Gotcha with that title, huh? For a number of reasons, I cannot go down that road but maybe (hopefully not) at a later date... if all that has become the norm for me remains the same...I will be able to do so.
Good luck with that last sentence.
What I'm referring to here are situations in life that leave you utterly flabbergasted. When you cannot...with all of the brainpower that you yourself possess figure out how certain things have ended up the way they have. When this happens, and it reaches the point where it is completely out of your control and you have several choices but the main ones being 1) Choose to be happy for that person (if that is the given situation....in this case it is) 2) Argue about your disliking of the situation on a regular basis; thus, creating perpetual animosity....what do you do?
I happen to be in this very situation right now. Out of respect I will try to be as anonymous as possible. This particular person...who is extremely important to me...has chosen to surround himself with someone who I have not been fond of since day one. This is not my problem...you say...because its his choice and I should just be happy for him, right?
No. And I cannot, for the life of me, be any more fake to this other person than I have been and that is not saying much. By fake I mean I am as courteous as one can be when they not only have not a thing in common with this person but when the other person in question is generally unfriendly. Unfriendly might not be the right word...anti-social, uninterested. I can't really pinpoint it at this point and it's been long enough where I should have a good grasp on this but MY GOODNESS!!!
No social skills, brings nothing to the table...we're talking barely has a pulse as far as I can tell. What is appealing about this? Not sure and at this point I can't even think about it anymore because it gives me terrible pains in my stomach.
Even with all of this pent up anger and utter unhappiness with the decisions that have been made on the part of this person who I care so much about....I still try as hard as I can to be as nice as possible. I know that's the right thing to do, but for once...JUST ONCE..I want to say what I'm really thinking. I know that may come as a surprise to some of you that I do not always say exactly what I'm thinking but it happens quite often. In some ways I'm thankful of this and in others I wish I would just let it rip and be honest.
When is the right time to say what is probably the wrong thing? Despite the fact that the wrong thing might very well be exactly what you're feeling, it is more than likely hurtful and that should never be your intention. But this particular situation has left me in such a predicament because it pains me to say nothing...but I have said close to nothing to be mindful of people's feelings. I'm sure that's the right thing but it feels wrong.
Please help..and sympathize :)
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It took me a couple of paragraphs, but I got there (FINALLY). You are right, of course, but how about trying something a little different and confront (nicely) the person you are being fake with? She probably doesn't even realize there is a problem and certainly does not have the social skills necessary to comprehend that there is, in fact, a problem. Through no fault of her own she was basically left to bring herself up and yes, she should have a basic understanding of social skills, but, alas, this sometimes does not happen. Instead of feeling angry on your part, how about, in deference to the person you love in this relationship, show a little sympathy and invite said person to get bagels on a Sunday morning or something along those lines. She could probably use a little guidance in her life and who better to help her along, but someone who has nothing but the other party's best interests at heart. Good luck.
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