Can You Be Honest Without Appearing Jealous?

It seems as though I am faced with this very question on a regular basis. In today's competitive market - where there are realistically three girls to every one guy (PS- I pulled that statistic right out of my arse..so I apologize if that's way off) - it comes as no surprise that people are very often accused of being jealous. Most girls operate on the wavelength that tells them that any girl they see who is even slightly more attractive than she is is a massive bitch and must be destroyed. Of course you would hope that these feelings of sheer anger and menace disintegrate when they leave high school, but that is very often not the case.

However, and that is a very big HOWEVER, there should come a time when these blatant assumptions just go away because the truth is, (and I'll be a little generous here) probably seven times out of 10, that girl who you thought was the devil and probably not the nicest of people...is not. At least this is my theory, but that's moreso because I think I'm a very good judge of character. I have had my fair share of miss-reads, I will call them, but I am only human. My problem is this...

I have reached a point in my life where I'm very honest with people. I don't feel the need to sugar coat really anything and I'm sure some, if not all, of my co-workers will tell you that I have absolutely no filter. When that honesty is translated into my personal life and my feelings towards people who are overly mushy gushy about their relationships or people who try too hard to impress other people, comes across as me being jealous of said people, I do not believe that that is the case. I'm not jealous that he/she is in a relationship and I'm not. I think that over the age of 18 (and that's nice of me) you should not be broadcasting your high school-like emotions to the world.

Here are the facts: if someone is constantly updating their status on Facebook to talk about how she can't wait for Mr. Perfect to get home because he makes me feel like a princess or life is over..he dumped me -- I'm probably going to say that that is just dumb and people need to grow up. The problem is that expressing those sorts of feelings in that type of situation is very often perceived as feelings of jealousy. This is not the case. I am never ever ever jealous of people who are happy in their relationship and have found someone who is potentially their 'other half.' That makes me happy and we all know that I'm always happy so this is a great thing. So why doesn't it come across this way?

Why is it that people assume that other people are unhappy with you because you are happy in your relationship? I'm not sure if it's because in general people do not want other people to be happy. This inspires me to tell an awfully long and drawn out story about a roommate I had in college, but I will not waste the time to do so. In reality, she brought nothing to the table..end of story.

So please enlighten me...if you dare to be so bold. I guess I believe that if you are happy in your own life, it should be perfectly normal for you to be happy for other people who are enjoying themselves as much as you are. Maybe we should all think about that and make that a goal this week. I dare you.

Goodnight!

Cheers to Stapes and Nealey

I had every intention of writing about how honesty is very often mistaken for jealousy BUT I just got some very exciting news and that particular blog post will be available tomorrow instead.

This blog is my sincerest congratulations to two of my great friends: Mr. John Stapleton and Miss Nealey Levi. Stapes proposed to Nealey the night of Monday, June 29th in their bare apartment...which I'm sure is neatly organized with perfectly labeled boxes as they are moving tomorrow. Needless to say, these two have been dating for around 4 years now and you will very rarely find a couple who compliment each other and truly have as much fun together as these two do.

And here is my speech:

After all the time spent in DC, all of the parties, all of the hang out time and all of the trips, I can say with great confidence that we have all been hoping for the two of you to get engaged for quite some time now. You two exude the kind of confident and honest relationship that I truly hope to have some day (sooner rather than later would be nice, but I won't be picky...this is about you guys anyway). I mean seriously, what two people love to go to Taliercio's more after a night of fantastic hanging out in Olson's garage than you two? No one I know...that's who.

That's besides the point. Nealey- I think everyone (or I'll speak for myself here because I don't want to assume anything) dreams of having their significant other smile at them the way that Stapes smiles at you...and makes you laugh the way he makes you laugh. It truly is a joy to see and I wish you both a life time of happiness.

Congratulations again. I love you both.

And then I had an Epiphany!

I'm 87% positive that that is the correct spelling of epiphany so that's pretty cool. Anyway, I thought that I would write a quick little something before I go out for a little karaoke at McDonagh's in beautiful downtown Keyport.

As it turns out, today I had an epiphany (obviously). And as I sit hear listening to Journey's Open Arms on Pandora (that's right...I don't have iTunes and I'm okay with that) I would like to share this with my group of loyal followers. During a presentation this afternoon by one of our esteemed interns at Princeton Partners on social media, I came to the conclusion that I am truly not passionate about really anything. As horrible as that sounds, I can explain. You know how you probably know people who are passionate about sports and politics and social media? Well while I am interested in all of these things, particularly sports, I don't sit around and read statistics all day or go to my favorite team's websites to see who they signed or what so and so did in college and why he might suck in the NFL. I'm just not into that. I don't know if it's because I maybe don't like reading on my computer or if I get sick of looking at the computer after an entire day of it, but it's just not my thing.

The one thing I do know is that I love to help other people figure out what they love...or just make people smile in what is probably 'just another day at work' for them. I'm sure some of you, and I won't name names, are thinking that that is incredibly silly and in no way can that be translated into a career. Well here's what I have to say to you: SUCK IT! I'm gonna make it happen!

So any advice you can give me on making this career of mine happen - I am all eyes. For the time being, I will continue doing what I also love -- writing this blog. Thank you again to all of my loyal readers. I hope in some small way, I make your day every day that I write something (because I know at times...those days are few and far between).

I'm gonna go sing The Outfield's Your Love to a group of strangers. Rock on!

When Relationships End, Shouldn't Questions?

I'm going to keep this short and sweet because I'm honestly shocked that this conversation took place today, but feel the need to pose the question: Why, when you've ended a relationship with someone do they feel the need to ask questions that arose in a conversation that happened with someone you haven't spoken to since before you two even broke up? Hard to follow, so I'll just spill the beans here.

Apparently someone said something to an ex that led him to believe I was spreading rumors about him on Facebook. Even if that were the case, which it is not, why on earth bring it up now? Does this help us in our 'going nowhere' attempt at acquaintances? I think not. So then why bring this up in the first place?

Let me paint an even better picture. You have not spoken to this person in something like six months! Even if I were to honestly say - yeah...you know what...I did. I wrote horrible things about you on Facebook and all of cyberspace has determined that you were not the best boyfriend...does that make you feel better? Probably not. And also...imagine all of these things when you're well past the closure point. Even more pointless.

So I would like to know...does anyone have any rationale for this nonsense? Or is this just another attempt at a man trying to 'make a point.'

Help me out here people!

Stuck in a Routine?

Due to the fact that I have been lying in my bed with the flu all day today, I have had the wonderful opportunity to think about random things that I normally wouldn't give a second thought. This leads me to my next question: Are routines a good thing? A bad thing? A necessity? Or something else that could either be construed as good or bad? I know this is a simple question, but I witness people going through the motions every day and I wonder: Is this what I do every day? Do I do the same exact things every day? Well let's see...I guess on work days I do pretty much the same thing. Wake up, make my bed, shower, get ready, think about making a lunch but never make a lunch, stop at WaWa and get coffee (or gas...or both), and drive the 50 miles to work. And then there's the work day which is never the same - thank goodness - and then (usually) I do home and work out. I say usually right now because I'm pretty damn bitter with the fact that I haven't worked out in about 6 days now and I feel terrible about that.

I think because my work days are usually not the same, I do not feel like I, myself, am in a routine. And if we take this to the next level and I think about my life outside of work - I am so far from a routine that I think that may be the reason behind me having the flu right now (which...if that is the case, I'm totally fine with that because I have been having a super duper time).

And then I'll go as far as to take this to that level. If you're in a relationship...the chances of you falling into a 'routine' are pretty good. Why is this? I swear- if I hear another married person tell me or talk about their lack of sex life or boringness in the bedroom- I'm going to just scream! Why does this happen? I mean are we all that lazy? Too tired? That's some BS if I've ever heard it. You should never be anything or have any excuses to not shake things up with your significant other. That's my advice for this post.

Back to the issue at hand - routines. What are your thoughts? And please make them interesting because I will probably be home sick all day tomorrow as well.

Thanks all for reading!

Tween Speak...Not Feeling It

I'm aware that this will directly offend some of my readers, so please take this as my sincere apology. I would like to say that I am not referring to you directly, but to those who actually make up the horrid generation that can currently call themselves 'tweens.' As far as I can tell, these kids have enough attitude to run a small country - or so they think - and yet they cannot put together a coherent sentence and quite frankly this has got to stop.

You all know what I'm referring to...I mean for crying out loud, people are advertising in this 'tween speak' nowadays. Better yet, I was able to come across quite possibly the most annoying example of what I am referring to. Check out this nonsense.

Let's see...the basic ones that I encounter on a daily basis are lol, j/k, lmao, omg, ttul...and the list goes on and on. I'm pretty sure these tweens are having full conversations like this. And you wanna know what I think of this? I think it's pretty dumb.

I mean honestly...are we all in THAT much of a rush that we can't say actual words anymore? Am I a massive toolbag because when I'm chatting with friends online and I am actually laughing out loud I make the executive decision to write 'I'm laughing outloud right now!' Whatever the reason is, I think we need to kick it old school at this point. Let's all say what we really mean...and the ENTIRE WORD!!

It's silly, and quite possibly the reason that these tweens are as rude and prick-like as they are. I think it's an easy fix and we can all work on this every day to stop the madness. Damn the man...save the empire!

I'm sure the tweens won't get that reference...either because I spelled it all out or because they are too cool to watch an awesome movie like Empire Records, but either way...let's do this.

No more loling....I can't take it anymore!!!

I do love you all for reading though!

Present Day Question

Now that sounds like the stupidest title ever, I'm sure...but if you only knew ahead of time what I was referring to, it wouldn't seem so stupid. This is an issue I am currently struggling with, but something that I feel very strongly about. The act of giving someone a gift (present). Now these can come for all sorts of reasons, but for the purpose of keeping this post short and sweet, we are just going to be referring to the pre-determined 'we must celebrate because we took the time to put these on the calendar' holidays. Here is my issue...

Call me crazy, traditional or just plain silly, but around the holidays I get really excited to buy people presents. STOKED even.. and I never use that word. It's just part of my personality. I love to buy things for other people. When it comes to giving people presents, I truly do base it on (and we'll just use Christmas as the example here because it's the easiest) how nice (or naughty) a person has been. That may seem lame or even very 'Night Before Christmas-ish' but that's just how I am. I don't believe that everyone should get the same type of gift or gifts that cost the same amount of money or any of that hoooooo haaaaaa.

I believe that presents should be given because the person on the receiving end is a nice person. You enjoy that he/she is part of your life and it's almost a way of saying exactly that.."I'm really happy that I know you...or that you're my mom..or that we are getting to celebrate another Christmas together because you're awesome."

When it comes to the less Hallmark-y holidays, should we really feel obligated to buy presents for people just because the calendar says so? I honestly don't think so and I really don't think that that makes me a bad person. I would never expect to get the kinds of things I do for holidays if I was a mean person all year, or if I didn't treat people with the kind of respect that I would hope to be treated with. It's just not the way I am.

So I want to hear from you. What are your thoughts? Buy presents for the hell of it or because the calendar says to do so? Let me know. And be honest!

Stay classy.

Your Handshake Says a Lot

Being that my social life/professional life has put me in a situation to meet and greet people on a regular basis, I have come to truly appreciate a good handshake. I also came across this CNN article from a couple years ago which only further emphasized my point. That point is that people really need to put more effort and thought into their handshakes.

You know how people are always saying how important a first impression is? I'm not sure how well I do that overall, but I know that I always give a good handshake - if that is the form of communication or greeting that presents itself. Never ever ever in a million trillion years would I want someone to remember me as the girl who gave them a dead fish. That's pathetic, awful, embarrassing and you should have trouble looking yourself in the mirror if this is the category you fall into.

And then there's the other end of the spectrum. Those of you (mostly men..sorry) who feel that it is completely necessary to shatter all of the bones in the person's hand you are shaking. What on earth does this prove? That you're just dumb...because that's what I'm thinking.

Here's a helpful hint: know your audience. If you a larger man and you are about to shake the hand of a small-framed woman...take it easy on her. Chances are - she has to write or type or even go to the bathroom in the near future with that hand...so take'er easy.

In many instances I would say that using the word average comes with somewhat of a negative connotation. Not when it comes to handshaking. Firm, confident and easy does it are words to live by. I just thought of those right this very second too - which I'm thinking is impressive.

Hopefully this helps a bit...not to say that anyone here needs help in this area; however, I can almost guarantee that you know someone who does...so please pass this along.

*PS- you can pass along the link to this blog if you want as well.

Goodnight :)

Why Do We Wait to Call?

Being that I'm new to the whole real dating world, I have finally come across a situation that I am pretty sure I wish never existed. It brings me back to my old mentality of constant head games...or over-analyzing situations to the point of exhaustion. I've reached an age (not implying that I think I'm old because clearly that is not the case) where I'm done with all of this thinking. And so I ask...

Why is it that when you meet someone, there are all these 'rules' or at least implied rules for when the guy should call the girl or vice versa? What is the point of these rules? I mean when you think about it, it's like starting a potential relationship off with head games and well...that's just dumb. Here's the scenario in case you're having a hard time understanding what I'm trying to convey here. You're at a party, event, bar....you end up talking to someone who you appear to be interested in and he/she seems to be interested in you. You exchange numbers before night's end and then days go by and nothing. What the hell is going on with that? If you are interested, or if the other person is interested...why don't they just pick up the phone and call? I know people are more comfortable these days with online forms of communication- but if you really want it to go somewhere - in 'real' life - why don't you just call?

I've decided that it's time to just go for it...so I have in a way...and I don't have any great success stories to share at this time...but I am hopeful.

Please share your thoughts because this really bothers me that people are still playing mind games at this age. I mean seriously...sack up. If you get rejected - who cares? You barely know the person anyway:)

Goodnight all.