I struggle with this on a regular basis. I'm not sure if it's because I'm constantly being told that I'm overwhelming, or intimidating or really really ridiculously tall, but I feel like in some way or another it's been hinted that I should not let so much of me go up front that I currently do. And here in lies my dilemma.
Should I really be obligated to 'tone it down' when talking to someone who I don't know all that well but might be sort of interested in for fear that he will run away? I know I wrote about something like this before, but I hadn't had the same experience that I had tonight (which wasn't something to write home about..so don't get all excited)...so please don't accuse me of repeating.
What is the appropriate amount of information to give to a person when having a casual conversation? Should people really care? I'm of the opinion that if someone doesn't want to know or gets turned off by something honest that I have to say to him..then that's not worth it in the long run anyway. Maybe that's why I'm single though. Who knows?
The point is this: are people really interested in getting to know a person when they meet them out side of work? Or are they more interested in someone who says what they want to hear? Someone who just looks cute and might give it up by the end of the night? I don't know the answer because I have not been successful in this area.
So let's hear it. What do you ideally talk about with a person...say at a bar...that leaves you wanting to maybe take that person out on another date..or at least leave you interested in a potential second encounter? I really want to know.
Thanks for the input.
Night night.
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Hellooooo...my Angel Eyed Amazon Queen,
ReplyDeleteI'm BAAAAAAAAAACK!
A bit of advice...NEVER be anything other than yourself in any situation, especially when it comes to meeting people, let alone someone whom you may want to meet again. You'll run the risk of being accused of false advertising sometime down the line, and that could only spell doom. You can only find someone truly interested in you...if they truly meet the real Erin. You don't want anyone saying, "What did I get myself into" whilst referring to you.
So, here goes my second biddy... Stop worrying about the content of the conversation! You can talk about the most nonsensical crap in the world and it wouldn't matter. What you need to watch for is the ease at which that conversation takes place and the laughs and smiles you can pull from it. If you find that person is struggling to maintain a conversation with you, you can deduce how future talks will go. If the conversation comes natural, it can induce future conversations. Ya feel me?
There is something to be said about just being yourself. When placed in a situation where you are able to have a conversation with someone you may find cute, it is easy to try and alter your personality in an attempt to portray someone that you feel this person might usually be interested in. It is much more difficult to relax and just be you, especially under the circumstances, but in the end, you'll know where you stand. If that doesn't work... just give it up at the end of the night.
I'm just sayin'...
Word.
Topics of conversation at a bar, particularly in the Fall, could be about your beloved Giants, a college football game, how much fun you had in college or Europe or corn hole. I think the most important thing is to listen to that person first and then ask a question that would indicate to them that you really are interested in learning at least a little something about them. Just my 2 cents.
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