There's Awkward and then There's Dating

Of course I've written about something like this before, but believe it or not I have been writing this here blog for more than a year now and it seems that some things never change. It has come time again to slowly dive back into the dating world (super) and my very first even remotely close attempt at putting myself out there has left me feeling like this is a total crap shoot.

Let me try to understand how things used to work. A guy would like a girl; maybe ask her father for permission to date her; and maybe...just maybe...they would go out on a date. Lord knows what happened after that but seemingly it's NOTHING like what is going on today.

Here is the 'today' scenario. Say you have a friend who has someone who he/she would like you do meet. Awesome - that sounds like a nice little set up. Instead of getting your number, you're more than likely going to be asked/told to find him/her on Facebook. Really? Is this so that this person can go through a series of pictures and wall posts to decide if they want to hang out with you? Talk about judgmental. And that leaves me without a date - at least in that scenario - at least 90% of the time...every time. And what kind of odds are they?

How can a person be expected to get to know a person - or even attempt to know a person - if they are just going to cowardly look through their pictures in the hope that what? They find the other person attractive enough to what??? Send them a message? Not even call or text? I'm not one to talk on the phone like the next person - but this non-verbal communication world that we are all living is is not exactly conducive to meeting someone of any interest. And do you want to know what the funniest thing about this story is right now??? Because you know it's directly related to something that has already happened in my life - this guy hasn't even messaged me? Called me, text me...nothing. Despite telling our mutual friend that he thought I was cute. I'm assuming he took one look through my pictures and decided that I was insane and deleted me right away. What's a girl to do?

Sometimes my mom tells me to 'just sit down' when I go out. The truth of the matter is - I don't even have it in me to do that. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm as addicted to dancing as you can be and if I'm out - I'm up and about - mingling and having a good time. You'll never find me sitting at a bar, attempting to look cute in the hopes that some random, brave man will come up to me and offer to buy me a drink. The more likely scenario is me going up to the bar and buying a round of drinks for the group of people I'm with. No wonder my bank account looks the way that it does. But that's just me.

Side note - as I'm writing this - a commercial for E-Harmony is on. If that's not a sign.. I don't know what is :)

Anyhow - I don't know that I have a question to leave you all with as I don't know what insights anyone can provide that will not result with me having another awkward dating situation..or not dating situation as it may work out - some time in the near future.

So here's to the lessening of the awkwardness.

Cheers.

Lack of Inspiration

After beginning a blog about an entirely different topic - I've decided to delete it and write about something else. It seems that lately I have had quite a bit of trouble coming up with topics to write about. I'm attributing this to a sudden lack of inspiration - either that or I've lost all concepts of original thought and/or haven't left myself enough free time to actually sit down at my computer as I am right now and have a nice little conversation with all of you. Either way - I am attempting to get back on track with this and hope that you will all inspire me to continue writing about everything and anything.

So let's see...why haven't I had anything to write about lately? If I am to be completely honest with all of you - it's because I haven't been in the mood to give myself any time to think at all. That sounds completely silly but I suppose I've taken a bit of a step back in the emotional okay-ness category and have chosen to fill my time with friends and hanging out - and I'd like to say working out but my stupid blackberry hasn't worked all week so I haven't had an alarm to wake me up in the morning - and this has disabled me from filling your inboxes with the comedic relief you have grown to love about this blog (I hope). And while I'd love to be funny right now - I'm just not in a funny mood.

Quick side note though - driving a 15 passenger van on Friday night to take myself and my friends to a wedding was quite possibly one of the funniest and best decisions I have ever made. Rolling up to a wedding and getting out of what can only be described as an airport van all decked out was priceless.

But yeah - so I'm sure everyone goes through what I am currently going through - however - it's difficult for me to have 'off' moments because I'm always the crazy, bubbly personality that people have become accustomed to. This makes it hard to ever have an off day - everyone is asking you - what's wrong, what can I do to help, why are you not smiling and making me laugh? And while I certainly love making people's days - there are days when I just want to be quiet - believe it or not - and it's becoming apparent that with my personality - it's not the easiest thing to do.

So over the past couple of weeks I have just been overthinking the obvious - probably because I didn't give myself any time at all to really recover after the bullet to the face and it has caused me to randomly experience every type of mood that I try to avoid on a daily basis - anger, sadness, grief, embarrassment, bitterness and maybe even melancholy - if I ever used that word - which I don't.

I guess the ultimate question here is - how are you truly supposed to deal with something that will never make sense to you and no one will ever have an explanation for? Including the person who did it? How can you be expected to move on when the sheer thought of moving on is almost void in your mind? It's as if dating in and of itself is so awful to think about - coupled with the fact that I'm constantly being told that I'm incredibly intimidating which is why no one approaches me when I'm out in public. Seems like a lose/lose situation right now, doesn't it?

Well believe me - I am light years away from actually being down about the whole relationship bit - BUT - and that's a huge BUT - I am having a hard time 'getting back on the horse' as some corny folks would say. Truth be told - I will get back on...just not sure when that will be.

But here's to the start of what I hope will be some inspirational blog posts....and maybe some awkward stories along the way.