Just Tell Me!

One of my fellow co-workers (if I can call him that) brought up what I hope will be an interesting blog topic for the evening and something that I hope you can all comment on. This particular topic may be difficult for a lot of people to react to - simply because we are all constantly being put into awkward situations where we will do our very best to avoid actually telling each other the truth - HOWEVER - if we have figured me out at this point we know that I am always in favor of being honest. And I'll just go ahead and say why - because if anyone knows me (I guess if they don't, this is a moot point) they know that I would never intentionally hurt someone's feelings - ever. It's just that simple. If something I say happens to be taken a certain way and a person's feelings are hurt - then I would be truly sorry. We all know that the truth hurts sometimes - but to that I say that as long as the end result is the bettering of a person - I am all for it. If it's truly a friend (or whoever) - he or she will get over it.

And now onto the topic after that rambling that just happened. Sorry about that. So today - at work - I was just in yet another meeting for the day and this was a lot more casual than other meetings - and with this 'pseudo co-worker' when I proceeded to tell him that I thought he came across as arrogant. I wasn't trying to be rude - simply expressing to him the vibe that he gives off. And to that he says - 'Has anyone ever told you how you come off to other people?' I said no. After a moment of silence in the name of awkwardness I guess - I asked him - 'Well are you going to tell me?' And he said no.

Which brings me to the point..finally. How on earth can we be expected to fix the never-ending flaws in our personalities, character...however you want to put it.. if no one is telling us what's wrong with us... or how we are coming across to people in what I can only assume is in a negative way. I'm assuming this is contributing to the reason why so many people do not like and/or get along with so many other people for years on end... and yet they continue to be 'friends.' It all makes no sense to me.

I believe - and call me crazy - that there is a way to very diplomatically tell someone about his/her personality flaws. And this would not involve any tears, therapy or removal of friendships on Facebook. I understand that this all depends on the person in question - but if people are genuinely interested in being good people (which I know is a separate topic all together) then they will take this criticism for what it is - constructive criticism - and turn it into a positive. I see no reason to do anything else with it.

Thank you and that concludes my 'I'm living in an idealistic world' speech for the evening. I hope you all have a pleasant event. Goodnight.

To Go or Not to Go

Seems like a ridiculous predicament BUT this past weekend was the first of what I'm sure will be many of these scenarios and I figured I would pose the question sooner rather than later. So imagine this completely hypothetical situation:

You were dating someone who you have known for a long long time - so you've known their friends for a really long time and all get along really well. When you break up - I assume there is somewhat of a disclaimer about staying friends with the ex's friends. However, what happens when these friends happen to be friends of yours too - even though you have never actually hung out with them without the other person? That is more than likely more of a coincidence than anything else - just to clarify that previous statement. What is a person to do in this particular situation?

All sorts of questions are going through my mind so maybe I'll just write some of them down so that I can get everyone on the same page as me:

- If you are invited to hang out with these people - do you go even though there is a strong chance the ex might be there? And if you happen to be the type of person who embraces awkward moments - this is a question that does not factor in if you would be fine with seeing the ex or not.

- If you have no one to go with you to the above-mentioned hang out - but really want to go - what do you do?

- Do you assume that the people there think that you're hanging out with them simply because you want to see how the ex is doing or even worse - with the hope of running into the ex?

- Or do you just say fuck it and go and have yourself a great time and not worry about all of the nonsense that clogs our brains when these things happen?

Well, if you know me at this point, you know which of the above I actually did when this past weekend's events presented themselves to me. And I'll tell you what - I could not have been happier with my decision.

Regardless of the fact that I seem to have handled the situation the way I wanted to - I am still curious to see what the general public thinks of this scenario. So please enlighten me.

And I hope you all had a lovely weekend.

Cheers.

For Christina and Dan...

Every now and again I - very fortunately - get to take a break from my daily thought process which often involves questioning human behavior in general - to write about my amazing friends. In this particular instance, I could not be MORE excited to be writing about how my very best friend in the whole world - Miss Christina Hoarle - just got engaged to her very long time boyfriend, Dan.

Despite knowing that this was coming for quite some time now, it in no way takes away from my sheer bliss that this day has arrived. I will do my very best to keep this short as to not embarrass Christina and hopefully say my congratulations in a succinct way.

Knowing this wonderful woman back when she was just a little girl - with the most adorable side ponytail you have ever seen - I feel so lucky to be around for what is bound to be the greatest day of her life. Regardless of her endless achievements, successful career and quite possibly one of the most amazing families ever, there is one thing that she has yet to experience and that is the spotlight. For the 20-something years (wow) that I have known her, Christina has and continues to be the most selfless and thoughtful girl I have ever met. She takes after her mother in her - what can I get for you.. eat...eat.. eat...mentality; her - I'll help you out with that.. I'd love to come with you to do this attitude - even though her insane job has her working upwards of 80 hours a week at times.

And with all of that - she has still turned out to be an absolutely amazing friend, sister, daughter and now fiance and I really cannot describe in words how happy I am for her.

Chris - I know we say this all the time but I feel lucky every day to have you as my friend and I really could not be happier for you at this time in your life.

And Dan - don't think I forgot about you - there isn't a guy out there who is more suited, more hands-on or who would ever love her more than you do...and I'm so confident when I say that. Seeing you guys together over the past 5 years has made me so happy and so hopeful that someday I'll be able to have the type of relationship that the two of you have - maybe minus all of the manual labor :)

I love you two so much and wish you nothing but all of the happiness in the world. Congratulations.

Cheating or Nothing

After a couple of requests and a conversation here and there I'm feeling inclined to write about this to see what people think. I'll try to keep it short and sweet - since the recent posts after the hiatus have been a bit on the lengthy side.

Let's pretend you're looking in at this from the outside of the situation. If you were in a relationship with someone and you could have the choice between the relationship ending because he/she cheated on you OR to just be dumped clear out of nowhere with no given reason and no way to change the situation yourself or do anything differently to change the situation - which would you choose?

I understand that neither of these outcomes are ideal - but for shit's sake - let's say you absolutely had to choose one? Which would it be? Being that I have lived through both of these - I am 100% inclined to say that I would - without a doubt in my mind - prefer to be cheated on then left out to dry with no explanation or reasoning. The latter leaves you confused, slightly crazy and just all together thinking WHAT THE *uck! on a regular basis - and who wants anything to do with that?

And sure - when someone cheats on you that leaves you insecure, wondering why on earth would he/she do something like that to you - but - you can normally chalk it up to the other person being an idiot because if you're confident enough in yourself as a person - you would know that it's that person's loss if they let you go. And you really have to believe that - or at least work on yourself as a person until you believe that.

So what do you think? I'm very interested so please share.

And have a great weekend.

Jealousy is Another Way of Saying...

It's funny how random my blog topic selection is, and while I will keep this one completely anonymous, I will say that it was a result of something that I saw on Facebook (how shocking). Despite knowing that what I saw wasn't true jealousy, it did spark a thought in my always-churning brain that made me want to write this down. It's either that or I am avoiding posting the two blog posts that I wrote both during and post break-up so we'll just stick with the latter here :)

In regards to jealousy, I have to say that I believe Webster has gotten it all wrong - at least when you're talking about jealousy in relationships. I have absolutely no comment on jealousy when it comes to friendships or just in general in life when people are jealous of other people. I'd like to believe that it is more envy on that person's part but when all is said and done - people ultimately do not wish good things on other people for some sick and twisted reason and I find that to be very unfortunate. So much for no comment.

In relationships, it appears to me that jealousy can be directly attributed to insecurity and who really wants any part in that? Not me. And maybe that makes one of us, but I feel as though people would be lying if they said that they thoroughly enjoyed those conversations that either take place at bars, outside of bars, or on the way home from bars that go something like this:

Her: Who was that girl you were talking to?
Him: Oh - she's an old friend of mine from college who I haven't seen in years.
Her: Really? So did you sleep with her in college?
Him: What?
Her: You heard me. Did you sleep with her in college or even come remotely close to thinking about sleeping with her.
Him: No. I just said we were just friends.
Her: We're not speaking and I want to go home.

Please keep in mind - I know I have created an extreme exaggeration here, but let's just call a spade a spade - people are INSANELY jealous and I feel as though it is time wasted. And this goes for both sexes. Guys are equally, if not more so, jealous of girls when they are out and end up talking to another guy. It's as if no one (for the most part) is dating someone who they truly believe is 'into them.' Isn't that sad? Isn't it sad to know that even when you're in a relationship and you can have all of the good times in the world that there will always always always come a time when you're thinking or better yet - worried - that your significant other - is cheating on you, thinking of cheating on you, or heaven forbid - looking at another guy/girl.

And for those of you who fall into this category - I offer you this tad bit of advice:

Sure - there are going to be times when you're out and your boyfriend/girlfriend see someone who they haven't seen in a while, or who they always had a thing for and maybe - just maybe - it will spark something and they will want to be with that said person rather than you. That's not your fault - first of all - but obviously it's not ideal. For all of the other relatively normal relationships we have all been in - I highly recommend being a little bit more understanding of how the mind works. At the end of the day - everyone is attracted to new and exciting people on a regular basis. That doesn't mean that they want to end what could have been a 4 year relationship over it. And I'll tell you one more thing - having those 'all the time' conversations about how much he/she is flirting when you're out in public or not paying you enough attention or whatever the case may be where you are bringing up these full-of-question conversations that are always arguments - will more than likely lead you all the way back to single life. And let's face it - dating is weird enough as it is so maybe if we were all just a little more confident and had faith that while yes - (and this is hypothetical) - my boyfriend may look at a girl and think to himself - wow.. she's so hot...I'd like to do X, Y and Z to her...if he really cares about me he won't.

Here's to witnessing less arguments in public when I'm out just trying to have a good time :)

The Real World: Bugs Ruin Everything

Without spending too much time apologizing - yet again - for the lack of attention paid to my blog over the past couple of months - I would just like to quickly say that I'm sorry and I hope it doesn't happen again.

During this particular hiatus I have certainly had my fair share of ups and downs. And even though things seem to have ended with a down - I would be lying if I said that the time wasn't spent with mostly ups. No further details will be given at this time as this post is meant to be dedicated to the past two weekends of work that have consumed my life.

After coming off of what will definitely go down as my greatest work-related weekend ever - I feel like a new woman. Despite already knowing the majority of the people on the trip - minus the 3D artists from London - I feel like we were forced into our own miniature version of The Real World and I have to say - I loved it. Normally I wouldn't be a fan of working on the weekends, in the blazing heat, moving boxes and setting endless tables up while I entertain people and get wild children to stand in exactly the right space - but just like anything else in life - if you're with the right people - anything can be fun.

And here is the cast:
JC - the shy intern who very quickly developed an English accent that far exceeded the rest of ours for the entirety of the trip. If I had to say one thing about her it would be that I envy her willingness to ask millions of questions that most people would never dare to ask - and for that she is more confident than she realizes.

AS - the not so shy intern who is quite possibly the biggest Philly team fan I have ever encountered - at least female fan - and thanks to her 'I don't really give a shit' attitude - we were able to tear up the dance floor down in Georgetown for our last night out as a group.

CS - Wow. Really brought the A-game and if I had to give an MVP for Saturday night - it would be him.

Max - Just a couple of words to describe this man - Hilarious, honest, refuses to use sunblock, musically talented, artistically talented, blunt, hot mess and margaritas.

Joe - What to say about an insanely talented artist, writer, actor who seemingly finds his incredible lifestyle to be boring to say the least. He does remind me of a young Sean Connery - so he's got that going for him - which is nice.

EB - What can I say about myself that you all don't already know? Apparently I'm extremely motherly, slightly controlling and have anxiety when I'm in a situation that I can't completely control. Hopefully I'll grow out of it.

Needless to say - you learn a hell of a lot about people when you're forced into a bunch of long working days and overnight adventures with them, but if I had to sum up this 3D tour, I would say this:

Often times in life - we are forced into situations that we wouldn't normally choose to be put in; however, if you keep an open mind and recognize that no matter what you always have an opportunity to learn something about yourself, every experience is for the better. And I can say with confidence that these past two weekends have opened my eyes to things that I hope to do in the future and have helped me get through things that are now a part of my past.

In closing - maybe Bugs really don't Ruin Everything - cause I had a hell of a time.

Thanks guys.