, shopping, apple picking and so on that sends guys to the looney bin?

Can't a girl just want to get hers too? I mean let's say...for shits sake...that the said girl in this situation has already been in a few relationships...obviously unsuccessful ones because she is now single...and she just wants to do what she wants, when she wants, with whoever she wants. When does the assuming start on the guy's end? Is it with multiple text messages in the same day? Does this mean she is needy and wants to spend all of her time with you? Or...does it just mean that she had something funny to say and thought you would find it funny too? Do guys even overthink things like this or am I taking crazy pills?

So let's help a girl out here....is there ever a mutual understanding when things are kept casual? Or is that why people ultimately want to be in relationships? Because they can't handle the ambiguity? Hmmmm.

Let's find out :)

Should Facebook be Censored?

I often find myself prefacing my entries with a statement that sounds something like, I don't mean to offend anyone, but...and then I take a step back and realize that that's the point of a blog. To discuss the often un-discussed and leave it up for debate...if that's how things pan out.

So here goes...

I originally joined Facebook for one reason: to look at pictures. In my honest opinion, this is probably how a lot of people spend their time on Facebook...well....that is before this 'Farmville' thing came into the picture. What the hell is up with that anyway? I don't get it. Anyway...pictures are a great way to keep up with people who you maybe don't do such a great job keeping in touch with. And this is to no one's fault. People fall out of touch and that is just a way of life. There are some things, however, that are not meant to be as public as Facebook makes them and I feel quite obligated to bring this to the forefront in the hopes that it will come to a screaming hault.

Let it be known that I am in envy of any woman who gives birth to a child. This is probably the most amazing thing that any woman can do and I'm sure when (if) that day works out for me I'm sure it will be the miracle of life that I have been hearing about all these years. However...and this is a HUGE however...I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in thinking that it is a little much to post pictures of your newborn AS SOON AS he/she has been removed from the womb. Not only is it probably illegal to be taking pictures in a birthing room (I should look that up but I'm not going to) but it is just not something that everyone needs to see....EVER! I will repeat the fact that YES this is an amazing thing - child birth. But there are other ways to put it on display. Here are a couple that I appreciate.

1. The ever-classy birth announcement....sent through the REGULAR MAIL. This is usually an adorable picture involving some stuffed animals that are holding the baby in place and very often is sent in black and white for dramatic effect.
2. Newspaper announcement - I'm sure this is considered old school...and may not even be available in this day and age but if it is not available, it should be reinstated because I think that has a nice personal touch to it.
3. Email announcement - This way you can select those individuals who you are close enough with to share this special moment with you...NOT all of the so-called 'friends' you have on Facebook. Own up to the fact that you don't speak...actually ever speak...to more than half of them.

And the list goes on and on. I can also say without hesitation that I unfriended someone on Facebook because she posted her sonogram for the world to see. Too...much....information. Seriously. I'm much more comfortable seeing pictures of a woman turned to the side to show the baby bump. In fact I think this is borderline adorable. But a sonogram? Isn't that sort of private? I mean that's inside your body...think about that. Would you like to see what it looks like inside of my body? Probably not. So let's keep that all to ourselves.

I think I'm done ranting here. I really want to know what you all think because as always, I feel badly for calling people out...but my goodness. Before the child is even cleaned off? That's aggressive and in my opinion uncalled for.

Please share and my apologies, as usual, for any offense taken. Just making conversation.

Goodnight all.

Let's Try Turning Questions into Decisions

After sitting in on several conversations...and just being really really ridiculously observant, I have come to recognize the fact that we live in a world that is comprised primarily of people who do not like to make decisions. And I'm sure that's for a number of reasons. You don't want to do something that people don't want to do or maybe won't find fun. If the said plans are a bust you don't want to be the one that people are pointing their finger at (which by the way...makes me think of the new, fantastic Paramore cd and my favorite line in one of the songs...Next time you point a finger I might have to bend it back and break it...break it off.) I digress.

There's probably a million and one reasons why people don't like to make decisions, but you wanna know what I think? I bet you don't so I'm going to tell you anyway. When you never make a decision..it's annoying. Especially when this happens all the time. And I'm not intending this to come across as rude. It's just something I need to get off my chest. If you want to do something...make a declarative statement (I sure hope that's the right word there cause I would feel like an ass if it wasn't).

My good friend Monaco just executed this strategy perfectly when he sent all of us an email saying that he wanted to go hiking. The email said the following: I want to go hiking and hope you can all make it. It's either going to be the 17th or 24th of October. We'll bring lunch to eat during the day and grab dinner in Hoboken. Let me know if you're in.

Perfect! There wasn't one question in there and you know what? Pretty much all of those who were invited are going and probably even a couple stragglers are coming as well. Awesome. Couldn't have been done better. Nicely played, Monaco.

And so I ask this: Please make your best effort at not asking a million questions in one day. Unless you are asking the answer to a question that you just don't know the answer to. If it involves plans of any kind...just take the leap and make the plans. Even if they are shot down...that's totally fine. It should not be viewed as a slap in the face. There is always the chance that whoever you're asking to do something with just isn't interested in doing that. And that's fine.

Let me know what you think and try not to take anything I write personally. All of this is a sweeping generalization anyhow.

Night night.

Does it get Easier?

As you've all probably gathered at this point, I have been enjoying the single life for almost exactly a year at this point and I honestly cannot say that it hasn't been the greatest year of my life. I've been able to go out and do what I want to do, hang out with whoever the hell I feel like and finally call all of the shots. Awesome.

There's just one thing that's missing and that would be any form of casual dating and/or 'relations.' I will continue to refer to this as 'relations' for the entirety of this post simply because I'm finding it funny...oh and then there's the fact that my mother and her work friends read this on occasion and I don't want to be inappropriate.

While I say that I've enjoyed single life to the fullest, it would have been nice to get some sort of 'dating' experience being that I have jumped from one relationship to another throughout my life and I was looking to get away from that all together. But let me tell you something...just dating is so much easier said than done.

In your opinion, do guys always think that girls want more than just 'relations?' Is it possible that there are actually girls out there that just enjoy hanging out and if the occasional 'relations' make their way into the equation...bonus? I get the sense that that answer is no and I don't understand. And even if you take the time to repeatedly say that you are not interested in the relationship aspect but would be perfectly fine with just 'relations,' that doesn't even make things easier. It's almost like it creates all of these other questions and in the end everyone is left to dry up like a siv.

Bottom line here...let's all just relax and accept the fact that not everyone around the age of 25-30 is interested in getting married tomorrow. Some people just like to hang out and if the occasion 'relations' takes place...super. If not...that's fine too. Enough with the questions and the over-thinking. It's never well-received.

Happy end of the Weekend.

Do We Really Mean What We Say?

In today's world of facebook, twitter, youtube, linkedin, cell phones and all of the other means of not actually communicating that I don't care to mention, it seems more apparent than ever that we have gone right ahead and eliminated verbal communication. That's not to say that I'm not guilty of taking advantage or even just dabbling in all of these social networks or just social mediums. I love YouTube! It's going to make me the rockstar that I have always dreamed of being...or at least since I discovered LBK. Either way, these outlets certainly serve a purpose...whether it be personal or professional...but there is something to be said about using them to put up a front in order to hide who you really are...and that is what I think a lot of people do.

For example, I follow some crazies on Twitter. And these are people who I am pretty sure are considered professionals in their respective fields but they always come out with the craziest tweets and it leaves me wondering if that is their real personality or if they are just trying to be funny and interesting so that people are more inclined to read what they have to say and insodoing..follow them. And with Twitter, it seems that the more you tweet, the more followers you get. And this has nothing to do really with what you're saying, but doesn't that make you feel good in a way? To know that people are 'following' you?

And this type of thing can apply to something as common as the cell phone. I'll admit...I have received some crazy texts in the past. Things that I would not repeat on this blog (you're welcome, Mom). And I have sent some as well. The large difference here, though, is that I never say things that I don't mean. I guess I'm just that messed up or something because it seems that whoever is on the other end of those messages is not coming through in the clutch...or living up to expectations. And why is this?

Why would anyone consistently say things they don't mean? Does that leave the other person wanting more? These random facebook status updates that just say....'So and so..is...' What the hell is that about? What do you mean Erin is....? Does this mean that you're just floating in space somewhere? No. This means that you are screaming for attention and want everyone or anyone to comment on your status so that you can feel important again.

I'm a huge fan of funny posts, funny videos and the rare occurrence of a text message that doesn't leave me rushing home to work out my frustrations. Let's just keep it real...and I mean that in the nicest way possible. If all of these 'sort of'' masks were taken away some day, how would we all communicate then? I'm pretty sure we would all spontaneously combust...but I hope I'm wrong.

Goodnight :)

This Guy Could Not Hang

For someone who planned to do close to nothing this weekend, I sure went all out last night. Up until this point, I had never been out in Long Branch. Hell...until they built this chic, over-priced, horrible case of eminent domain luxury shop outdoor mall - Pier Village - Long Branch was nothing to write home about. Well, things change.

So I'm going out to this place called Avenue Nuit...whose website makes it look like a scene out of The Hills and I'm not gonna lie...I was pretty intimidated. Is there going to be an insane cover? Do I absolutely have to buy a bottle of Grey Goose for $400? Am I going to be underdressed? All of these things are running through my head as I'm on my way out.

Nevertheless...me and my trusty sidekick head out to Long Branch. We get there...it's absolutely freezing outside and we have to wait on line for a couple minutes. Still not sure why but that's not the point. We get in (NO COVER :) ) and we head up to this rooftop bar. Gorgeous. Absolutely the most beautiful place that I have ever seen. Half inside...half outside. The outside looks right onto the ocean...has a huge fire going, heat lamps...and a friggin' pool that is blocked off because no one should be swimming at a bar/lounge. Actually it was blocked off because it was freezing out.

Anyway, I'm rambling here just because this place was gorgeous. So I'll get to the point. The music is awesome. I'm dancing like everyone knows I would be dancing. Pulling off moves that I didn't know I had in me. It was a fantastic time. So we meet up with the people we'll meeting up with (crazy...I know) and these guys have just come from a wedding. We're all dancing like crazy. Now... I know the one guy from another friend's party and we are putting on quite the show. Pseudo 'battling' if you will. He dips me to the floor (which I love) and whatever..we're just having a great time.

Enter little Italian guy: So the third guy in the group gets up and he wants to dance with Erin. Ok super. He's 5'5...maybe 130 pounds. But I'm all for anything so let's go. Well, therein lies the problem. This guy tries to do the same thing that his friend just did with me and straight up drops me on the floor...and then proceeds to fall right on top of me. My initial reaction is to try to brace my fall with my left arm and I swear I thought I had broken my arm. This hurt so bad (and still does) and all the while I'm lying on the floor of this chic lounge and everyone is staring at me!!! Awful. Absolutely awful.

But...the good sport that I am I just get up and rub some ice on it and continue dancing. This guy was mortified but in all honesty I was not too happy with him. Nice guy but come on pal. I'm towering over you in my 4 inch knee high boots...and no light fare...what in God's name were you thinking?

It doesn't even end there....Later on in the evening we're still dancing and one of the other guys accidently bumps into my face. Now I'm thinking I have a fat lip. JESUS! No wonder I never go out to these trendy club/lounges. These people were beating the shit out of me!

Regardless of all of these injuries, I had an absolute blast. I would definitely go back to this place (preferably as soon as possible) and I wouldn't trade the injuries for the world. Especially because it caused probably one of the funniest comments to come out of my brother's mouth this morning when I'm telling him this story:

"Er...you go out with rich people and they beat the shit out of you."

He doesn't say much but when he does...it's usually gold.

Gotta ice my forearm. Enjoy this gorgeous day!

Tip of the Day...Moreso for the Ladies

Now I know I haven't given tips in the past, but I feel as though it would be a disservice if I did not share this beautiful piece of wisdom with all of my lovely lady friends.

We are all well aware of the every day maintenance that goes into being a woman. We have to shave everything under the sun...or under our necks, pluck this, wax that..I mean it can be intensive labor. One thing that just erks me like no other is plucking my eyebrows. Now I know I can go and get them waxed..or even threaded these days - which completely freaks me out - but I don't want to spend the money. At my salon alone it's gotten up to $15! That's insane.

So what do I do, I pluck...for what seems like every single day of my life. Not good. And to top it off, I have crappy tweezers (3 pairs...all of which suck) and horrendous lighting in most of the rooms in my house. I even go as far to move from room to room to see what I'm missing. Well...you can imagine my exhilaration when I discovered that one of my favorite stores had a hidden gem.

Anthropologie... the very trendy, hippie, chic store that has graced my area with its presence happens to not only have adorable clothing BUT the most A-M-A-Z-I-N-G mirrors in their dressing rooms. So amazing that I actually went there today SPECIFICALLY to pluck my eyebrows. I mean I did go through the motions. I brought clothes into the changing room...tried them on...of course found yet another pair of Citizens for Humanity jeans that I want but can't buy (eeehheemmm..afford)...and showed my mother all of the outfits. All the while..I am plucking the shit out of my eyebrows. And boy had I missed a TON!

And so I offer up this amazing bit of information from one woman who is so tired of hair removal to the rest of you who probably feel the same. Next time you are in need of a really good plucking of the eyebrows -- do yourself a favor and hit up Anthrologie's dressing rooms. I promise it will look like you'd gotten waxed.

Happy plucking!

Do You Tell the Truth...or Sort of Lie?

I struggle with this on a regular basis. I'm not sure if it's because I'm constantly being told that I'm overwhelming, or intimidating or really really ridiculously tall, but I feel like in some way or another it's been hinted that I should not let so much of me go up front that I currently do. And here in lies my dilemma.

Should I really be obligated to 'tone it down' when talking to someone who I don't know all that well but might be sort of interested in for fear that he will run away? I know I wrote about something like this before, but I hadn't had the same experience that I had tonight (which wasn't something to write home about..so don't get all excited)...so please don't accuse me of repeating.

What is the appropriate amount of information to give to a person when having a casual conversation? Should people really care? I'm of the opinion that if someone doesn't want to know or gets turned off by something honest that I have to say to him..then that's not worth it in the long run anyway. Maybe that's why I'm single though. Who knows?

The point is this: are people really interested in getting to know a person when they meet them out side of work? Or are they more interested in someone who says what they want to hear? Someone who just looks cute and might give it up by the end of the night? I don't know the answer because I have not been successful in this area.

So let's hear it. What do you ideally talk about with a person...say at a bar...that leaves you wanting to maybe take that person out on another date..or at least leave you interested in a potential second encounter? I really want to know.

Thanks for the input.

Night night.

You Know Things Have to Get Better When...

I'm not gonna lie...I found the timing of today's event absolutely impeccable. As we all know, due to my lack in sex-related or even guy-related posts that things on the friskiness front are not exactly too hot to handle. That being said, it should come as no surprise that I had the following conversation with the man who works at the dry cleaner/alterations shop that my mother and I have been going to for years now.

I walk out of the dressing room with my bridemaid gown and heels on.
Mr. Patel: Wow. You are a great height.
Me: Yes. I'm very tall..I know.
Mr. Patel: Yes. You really are. You must have a hard time finding a boyfriend.
Me: You are absolutely right, Mr. Patel.

It was at that very moment that I realized that things have got to be turning around for the better if my dry cleaning man is recognizing the dilemma I am having meeting guys...even if we are just referring to the height situation.

And with that, I have a few general questions - mostly for the male readers.

Is it safe to say that taller women are intimidating and you associate them with very harsh, demanding personalities that make you wanna run away rather than run to the bedroom? If that is the case, then is it safe to say that men are relatively insecure...for the most part? Or maybe don't like rejection? At this point...being that I have been 'inactive' for quite some time now, rejection is a nice way of putting how I feel. And it's gotten to the point where I want some answers.

I know that I need to be more proactive because if I am correct in my statements above and men are insecure and/or afraid of rejection - I'm never going to meet someone. So what is a girl to do?

Here's the answer that my mother would say: "Erin...next time you go out just sit down the whole time. Maybe someone will come up to you because they won't be afraid of your insane dancing." This is coming from the same woman who told me to write love letters to David Carr because she thinks that as Eli Manning's back-up...he must be single and looking for a random psychopath to marry. Thanks mom.

Anyhow....as I head out for what will probably be one of the most fun nights out with the girls...I would like some answers. To be blunt, how can a girl make herself more approachable? Obviously I can't make myself shorter...nor would I want to. But I am also semi-tired of hearing about how tall I am. I'm well aware.

Thanks for the input and enjoy the weekend.

-Erin

Cornhole.

If you are offended by that title, then I will question if you have been somehow living under a rock for the past year. I have to admit that I have not been partaking in this glorious yard game as long as someone like my brother has...but now that I have started I do not anticipate stopping any time soon...well...until winter.

Cornhole is a glorious game that can be simplified by calling it a bean bag toss. It's relatively easy, somewhat competitive...depending on who you're playing with...and it's all in good fun. I would say that any party can be made significantly better if this game is included somehow. Nowadays I find that people are either sick of beer pong and flip cup and just want to drink...and drink hard. This allows you to do that with minimal effort.

Over the weekend, I was fortunate enough to get my brother's friend to let me borrow his cornhole set. Sounds dirty, doesn't it. It wasn't. Saturday was the big day...Oktoberfest. The glorious day of multiple kegs, BBQ and jam band that I have been waiting for for almost a year at this point. My boss (I say boss very loosely as he is a big little kid) throws this party every year and it's just a nice day filled with food and friends...and beer and outdoor games.

Words cannot express the impact cornhole had on this day's events. It was a bit chilly so I think everyone was shocked and dressed inappropriately so they needed something to take their mind off of their coldness and maybe beer wasn't doing it.

Cornhole to the rescue. I made friends with people instantly! It's as if this amazing game brings out the friendliness in people or something but I would go as far as to say that due to cornhole there was some good baby-making music that night...and I'm not referring to me...of course.

So I encourage you all to visit www.corntossfun.com and either invest in a set or at least take a look at what it's all about. I promise you will be happy that you did.

Maybe we can start to say 'Sack it up' and have people not take offense. Who knows?

Have a good one.

Can Singles Be Friends with the Married?

You know this comes up all the time, so I have decided to address it right here on Blindfolded. I struggle with this topic because we all know that I am not married, but I have had mostly guy friends my entire life. This was never a problem because luckily, over time, all of them have had very nice girlfriends and my friendships with them have never been an issue.

As I move beyond my close-knit group of friends, however, my friendships with men have become increasingly complicated. And when they go on to get married...forget about it. It becomes nearly impossible to remain friends. I can't quite figure out why this is the case. I've never been the cheating type. Sure there was one instance in college where I may have had a slip up, but that wasn't even a big deal. It's not like we slept together. Minus that one instance, I am of the impression that I'm a pretty stand-up person. I'm extremely open and honest with just about everyone I meet and I would think that that would mean that I am a trustworthy individual.

Why is it then that these wives, fiances, mothers of wives even...seem to have such a problem with me? I'm not going to get specific with these instances, but are people really this uptight and insecure about their relationships that they need to worry about their husband or boyfriend or even guy that their dating's friends..who happen to be girls...for fear that they will what? Hook up with them? Sleep with them? My god. If you have these types of concerns when you're married (and I can make blanket statements like this because I'm not married) I'm thinking that's not a good thing.

Now I know there are certain reasons to feel insecure or what have you. I would think that the majority of the time this is because maybe the girl/woman doesn't know me very well and just has the wrong impression. But I have been reminded of the fact that it's 'not normal' for married men to hang out with women other than their wives...without their wives. And even vice versa. A married/engaged woman apparently should not hang out with a guy by herself...without her significant other. I don't see why not and I want to know what the reason for this is.

Are people assuming that men cannot bring themselves to think about anything besides sex while being in the same vicinity as someone of the opposite sex? If that is the case, that's just dumb and I would find that hard to believe.

I want answers and I want good answers. Thank you for reading.

G'night.

Walking on the Highway

It's been quite some time since I wrote about something unrelated to my personal life or personal experiences I should say, but this has been on my mind for quite some time and I'm feeling the need to share it with my loyal listeners. Now I know everyone goes through a daily routine during the work week...or for the purposes of this blog I am assuming that we all do. And our daily commutes are probably very similar from day to day as well. I, unfortunately, have not been blessed over the years with a pleasurable commute. Rather, I have had the 'pleasure' of driving at least 50 miles each way to work for the past 4+ years. You know you're jealous.

As it turns out, I have come to notice one very common occurrence in the morning. People are walking on the highway. Highway 35 to be exact. For those who maybe not be familiar with this road, this is what I will consider the busiest highway in my area- maybe even all of Monmouth County. I cannot seem to wrap my head around actually walking on a highway. And so, over time, I have developed some assumptions as to why these people are endangering their lives on a regular basis.

Assumption #1: They are dealing with some sort of DUI/DWI situation in which their license was revoked and so now they have to walk everywhere. Believe it or not, there are buses that will take you around my area, but what do I know?

Assumption #2: Their car was repossessed and they have no other means of transportation.

Assumption #3: They are partaking in what will now be known as the most shameful walk of shame in the history of walks of shame. Because you wanna hear something crazy? This isn't even always men walking on the highway! Women are apparently out of their minds as well.

I'm not sure which of these, if any, is accurate, but I sure hope it's #3 because that makes this funny instead of sad.

Either way, just wanted to get that out in the open. I'm sure that you will now notice more people walking around your area on the highway thanks to reading this, so your welcome. Please feel free to provide me with some assumptions of your own in terms of why these folks aren't in cars or buses or what not. Who knows? Maybe this big energy..let's all be 'green' bandwagon has people taking things to the streets...literally.

Enjoy the lovely weather Everyone!

Our Obsession with Television

You may think that this could be a first hand example of the pot calling the kettle black (never quite understood that old saying but I love using it), but, it has become incredibly apparent to me that the majority of people are obsessed with television. Now this is a person who hasn't really committed to a show since the end of Sex and the City and Friends. These happened to be my two favorite shows and they ended in the same year. You can imagine my devastation.

Certainly it has been my own personal decision to not become attached, or even interested, in any other shows. Whether that is due to my sheer dedication to my former TV addiction or some other stubborn behavior disorder, I am just completely uninterested in starting over and getting to know all new people. Instead, I find complete happiness and even fulfillment in watching 27 Dresses every single time it is on HBO...no matter what point in the movie it is. Now THAT'S an obsession.

To get to the point, I have legitimately been upstaged by TV shows on more than one occasion. This is not to say that some of my friends would rather watch TV than hang out with me because that would just be ludicrous. But there have been times when I have asked someone to hang out and I get something like, 'Oh I can't...my show starts tonight.' Or 'I'm gonna have to get going because I have 2 hours of DVR to catch up on before my show starts up again in a couple days.'

Really? 2 hours of straight TV? Again...this is something that I definitely did in college when I would watch my Sex and the City DVDs so often that the cases have completely fallen apart. BUT...and this is a huge BUT...I would never ever in a million years pass up hang out time to watch a show. I don't care if this was the season finale or whatever. First of all...that's why we are so blessed to have DVR nowadays; but more importantly, how do you know that your decision to not go out or hang out that night won't turn out to be the best night of your life? You don't...and if you maintain your firm grip to your plasma...you never will.

So let me hear your thoughts. What is this obsession with TV? Why can't we step away and actual experience life instead of watching people pretend to live their 'real' lives on the television. While I know I don't lead the most exciting life...especially with my current lack of sexual activity...I know that a night out at Live Band Karaoke (LBK) is much better than an episode of Gossip Girl. But what do I know?

Enjoy and goodnight.

So You're Sitting at the Bar....

We have all experienced this moment. If you haven't then you have either been living a sheltered life or are regretting that you haven't experienced this awkward moment in single life. So as we all know, I have been enjoying the single life for just about a year now. All in all...I have no complaints. Certainly I cannot admit to have had the best luck dating. For whatever reason my overwhelming personality does not translate into the dating world. I can't quite figure it out but I will and report back.

One thing I noticed tonight got me thinking that this exact situation happens to me quite often while I'm out and I don't seem to know how to fix it so I am looking to all of you for advice. So imagine this scenario:

You are sitting at the bar with a friend..doesn't matter guy or girl...and that person gets up to go to the bathroom. So now you're there by yourself. You inevitably dig for your phone and either pray that you have received a text from someone who you know will be a good distraction for the next five minutes. This would be the avid texter who you know is good for say 3-4 back and forth texts. Even if you don't have a text you will just stare at your phone and scroll through your pictures if you have to in order to pass the time until you are no longer alone.

Now...at the same moment that you (and when I say you I mean me too. I just did this tonight for crying out loud.) are sitting there rudely scrolling through your phone...you happen to be sitting directly next to some semi-attractive people at the bar. In the rarist of instances this person will go as far as to speak to you (gasp!!). Tonight's conversation went like this:
Guy: 'Excuse me...what kind of beer do you have there?'
Me: 'This is actually the Belgian Witbier.'
Guy: 'Is it good?
Me: 'Oh yeah. It's actually really good. If you like white beer.. very similar to Hoegarden.'
Guy: 'Oh really? That's cool.'

And then my friend came back from the bathroom and that was over. I don't think I even looked in his direction again. I mean to be clear here, this guy was not overly attractive and could have been a sophomore in college for all I know. That's not the point. The point is, I'm outgoing in every other aspect of my life. Even at work nowadays! I'll basically say whatever it is I'm thinking and that's not to say this is a good thing but I am not afraid to speak my mind the way I used to be. Why is it that this is not easily transitioning into my non-existent 'game?'

Can all of my loyal readers explain that to me because this single lady needs a clue...or a date. Either way, I'm interested.

Yours truly,
The shy bafoon

Attitude is Your Greatest Asset

Take that as you will, but I am a firm believer in the statement above. Beyond everything else, it is your attitude...your take on life and what drives you to make the decisions you do...that guides you every day. And it has been brought to my attention - indirectly of course - that if you do not have this aspect of 'you' figured out...you are in for an interesting ride.

These statements can be applied to all aspects of life. For the point of this blog...and me getting better at linking to other articles...I will keep this to the work setting. One of the marketing industry's finest guru's, Mr. Seth Godin, wrote his blog today about 'The hierarchy of success."

He emphasizes how so often we are focused on the outcomes of certain projects that we fail to reflect how our work will be perceived by the outside world. What do we think of what we're doing and how do we want others to view it? What feelings do you want the world to get when they look at your work?

Things like that. It's a thought-process like this that separates the good from the great. The Mickelsons' from the Woods'. You get the drift. It's what makes us awesome. And this same principle should be readily applied to how we as individuals approach our own individual roles in the larger agency setting (or whatever setting allows you to relate to this blog post). It's a shame that over time we all fall into ruts. That we all become victim to the robotic way of the working world where there is little effort put into everything that you are doing or you are trying to get to so many things at once that you are not completing any of them to the fullest. There has to be a better way.

If that were the case, everyone would be mediocre...and who wants that? It's my opinion that everyone should want to be great at what they do. Hell... I walked into WaWa the other day and I've never seen or heard a happier employee than the man who was working behind the deli counter. He was yelling and cheering and just overall high on life. I, of course, felt the need to tell him that I really appreciated his energy...and that the only reason that he had that energy was because of the WaWa coffee he was drinking. He laughed. I got the energy man to laugh...who knew?

Anyway, the point is this...

No matter what you do in your every day life or how much you like your job on any given day...it is SO important to have a distinguished attitude...or a personality that gives you a voice. Have a say. Otherwise...you will be a fly on the wall and we all know what happens to flies on the wall... people try to swat at them at any given moment. Not cool.

Think about it and let me know how it goes. I would like to say that I promise it is this thought process that will help you find yourself...in some way, shape or form....and that's if you haven't already.

I hope to hear good things. G'night.

It's the Simple Things in Life

Most likely when people get home from work on Fridays they are going to do one of two things: go out or stay in. I understand there is a lot in the middle there, but to keep this short and sweet I'm sticking to that. I'm sure most people reading are under the impression that I more often than not fall into the 'go out' category. This is true to an extent. I think it's due to the fact that I feel like I've been a caged animal for the past several years and I'm finally spreading my wings. Plus, sitting around makes me feel lazy.

But there are many a time when I want to stay home and relax. As it turns out... I ALWAYS find a reason to go out...even if it's just to someone else's house to watch TV in my pajamas...I'm still leaving my house. Which is why I am in my absolute glory right now. As soon as I got home today I literally walked into my room and free-fell backwards onto my bed. What an amazing feeling! I have my down comforter out...but not laid out fully on the bed and it was like falling into a marshmellow. Incredible.

And that's really all I wanted to say here. Despite how childish and probably lame that action sounds..I encourage everyone to free fall onto their bed every now and again. It's a relief. If I take my own advice I'll stay in my bed tonight...but we'll see.

Have a nice night All!

Football = My Significant Other

As I sit in my bed after yet another long day at work I am thankful for so many things.
#1. I got to wear my Eli Manning jersey all day at work.
#2. I spent most of the day not in the office and a portion of the day shopping at Babies 'R' Us for a client.
#3. Lunch was delicious even though it was the same as what I get every other day of the week.
#4. And this is the big one...after what felt like the longest hiatus, FOOTBALL is BACK!

So many other people are probably just as excited about the return of the NFL as I am. However...for those of you who truly truly know me know that I spend my Thursday nights in my rockstardom glory at LBK at The Downtown. Typically I look forward to this as soon as I leave around 1AM on Friday morning until I go back at 9:30PM the following Thursday night. It's just what I do.

Not tonight. Despite the fact that my team isn't playing until Sunday, I have loved every minute of the Steelers/Titans game thus far..even though neither team has scored a point and the game has lacked any signs of Super Bowl aspirations...but that's just me being biased. I am in fact sitting here writing this in my vintage Giants pajamas. Yes I am a nerd.

So how is it...you may ask...that someone who is AS obsessed with LBK and karaoke in general can just pass up a night of rocking the %^&* out for what is turning out to be a pretty mediocre football game? I'll tell you how...

Football has been the love of my life for many years now. Sure...it's disappointing and frustrating at times...but if it was effortless and predictable, I don't think I would watch as religiously as I do. I love the struggles...the yelling...and the constant misunderstandings that I have with people like Kevin Gilbride who refuses to change up the play calling and hit Kevin Boss for a short pass that he'll inevitably catch and hurdle people to get into the endzone. But we always make it through the games unharmed and full of life and excitement. Who doesn't want that in a relationship?

And so while I move closer to the date that will mark one full year that I have been completely single I have one comment to make: this has probably been one of the most fun-filled, action-packed years that I've had in quite some time and while there are several factors and individuals to thank for this...I would have to say that football continues to play a vital role in everything I do and for that I am forever indebted....and in love.

Let's go Big Blue!

Hot Mess of a Tuesday

After a nice 3-day weekend, one would think that the first day back in the office would be somewhat civilized. Oh no. Never. And it is for that exact reason that I will spend the majority of this post ranting about some of the many nonsense-like occurrences of my day.

First and foremost...it has become quite discouraging to sit back and watch people in positions of authority in my business simply apply zero effort to their every day activity. I mean people who work in marketing not really caring what their marketing materials look like? Are you kidding me? I felt like reaching through the phone today on several occasions. Now I know that I can be the naive optimist some of the time. Okay...all of the time...but that doesn't mean that I'm wrong here. Of course it's rare in this day and age to love your job. Hell...I would say the majority of people nowadays would love to get a new job but the economy has just gone to shit or they don't know what they want to do or they realized recently that they want to do nothing but that doesn't pay well.

However, why wouldn't you want to do your job well ANYWAY?!?! I mean even if it's 'just because.' I don't get it. I had someone ask me today how much progress I had made on something while she was out of the office? I said, "Excuse me? Was I supposed to do your job while you were away?" Yeah I don't think so. Needless to say I tried to keep that conversation short. I would go into more detail here but I probably shouldn't. I'd rather move on.

Right after having the above conversation, I get an interesting email in my Gmail account saying that someone has sent me a message on Facebook. I know the name but I also know that we are not friends on Facebook and I can pretty much tell where that comment is going. After opening and reading the very short, to-the-point message my only reaction was that I will not have a response. My mother always said, "If you don't have anything nice to say...don't say anything at all." But again I leave myself wondering...how do people have it in them to say hurtful, rude, out of context, discouraging comments to people who are genuinely happy, nice people? I will never understand this.

While there are several other items I could dive into here, I will refrain as I never know who is reading this and I never intend to hurt anyone's feelings. On the contrary, I would hope that whatever I write is looked at as constructive criticism which I welcome on a daily/hourly basis. How else can we all get better at what we do and in turn, become better people in the long run?

It's not as hard as it seems. Just lighten up...and work harder for crying out loud. Any thoughts, comments or concerns? Please share. Have a good one.

Erin

Are You Kidding Me Verizon?

Let this stand as my short and sweet rant about an awful experience I had tonight at Verizon. Let me preface this story by saying that this is not the first or second time I have had to go through this process...BUT THE THIRD! After several months, my phone seems to decide that she has had enough and she just shuts down. So far she has done this by just shutting off all the time and more recently by eliminating the functions of all of the keys on the front of the phone...and yes...that's including the Send key. Fantastic.

So I go to Verizon on my way home from work because I have received my new phone in the mail and I need to get my contacts transferred. And what does the 'greeter' do to me? She throws me to the wolves by putting me with a man who can only be classified as 'not all there.' And that's the nicest way to put this. This guy is lacking any sort of customer service gene that would even remotely qualify him for the job he currently holds as a customer service representative. Nevertheless, I have to stand there while he fumbles with my phone, reaches down below his desk to take out his glasses because he can't see, squints a lot, blinks, walks away randomly for 10 minutes. I mean you name it and this guy was not taking care of it. End of story.

Once he's done with my contacts - 30 minutes later - I ask him again how I am supposed to get my photos out of my old phone into my new one. He says, "Well...we recommend a memory card for that." NO SHIT! I've already told you that I need to buy one. How about you get that for me? My goodness!

So he comes back 15 minutes later with the memory card and he has no idea how to work it. He throws me onto another lady who is rude and I finally decide to just take matters into my own hands and walk out with all of my things and say to myself - I'm better off figuring this out on my own. And here we are now.

It never ceases to amaze me that the people whose sole purpose in life is to make others' lives easier are more often than not doing the opposite. Isn't that ironic?

Please share your thoughts. Thanks.

Honesty Honestly

Due to recent occurrences and/or me just noticing more about myself lately, I am feeling the need to address a topic that I'm sure the majority of people struggle with on a regular basis: honesty. The fact that this is something that people struggle with is a topic in and of itself...but for another time.

I'm sure this is more geared toward the ladies...being that we are more inclined to take offense or at the very least..express/feel emotions after someone says something to us that we may or may not agree with...but that is besides the point. That is more relatable to friendly relations anyhow...hanging out in small groups, shopping trips, slumber parties...whatever it is that people are doing nowadays that involves discussion and opinion of some sort. There is always the small chance of that one hint of honesty ruining the evening. But why? Why is it that everyone is so afraid of the truth?

You know what? I can't even say that I don't struggle with this on a regular basis. Anyone who knows me...or will after I say this...knows that I don't like diamonds. Never have. Never will. Well guess what that means? Every time one of my very good friends shows me her engagement ring, I'm not going to tell her that I don't like it because I don't like diamonds. That's very rude and I would never do that. Instead, I find happiness in the simple fact that she is getting married and her excitement excites me and that's what I love about the ring. I rarely love the ring (sorry ladies...I truly mean no offense when I say that).

But now bring this to the workplace. I can NEVER EVER EVER say what I really want to say at work to people who I think need to be put in their place...because I would be fired. But seriously...what the hell is wrong with some people? I swear some people wake up in the morning and say to themselves...how can I make 'insert the name of the person they like the least at their office''s day awful? You wanna hear a story? I once stopped on my way to work and bought bagels for my office. No big deal. I love that type of thing. I figure this is my way of helping people who may not be morning people...start their days off right. Super. So I get to work, send out an email saying that there are bagels in the kitchen and then I head upstairs to set everything up. As soon as I get up there (now keep in mind...this is well before 9AM) this woman walks into the kitchen. She says to me, "Erin..did anyone ever tell you that you're the nicest person ever?" I obviously just look up at her and say...thank you. Immediately following this very nice, and unnecessary compliment...the same woman proceeds to say (still before 9AM), "Now Erin...I have to tell you something. I hate to be a pain...but YOUR VOICE is SO LOUD. It carries ALL THE WAY DOWN THE HALLWAY. You REALLY need to keep it down."

Talk about honesty. My goodness. Here I just brought this lady breakfast and that's what I get? Of course...I do not have it in me to say something like, "You know what...my voice may be loud but at least whatever it is that's coming out of my mouth is positive in some way. You...on the other hand...may in fact be the most condescending person I have ever met. Try to keep your thoughts to yourself...unless you are capable of saying something nice. Thanks." See...I never said that...and I will always wish I did.

Whether you are in the work place or out with friends, you should always, always, always say how you really feel. Regardless of if it is something he/she actually wants to hear, if they are any type of friend or colleague, they will benefit from knowing the truth. Just to make myself COMPLETELY clear..this point only holds true if what you are being honest about is truly genuine. Otherwise, it is a moot point.

So let's hear it. How often are you honest with your friends? And when you're not...why weren't you?

Think about it and tell me tomorrow...Please.

Goodnight.

Such a Slap in the Face

I think the average person who knows me would say that I'm the happiest...or craziest person they know. Of course, I agree with this...for the most part at least. I would not classify my every day activities or behaviors as crazy. In fact, my mother just told me this morning that I'm 'high on life.' This was in reaction to two weeks of people at LBK asking me straight up if I'm on drugs. One time I didn't even know the person. Real nice.

Anyway, the slap in the face. Yes. Here's the thing. While I'm very happy...and have been for quite some time. Years in fact. But single life has made me happier than I ever thought I could be. There is just this one thing that's missing. Sex. Being single, at least for me, has been lacking sex on any sort of regular basis. Which is fine. I've been lacking consistent good sex for pretty much my entire life (ouch) but that's fine. The real kicker is this....

Every day I have a routine. I wake up, I make my bed and then I take a shower. After I get out of the shower and get dressed and what not, I go to my dresser and I take my trusty bc pill. If you can't figure out what that is, you're slow. And every morning when I take this 'precautionary' pill, I am reminded of the fact that I'M NOT EVEN HAVING SEX! And who needs that reminder every day?

It's bad enough that a couple of weeks ago...when I was in the Emergency Room twice in a three-day period...I had the idiots ask me to take yet another urine test after taking one 2 days prior and their reason being, "We need to confirm that you're not pregnant." I said (while in excruciating pain in my LUNGS).."Look. I am not taking another one of these tests. I did this 2 days ago and I can go right ahead and tell you that I'm NOT pregnant...so let's not talk about this anymore. " It was quite comical.

So I guess this is what I get for having nothing else to complain about for the most part. A reminder, every day, that while single life has been great...any sort of dry spell is not. At least I know that when things pick up again...hopefully soon...that I'll be prepared.

Lot of information in this post. I hope everyone can handle it. Enjoy the rain this weekend.

How 'That Guy' Can Ruin Your Night Out

Please do not take this as some angry, hate blog as that is never my intention with Blindfolded. I would rather this blog be used as some sort of insight-haven or rather a crap shoot for meaningful occurrences that happen in every day life. Tonight's activities can be summed up in two words: creepy men.

Why is it that they are more likely to come up to you at a bar than someone who you might actually be interested in speaking to and .....oh my....even possibly going out on a regular date with? What the shit is up with that? And these people aren't just regular creepy. They want to come up and hover over you while you're trying to have a normal conversation with friends. What kind of a first impression is that?

First off - you're being very rude interrupting a good conversation. Secondly, are you kidding me? Why, ON EARTH, would anyone in their right mind want to speak to someone who says (in a creepy, serial killer kind of voice), "I just wanna come over and say hello." And then awkwardly stand there after I politely say hello back and try my best not to say something along the lines of, "Are you kidding me right now, buddy? Do I seem uninterested? Because I am."

Fortunately for these lunatics, I don't have it in me to be rude to people. I'm not sure why, but it's just not one of my talents. My beautiful friend Nicole on the other hand...has and always will tell it like it is. So she says to this guy, "Hey. Could you not touch us or talk to us while we are here? We are trying to have a good time and you're really creeping us out." Gotta love the honesty.

And so I ask...as I always do...why is it that this type of man has no shame when going up to a girl who he knows 100% of the time she is going to either ignore him, try to ignore him or just get up and leave where he is now sitting and guys who know how to behave like normal human beings on a regular basis cannot seem to muster up the balls to communicate with females in a coherent fashion? As if that sentence was coherent.

Just think about that and please get back to me.

Goodnight!

Living Life to the Fullest

Tonight's entry was going to go in a completely different direction until my ride home just now. I spent a lovely, romantic evening with my friend Adrienne....walking along the beach and having a nice meal watching the sun go down at Dockside in Sea Bright. All very cute...I know. As we start our trip home, we decide...of course..to blast Kings of Leon. This is the 'all of a sudden they are the coolest band in the world so now Monaco doesn't like them as much' big summer band. Anywho...we are listening to their latest CD, 'Only By the Night.' Very good stuff.

So we're listening to my favorite song on the CD, 'Be Somebody' and I'm rocking out like the ship's about to go down...all while driving, yes. It's fine. When you have as much energy as I do, these things come very naturally. So I'm rocking out...singing into my always faithful cell phone microphone...when a Jeep pulls up to me and honks their horn. I can't look to the side to see who it is, so instead I continue my jam session. Adrienne looks over at me and says- was that Dan and Christina?? I look up at the Jeep that's now in front of me to see that it is in fact Dan and Christina. He had just taken her out to dinner for her birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS)...what a nice guy.

Well we pull into the jug handle to get onto Leonardville Road back to my house and I notice that I have a text message from Christina. I open it up to read, "HAHA Dan was just like look at that girl in front of us...she's rocking out. its probably Bijas." And it was!!!

How hysterical is that? I laughed the rest of the way home. When I got home to tell my mom that story the only thing that she could do (besides laugh and probably think to herself...christ my daughter is crazy) was say that that reminded her of The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. One point that he made, which really speaks to my overall viewpoint on life...

"President Cohen, when I told him I was going to do this talk, he said, please tell them about having fun, because that’s what I remember you for. And I said, I can do that, but it’s kind of like a fish talking about the importance of water. I mean I don’t know how to not have fun. I’m dying and I’m having fun. And I’m going to keep having fun every day I have left. Because there’s no other way to play it."

So there you have it. At this very moment in my life I can honestly say that I have mastered the art of living life to the fullest. And that is with close to zero dollars at most times and just a ton of really awesome friends. I encourage you all to do that same and be that person the next time someone pulls up next to you in your car while you're rocking out. I guarantee it puts a smile on your face.

Goodnight.

My Only Addiction

I decided to change things up a bit with this post. For the most part, I tend to write about observances or just interesting occurrences that I think people would, for the most part, be interested in reading about. In the interest of keeping things new and fresh, I'm going to share something with my loyal readers that they may already know...but maybe not.

For the past couple of months I have truly had an amazing time...all the time. There is one activity that I have made a habit and that is Live Band Karaoke. Some like to call it LBK but I'm not sure that that's catching on...ever. Anyway, when I say that this is a great time, that is a complete understatement. Live Band Karaoke has become my one addiction in life. It combines my favorite things: singing, dancing and rocking out. What more can a person ask for?

While karaoke leaves me with an overwhelming sense of joy and rockstardom, it's also an opportunity for me to enjoy my other favorite thing in life: watching other people have a fantastic time. See...I am very lucky. I was blessed with this amazing ability to have fun no matter what I'm doing. Just the other day at Live Band Karaoke, I had a guy come up to me and say, "Are you on drugs?" Shockingly enough I didn't smack this clown in the face, but rather told him no and walked away. Always taking the high road....

Just a little known fact: I DO NOT drink when I go to karaoke...for the most part. The last few times I have spent zero dollars. Some may say that's incredibly strange and probably dumb. I just think it's awesome. Enough about me though...back to the point of this blog.

Karaoke seems to bring out the best in everyone. I've never seen people have more fun than when I'm at The Downtown on Thursday nights. There is no judgment, no nasty looks (or maybe I can't see them because my hair is spinning around my body and covering my face cause I'm a heavy metal rockstar) and no BS. It's a guaranteed good time and I will even go as far as to say that it is the one after work activity that everyone can do and doesn't have to worry about anything. No matter how shy, scared or awful you are at singing, Live Band Karaoke promises a good time...even if you're just watching. I seem to struggle to stay in my seat, but I know plenty of people who go and just watch other people have good time. It's incredible.

So there you have it. A little something about me. My one and only addiction is Live Band Karaoke and the reason: because there is nothing better than watching people have the best time of their lives. Exaggeration? Maybe. But maybe come by this Thursday and see for yourself. I always promise people a great time.

See you Thursday!

Sometimes Interns Find Their Way into your Home

Tonight's post comes at the 'request' of some friends..and/or years of listening to and living through experiences similar to those that I will write about. Hopefully everyone reading has had prior interaction with interns at work that will help in understanding this post; however, I can say up front that the women reading will more than likely appreciate this far more than the men, but it's still an interesting observation.

I will preface what I am about to write with a little *This post is in no way, shape or form meant to hurt anyone's feelings, but rather shed light on some interesting topics. Interns in a work setting play a very valuable role in the every day activities of an agency. Their commitment and work ethic has the capability of truly enhancing an agency's quality of work. However...and this is a big however...every now and again you get a couple of doozies. These interns will be the focus of this post.

I'm not quite sure how this happens, but every time I have had to work with interns, there are always a couple who are just not as motivated as I would like them to be. Maybe that's me being unrealistic, just simply a bitch, or too demanding, but...all I'm asking for is a little enthusiasm for the profession that you SEEM TO THINK you want to get into. Well here's what happens with these ones. You give them an assignment that is very well-explained, detailed and always always always say to ask questions if you have them. The final product in this instance is sub-par (to be generous). In no way is this the assignment you have given and you have to now spend your time re-doing the entire project. WHAT A WASTE! I often ask myself why I don't just do these assignments on my own.

And that brings me to my next point. This type of behavior often finds its way into relationships, whether they be live in or not (but more than likely live-in) and I'm finding it borderline unacceptable.

Despite the fact that we are living in the 21st century, there seems to be some preconceived notion that women have certain responsibilities and men have others. I'm not, in any way, going feminist on this post, but just bringing up a point. Why is it that women are more prone to clean, cook, do laundry, and men...more often than not...find their way out of these activities? I'm going to tell you why. Because when it comes down to it, women have little to no patience for things being done in a way that is in any way less than her standards. And so here's what happens. A woman/girlfriend...whatever... will ask her husband/boyfriend to maybe clean the bathroom or vacuum the house. Seems simple enough, right? Of course not. Nothing ever is.

Here's what happens. At the same moment that you have asked your whoever to clean the bathroom and vacuum the house....you are doing something else in a cleaning capacity (laundry, dishes, dusting, etc.). All of a sudden you hear some yelling from the bathroom, "Hun...what do I use to clean the toilet?" Response: "Toilet bowl cleaner." Very slow and unwilling to learn man in the bathroom, "Which one is the toilet bowl cleaner?" Response: Under your breathe, "Are you f'n kidding me?"

And here's where I say...and never to myself because I get too frustrated to hold it in, "It's okay hun...I'll clean the bathroom. You just sit down and relax." Why on EARTH would I want to sit there for an hour, answering questions, walking in and out of the bathroom to see what all of the commotion is when I can just do it all myself? Are we getting to the moral of this story?

Men are like interns. While they can (and do), from time to time, serve a very valuable purpose, they also very often will do things wrong or just in an awful fashion all together so that they are never asked to do them again. It's very sneaky, I know.

I would like to know how this is acceptable and if anyone has any stories they can share that will maybe change my opinion on this complete generalization I am making here. I always love to hear what you all have to say.

Thank you and goodnight!

Hurry Up and Wait

Now I am pretty positive that both men and women do this to each other on a regular basis, so no one has to go ahead and assume that this blog is sexist in any way. I certainly hope that's not the consensus but I never know. I'm very misunderstood.

So imagine you have made plans with your significant other, acquaintance, anyone...and you set a time and a place to meet. Or even better, you plan to meet up at that person's house. Now you're ready to rock and roll when you get there. Hell..nowadays, you're lucky if the person gets out of the car to come to the door to get you (this is obviously more of a date situation) as they are more likely to text you from the car to come outside. Real romantic, right?

Let's pretend for a minute that you go to the door and knock to get the person you're waiting for and they come to the door in their pajamas. Yup. That's right. They have taken zero time and put in zero effort to be ready on time and now you have to wait for them. Awesome. Just what I wanted to do tonight. Sit around while you ask me what you should wear, where are we going, do you really want to go there? I want to stay in. Let's just watch a movie. Ugh. It all makes me sick. And I would imagine this makes most people very angry and leads to things like road rage, violent behavior, the single lifestyle.

Why does this happen? Is it laziness? Uninterest? Boredom? I have no clue because I would like to believe that I would never make someone wait around for me. Or ever encourage sitting around and doing nothing unless it's cold and raining out. Sitting around when it's cold and/or raining out is fantastic and there's nothing better. But any other time. Awful.

And so here is my advice. Take it or leave it. I recommend taking it if you have even the slightest interest in making someone happy. Just be ready on time. Take the time to get your shit together and go out and have a good time. Everyone will benefit in the long run and it's the right thing to do. So just do it.

Thank you and good night.